Gordian Knot # 46 “I had no choice!”

How many times have we heard or made the statement ourselves -?“I had no choice” as an explanation or excuse for some incongruent behavior?

If we pause for a moment and examine what that statement really means, we encounter our internal struggles, underlying assumptions, conflicts of interest, unconscious biases, beliefs, values and perceptions of relative power. It is a lot to reflect on.

In his death, Archbishop Desmond Tutu demonstrated a clear understanding of what it means to be congruent or true to oneself.? He requested a cheap, wooden coffin and a bunch of white carnations, also the cheapest cut flowers available. This is aligned with his personal values and beliefs. The point I am making here is that Tutu was clear about how he viewed himself and how he wanted to be viewed by others.? He was clear about his values so he had a frame of reference for his choices.

But what happens when we are totally confused about what is fact and what is fiction, what is true and what is false, what is morally appropriate and what is not, what constitutes success and what failure looks like??

Do we know ourselves and what we stand for and how far are we willing to bend in order to be accepted by others and what others and why?

Being true to oneself and being congruent is truly one of the hardest things we do during our life’s journey but it is certainly a very worthwhile pursuit because without that self-knowledge and self -mastery we are like a rudderless ship without a compass. We truly “have no choice” because we have no frame of reference to go back to.?

In the movie, Don’t Look Up, the questions raised in this Gordian Knot are explored with brutal clarity, hilarity and raw honesty regarding the consequences of losing our way on the personal, national and global levels. (It is worth watching if you haven’t seen it yet and worth a second viewing if you have).

Bottom line is that we ALWAYS have a choice but we need to know what we stand for and what our frame of reference is in order to exercise that choice.?

We make conscious and unconscious choices every breathing moment and we will bear the consequences whichever way we choose. We must cultivate, develop and amplify the power of conscious and well informed choice because it defines who we are and the consequences we will face.?

Copyright ? 2022 Fay Niewiadomski