Google myself? What the heck is Google?

I was taught a very important set of lessons from my girlfriend at the time, now my fiancé.  Cannot let that good of a gal get away! LOL.

When I first worked up the courage to ask sweet Denise out on a first date, (took me two months), we hit it off like we had known each other for years.  I was hesitant about the first get-together because I had just a few short months earlier recommitted to a spiritual program of renewal and to defeating the disease of alcoholism.  Thusly, my choice to go to Starbucks for our date.

As we wrapping it up, a gentleman said to us as we were leaving, “Gee, it’s nice to see a couple so much in love with one another.”  Funny how complete strangers can see things right away that took D and I awhile to see ourselves.  I chide her often that I was the first to say “I love you.”

After another couple of dates, she suggested the killer, or so I thought at the time.  She asked me out for a “drink.”  Oh, shoot! Now what?!?  I am going to have to tell her of my drinking situation and how I cannot go there any longer.  A woman of her caliber will just toss me to the curb and move on.  How wrong I was!   As I now know, God put her in my life at precisely the right time and for precisely the right reason (or ‘reasons’, to be completely accurate.)

Well, at the “killer” date she ordered a vodka gimlet and I ordered a Diet Coke.  My sponsor and I had rehearsed exactly what I was supposed to say when and if the question came up as to why I wasn’t having a “drink.”  It soon did come up, and I spilled the beans - like right away.  I knew Denise was different because she has a very well-established pause button, which I found out later had not always been the case, but she had learned the skill.  As she collected herself after I said I was an alcoholic, she asked why I had agreed to come out to a bar and if we should leave. Nice pause button, dearest.  I said, “No, not a problem.”  I shared that my program,  if I connected fully to it,  allows me to go anywhere and do anything, just without alcohol.  We got to know each other some more and had a great time.

After, though, I was uneasy.  There was a lot I needed to share with her about my past and I was not sure how to tell her.  I did not want to scare her off, or worse, presume we were “an item”, thusly making a fool out of myself, telling her a bunch of stuff she did not want nor care to know.  Anyway, I concluded, she will run because of tonight’s revelation.  I did not call for a couple of weeks knowing what she was going to say when I called, but finally, at the advice of sponsor and friends, I did.

Damn Google… When I called her to say hi, she was in a pretty good mood and seemed glad to hear from me.  We agreed to go out to dinner, and I was relieved.  Again, spilling the beans, I said to her that I needed to get some things about me on the table just for the sake of her knowing me better.

She then said very casually - as if I knew anything about the subject-  “Oh, I Googled you and found out some things, but holy cow you were hard to find. Do you exist?” I was appalled.  You looked me up!?  How dare you!  You robbed me of the chance to be honest with you about my past (a tenant of the 12 steps to recovery: honesty.)  She was completely taken aback and said that she had not done anything out of the ordinary, totally a normal fact of life.  Well not for this caveman!! I  told her that what she did was creepy, that this relationship would never work, and that I was out.  Click.  

After more talking to people, I later called to reconcile, to say ‘I am sorry but we would have to agree to disagree on the subject of looking people up.’  At that point, she later told me, that it occurred to her that the reason she couldn’t find me on social media because I wasn’t ON social media .  It appeared that I had decided – apparently long ago - not to participate, and as a result, I really had no earthly idea what she was talking about.  No kidding.

Later that year, November of 2018, she invited me down to Florida to stay in her wonderful brother Chris’s condo.  While at the United Club, she told me to fire up my laptop – “Today’s your first lesson on Microsoft Word.”  I was like a kid at the July fireworks display, all ‘Oooh’s and ‘Ah’s!’  She said,

”Michael, this has been around for over 20 years… How could you not have used this before?  Like , how you could have built such a successful investment business without a clue about this most essential software?” 

 With that, she set me on a course over the next 18 months that is truly remarkable.  

The fact was, I had a paralyzing fear of computers due to being unable to type and just plain afraid. This was a pivotal factor in me having to sell my business.  This fear caused me to further use alcohol to alleviate my anxiety about never being able to “catch up.”  I was the guy with the flip phone in the back of the conference room while others continued to stay in touch with their offices and clients, working efficiently on their laptops and smartphones.  I mean to tell you,  I felt like the world was passing me by, I missed the start, and that now there was nothing I could do about it.  

“Nonsense,” she said. “You’ll learn this and I’ll help you.  But you will also learn to type because I refuse to do it for you. If you want this new idea of yours to turn into the company that you’ll use to pass along your message, you will need to use and understand computers.  Because again, I will not do it for you.” 

Well, everyone,  yes and no.  She has not actually done the work, but she has always been there to teach and be patient and edit etc.  So, she has helped and is frankly just as responsible for this undertaking as I am.  In fact, without her this message had no real chance of happening. Well, my typing is not so bad anymore.  I am writing my book which I have wanted to do for 30 years but could never get going on it. I  am on Facebook, which is where Denise started me. Social media what’s that? LOL.  Looking back, she probably feels a sense of responsibility for turning me loose on my dear friends!  I have taken to it like a duck to water.  Man, how God works, placing the exact right person for the job in my life.  Frankly, this article is long overdue and I am glad my heart told me to write it today.

Because of Denise, when you Google me now, you no longer find only a single thing about my life. The local newspaper articles about the SWAT team surrounding my house is all you would have known about me.  So, Denise had Googled me, found it very hard to find me, read only those articles, yet still wanted to know me more.  That is a Gal, guys.  Every morning she now shares the risk of my returning to a drink.  She really loves to see me conquering my fear of computers.  To date I am on Facebook, Snapchat, LinkedIn, Messenger, Text Magic, and even have my own website that I helped build and maintain - which I hope you check out: www.AbundantLifeSLC.com.  

It’s a miracle to have met such a great teacher, who has the skills to take literally a caveman and bring him, most of the time fearful of change, into the 21st century.  Do not even get me started about when she wanted to update my 15-year-old computer!!!  Well, she did and I could not be happier and healthier. The SWAT team articles are still there and forever will be. So what? Now because of my love of life, it is neither the beginning nor the end of the story.  As Winston Churchill said, “This is not the end, this is not even the beginning of the end, but it is the end of the beginning.”  On the back of my business card is printed our mantra at Strategic Life Coaching, Make a Beginning - anything is possible, any fear can be overcome, any plan can be achieved if action is also part of the plan.  Make a beginning, like I did, and get to true happiness and abundance. 

BE well and God Bless you as you understand God. Michael