Got Imposter Syndrome?

The Art of Getting Over Ourselves

If you're creative, you know what it feels like when the Imposter Syndrome kicks in. Yesterday, I wrote an article, "What To Do If You Hate Yourself." Once the inspiration of my seat-of-the-pants writer kicked in, I sat down at my desk and let the words flow through my keyboard. After several edits, with the sun rising to warm the Arizona desert's dry, cutting, frigid air, I hit the publish button.

Then, I layered up before hopping into the seventh Subaru Outback I've owned life-to-date. I drove a half hour northeast towards Bartlett Lake and set up a practice session, unleashing the fury of a Smith & Wesson 9 mm carbine rifle I recently acquired. No, I'm not a hunter. But I love guns, target practice, and pretending I'm ready for the next Civil War if that ever happens.

After shooting my target for about forty-five minutes, I grabbed a trash bag from the back seat and picked up a fraction of the spent shell casings and other garbage humans leave behind. When I was done with my open desert gun range session and picking up as much garbage as my trash bag could hold, the sun rose over the mountain against which all conscious shooters shoot. It was 37 degrees, and as the sun warmed me, I lost a few layers before dropping into the cockpit of my car, Wu Wei, because all vehicles and bicycles I own have names.

Home Is Where Our Best Critics Live

After unpacking my gear, I walked into the kitchen through the garage door of our 1,400 square foot, almost tiny home, and there was my amazing wife, Janice. We greeted each other like any couple who's been married for 39 years, with a smile, hug, and kiss on the cheek.

After the embrace, Janice said, "Honey, that article you wrote today, Wow. I liked it, but …"

"But what?" I say. It gets quiet, fast. Whether I write, paint, or capture digital images of light, Janice is my worst critic, even though she's been my best friend and wife for decades. If I paint something I think is an eight, Janice awards me a two. When I write an article and view it as nine, Janice gives me a three. She has lived with me through thick and thin and gets tired of me asking her what she thinks as if I'm still a child.

Yesterday was different. Janice liked the article. But she thought I was too harsh on myself. She said, "I hate the word hate." So did my mother, who used to say, "Don't use that word," as she delivered the tragic look of Irish Catholic disdain.

That's when my Imposter Syndrome kicked into high gear. I reread my article and thought, "Shit. I hate that word hate, and the opening paragraph needs an edit. Shit, I need to stop cussing so much."

That's when I made a couple of quick edits to soften the cut of my self-criticism. Then, I went about the rest of my day. And my Imposter Syndrome remained through our Sunday family dinner and as I rested my head on my pillow.

Being Creative Is a Gift, Not a Curse

If you're a creative type, you know the inner conflict that torments us worse than a narcissistic parent, teacher, or boss. Who talks to you worse than you speak to yourself? Chances are, nobody. Welcome the realm I call the Inner Game of Life.

The Inner Game of the human mind can be brutal, akin to having a curse. And for my entire life, I've had this inner self-critic that used to compel me to self-medicate. Over the years, I've learned to get over myself, and in my coaching practice, I help others do the same thing by assisting them to feel grateful for everything.

Today, I woke up thinking about the Imposter Syndrome and what I might reveal to other creatives who deal with it. The good news is that there is hope for everyone who habitually beats themselves up over their creative endeavors.

Imposter Syndrome Is

If you don't know what I'm talking about, Imposter Syndrome is that sneaky feeling of self-doubt, insecurity, and fear of being exposed as a fraud. It's not an official medical condition but a real experience for all creative types.

This inner demon makes us think that our creative output, skill, and talents are due to luck, not creative gifts or real-world qualifications. Here are a few reasons why Imposter Syndrome plagues creatives more than most, but we all have it.

1. The inner perfectionist. We set too high a standard for ourselves, which is why many gifted painters, writers, and photographers fear sharing their work.
2. Fear of failure and rejection. We worry about making mistakes or not meeting the expectations of others, like the people we live and work with daily.
3. Not being good enough. Remember the haunting dreams in which we are standing naked or in our underwear while in front of the grade school classroom or boardroom full of stuffy people who grant us a paycheck? Dreams like this make us wonder if we're good enough for the job or tasks.
4. Self-awareness. When I walk Under Dog Jones, the coolest rescue mutt who ever lived, he can't think about himself. Dogs, like cats, and all animals don't have the gift of self-awareness. Only humans do. Given the gift, we have to deal with its cousin, the curse of self-criticism, and all her relatives. Use it wisely, or else.

How to Deal with Inner Conflict

Our self-doubt, self-loathing, and inner critic fuel our shared plight in overcoming the Imposter Syndrome. So, what are the best ways I've learned to overcome our self-critical selves?

1. Acknowledge your feelings. What you observe, including yourself, changes what you observe. It's called the Observer Effect and is real, even if you're not a physics expert. Observing and accepting your feelings is part of being normal, but without letting these feelings define your abilities. Feeling stuff without numbing the mind and body is to process the feelings. In other words, learn to feel all of your feelings and see them as the teacher within.
2. Share your feelings. Part of processing your feelings is letting them out by talking, journaling, or writing about them, as I'm doing now. Talk about your feelings with trusted friends or mentors. You'll often find they've felt the same way.
3. Track your wins and success. Keep a record of your achievements and positive feedback. One way to do that is by feeling grateful for the minority of people who consume your work, noticing it, commenting on it, sharing it, and subscribing to or following you. Review your tribe of followers and successes when you feel self-doubt creeping in.
4. Train your mind. When dark thoughts kick in, train yourself to counter them with positive thoughts. Becoming okay with yourself is a process, not an event. You can't learn to be okay with yourself on a webinar. It takes lots of conscious practice.
5. Stop the comparison game. Playing the comparison game is a fast track to psychosis, and I'm not a shrink. Comparing yourself to others feeds Imposter Syndrome and to the couches of willing, available shrinks. Focus on your unique strengths and journey, and be grateful for everything, including the crappy feelings that teach you to be okay with yourself.
6. Embrace the creative journey. Most of us forget how creative we were as kids for many reasons, including the grown-ups who told us becoming a dancer, singer, writer, or painter would be a fast track to Loserville. If you're still practicing any art as a grown-up, you've overcome one of the biggest hurdles to success: leaving the naysayers, haters, and doubters in the dust that chokes them.
7. Have fun, and play with life. Kids play make-believe even though parents and teachers reprimand us for daydreaming too much. We ate mud, thinking they were muffins. We built forts, imagining our castles. We still have that childlike playfulness with us, even if we got that creative part pounded into submission.

In conclusion, everyone walking the planet deals with the inner critic creatives known as Imposter Syndrome. It's a common hurdle but doesn't have to hold you back. By understanding what it is and why it happens, you can tackle it head-on by accepting and loving it for what it is, an opportunity to be more okay with yourself in a world full of not-okay people still numbing their pain.

Embrace your creative gifts. Thank the God of your understanding for the gift of self-awareness that no other animal roaming the Earth has, which is why the mind of every human being is the gateway to salvation and the inner light that shines forever.

Thanks for reading my article, published originally on Medium, where writers get paid for being creative. When not coaching and advising emerging entrepreneurs, business owners, and investors, I help people improve their "mental wealth" and quality of life by writing, speaking, coaching, and advocating for mental wealth and well-being. Learn more at www.CliffordJones.com, or subscribe to The Clarity Letter on Substack.