Got to learn to put the past behind you.
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Got to learn to put the past behind you.

The past must die either way, that’s its purpose. Make sure you don’t die along with it.

We all know how it feels to think back to a mistake made or a meaningful event in life with an unpleasant outcome and have it occupy a significant amount of space in your thoughts.

These negative memories can be unpleasant and intrusive, and the shame and regret they provoke often causes us to obsess over them.

What could have been done differently?

How can that mistake be avoided in the future?

To a degree, these questions are positive. If the situation is not examined, if it not faced it might be doomed to repeat.

But, there’s a point at which obsessing over these events can become unhealthy.

At the very least, dwelling on the past keeps you from growing — how can you make meaningful change in your life without letting go of things that can’t be changed?

Moving on is something that we often find hard to do. We′ve all suffered disappointments, been treated badly, and end up living with regrets.

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you?….

It isn′t emotionally healthy though to spend too much time and energy dwelling on the past; we can′t go back and change things.

So how can you move on?

We all have things that haunt us from our past.

It can be a very uncomfortable feeling that leaves you more devastated when a new problem occurs because you blame yourself for some event or action in your past.

Unfortunately, self-defeating logic may dictate that if you are the common denominator of your life, then it all has to be your fault, even though it’s not.

It is much more productive to think of yourself as a product of your entire self, not just the past.

If you only look at negative things, then those negative things can become a part of your?personality, and that may keep you in an emotional bind where life becomes more difficult than it needs to be.

Do you want to add a word or two?

Holding on to pain is normal, but it is also normal to let it go after an appropriate period of time. This can be very hard if you were abused as a child, for example.

The first thing to do is to get totally honest with yourself and decide who you want to be. Even though you may have been victimized, you don’t have to remain a victim.

It’s one of those internal decisions that is confounding. Yes, what you went through changed you and made your life different from other people, but you do have a choice here.

Your Comments …..

You don’t have to live in victim consciousness; you can move through it if you’re ready to do the mental work that’s needed.

Imagine how life would look if you didn’t see yourself as a victim or bad in some way. Now just sit with these thoughts for several minutes. These thoughts will reveal that you really are okay, and it was never your fault.

You are good enough and lovable enough, and you don’t have to jump through hoops to get people to like you.

Make sense?

There’s an old saying, “Those who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.” This is totally not true.

Look, you won’t repeat your?childhood—that can never happen—but you can step back from life if you think that you will experience the same pain in different ways.

And stepping back from life can keep you from the greatest gift and healer we all have, which is love.

It is very difficult for anyone burdened by past pain to let love in. You think that you are unworthy or will only pick people who are bad for you.

Again, even though that may have happened several times, the game isn’t over. You can grow from life lessons, but you have to make the choice to do so.

Sometimes we?fear that if we release old pain, we will also release any love we felt from that time.


I don’t think you can completely erase your painful experiences, but I know that you can put them in a place in your mind so that you can continue onward with life and find the love you deserve.

All it takes is a decision that you want your future to be better, and you are on your way. It takes a little effort, but it is well worth most anything you need to do to let go of thoughts that upset you. This way, life can give you the gifts you deserve.

If you liked this article by Dayal please share it.

Dayal Ram

Managing Director at DAYALIZE

1 年

Life isn’t always easy. ? We all go through difficult periods from time to time, and if we’re going to live our best life, then it’s important that we’re moving forward and working on improving ourselves. ? There are plenty of ways you can help yourself to put the past behind you and come to terms with things. ? Even if you’re happy with your life, the past will cause problems for all of us multiple times in our lives. ? Whether that’s struggling to cope with a loss, or still being traumatised by memories of past abuse. ? For this reason, it’s recommended to actively work on moving beyond your past experiences. ? ?If you’ve made mistakes in the past, no matter what they might be, then you might be a little concerned about falling back into your old negative or destructive ways of doing things. ? One way to get around this is to break those old habits and look at building new ones.?

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