Grace and Courtesy: Building a Better World

It was an honor to speak at the TEDx event, in conjunction with Goldey Beacom College, on August 29, 2019. I would like to thank Raife Cebeci, Dr. Dan Young, and Jill Slader for giving me the opportunity to speak and share in a wonderful evening of outstanding presentations (link below).

8-29-19 TEDx Speech

I have a secret to share…

I have immediately heightened your senses to what I am about to say, right? Well, we don't want it to be a secret and that is one of the reasons why I am here this evening!

We know how children learn best and we can prove it. We have the documentation and the research to prove it.

Millions and millions of dollars spent finding the best educational pedagogy for the classroom... parents, continuously searching high and low to give their child the strongest educational foundation and head start in life... Well, the search is over…it is Montessori!

As a former 9-year superintendent, I am baffled by the continual traditional approach that plagues our classrooms; we continue to group children by what Sir Ken Robinson refers to as “date of manufacture.”

Well, we don't in Montessori! We have three-year age groupings (3 to 6 year olds are in ONE classroom!). We believe that children are the authors of their own learning; that the child should have the opportunity to select what they would like to learn and take ownership to navigate learning, beautiful and free of obstacles.

You might have heard of the term, “follow the child.” Well, it means that the child has the agency to select something from the prepared environment and that we follow the child’s natural inclinations. Do we give children the opportunity to BE WHO THEY ARE in the traditional setting? Well, Montessori does.

A child selects a project from the prepared environment. The child may construct something, deconstruct it, and maybe again; and again and so on (if they choose). You see, in the Montessori classroom, the teacher does not interrupt the work cycle.

Think about the repetition of habit... An example can be seen in athletes: a batter in baseball - trying to correct their swing and fixing a bad habit. The same can be said about the learning environment - that deconstruction and construction in a repetitive pattern may be the necessary construct of the basil ganglia activity in the brain in order to cement the learning process. However, what do we commonly do in the traditional classroom? A teacher may pass out an assignment and what happens? The children rush through the assignment. The teacher announces, “Time's up! Clean off your desks!" "Pull out your math notebooks." Or, "we are going to go across the hall for math, now.” We tend to compartmentalize.

Do we do that in the real world? Let's compare, for a moment. Let us imagine a real world scenario: we are all working for the same company…tomorrow from 10am to 11 am, we will be working on purchase orders. Then, we will ring an “office bell” and we will all return phone calls; the lines will be busy!

For the most part, that is NOT how we operate in the real world. So, then WHY for the most part, do we operate that way in the traditional classroom?

In Montessori, we have 3-hour uninterrupted work periods. We are guided by something we call planes of development; for example, from birth to three years old, the child is a sponge, an “absorbent mind.” Then, they are constructing from three to six years old. Again, from six to nine years old, where the child may want to learn all of the president’s names, the states, the capitals and then they want to use that information (they may ponder how to use the information). Then, from nine to twelve years old then construct and act upon it - the child may want to open a lemonade stand to help the animal shelter down the street.

We are also guided by what is called sensitive periods (often referred to as development windows of opportunity). Examples from birth to seven include, the child’s need for order, emotional control, interest and development of math concepts and the list goes on... In Montessori, we understand that by the age of three, the child switches from an “unconscious worker” to a “conscious worker.”

A feminist, an activist, a medical doctor, a teacher and an anthropologist, developed all this, brilliantly. Dr. Maria Montessori! Thanks to her scientific, brain-based approach to learning, she was a woman who understood that the brain expected to learn through the hands and senses.

For a moment, I would like you to imagine a future WITH Montessori. For some of us, it is already a reality. In fact, we have Montessorians walking amongst us. It sounds like a new feature film! I can guarantee you that it is something that you are not going to want to miss because it is filled with hope and promise for a better tomorrow.

Montessorians have a keen perception to the meaning of the terms grace and courtesy. Grace and courtesy are woven into the fabric of the Montessori environment, along with social justice, respect for one another’s differences, practical life and peace education! Isn't that what we want for every child?

For a moment, I would like you to embody two of our meeting norms at the American Montessori Society. The first is to dream without limitations and the second is to provoke the realm of possibilities. What would the world look like with Montessori? What would the world look like through the lens of change? I wish this was an interactive presentation and I could hear your thoughts.

My thoughts? I see, a cohesive society filled with peace; where people treat one another with grace and courtesy. Grace and courtesy in our places of work, in our front lines of industry, in our athletic fields, in our concert halls and in the hearts and minds of all.

I see Montessori in the workplace. Where leaders are capitalizing on their employee’s natural interests and talents, which leads to more innovation. John Seely Brown (Chief Scientist at Xerox) says that Montessori IS innovation!

I see Montessori in elder care. Where dementia patients are re-engaging in memories that are spared by dementia, such as motor memory, how to dress one-self, and how to eat. People with dementia are giving back to their community and contributing as best they can; feeling a sense of accomplishment when they do.

I see Intergenerational programming, where communities are serving each other through all stages of life developments.

I see governments where leaders respect differences, regardless of their political parties or beliefs. Leaders who offer suggestions and agree to disagree. Leaders who offer alternative solutions to the problems that we face in this world. A society where people exercise self-control, which leads to focus, which leads to accomplishments, which leads to success.

That is the type of world that I see and want for my children!

However, in order for this world to become a reality, we also have to talk about division; what divides us as a society.

I have been fortunate to give a few keynotes and presentations on creating movements and teach a doctoral course on ethics and critical leadership. When you look at the ethical challenges of leadership, the answers are easy and I think there are two solutions. The first is to use T.R.U.T.H. in leadership, which is trust in relationships that seek to understand through transparency and humility (topic of my previous TEDx talk). The second is to change the obelus (division symbol) into a plus sign.

Whenever I think of division in a movement, I think of how closely related it is to addition. Think for a moment of the obelus (÷). The symbol is almost like a line in the sand dividing two people (the two dots). You can imagine the people with their arms crossed, maybe backs turned to each other, at odds over something. That line in the sand that separates them is a lens of thinking that divides us. That line can be easily filled in to empower a movement.

We need to change the conversation and get off our islands (#getoffyourisland)! We need to look at the commonalities; what makes us stronger is when we bridge that gap (fill in that line) and work together for a better world.

Montessorians are doing just that! We are planting seeds for a better tomorrow…for a better future. We have a HOPE. I think it is similar to Dave Ramsey’s description of hope: it is like trying to light a fire and then someone adds lighter fluid and drops a match and BOOM! The lighter fluid is the hope…it lights you on fire! That is the hope we have…in a better tomorrow, for a better future! OUR hope is in the child.

A good friend and colleague, Gina Lofquist (Chief Education and Learning Officer at AMS), challenged me one day to “follow my son.” She said to give no agenda and allow him to create it. You have absolutely no idea how this changed my thinking and my life... My son, Nolan, who was seven years old at the time, created an amazing agenda. We spent time quality time together... it involved being out in nature... we laughed, a lot... and it even included a reasonable bedtime, where he said to me, “Dad, we have to go home now so that we can get a good night’s sleep.”

Have you ever followed your child to find out who they really are? It requires a lot of trust, doesn't it? If you have not yet, it is never too late.

You see, “inherit in the child, is the ability to change the world.”

BUT, are we listening?

My son, Nolan, joining me at the TEDx Event.