For Goodness Sake, STOP Trying.

When I was a young lad attending school there were some things that I could do well, some things not so well and others that I just could not do.

The message I remember getting from the adults around was “just try my best”

I have given my best to many things in life and as I reflect back some of the best things in my life came from not trying ever so hard, and some of the worst came after trying very hard.

I look at trying today and am not impressed with the word at all.

I may be wrong, but it seems to me that as young people we carry around this trying as an excuse.

We keep this excuse in the back of our heads somewhere for a future emergency, we then use it almost like a hall pass.

For example, I remember trying hard to complete some homework.

After handing it in to the teacher, I received it back with a failing score. “What happened?” asked the teacher. I reached for the tried and trusted “but I tried really hard” and got the same old retort “Well you need to try harder next time”

This exchange was not just limited to school; it was the same at home or pretty much anywhere.

The challenge I had was that this did not help me improve.

Why was I told to do what didn’t work and do it harder?

I guessed that I must me missing something and thought it was just me.

I was not going to ask more questions at the risk of being perceived as stupid, so I kept quiet.

Over the years, I have learned to question anything I do not understand regardless of what others may think of me.

When training management teams on major cruise lines I started hearing the try excuse again.

?I was not going to accept that because I had learned another little routine that helped me improve when things did not work out and trying was not a part of my successful formula.

I applied the following exercise for classes that used the excuse of trying too much.

What Does Trying Look Like?

The objective is to hold a pen or a pencil high in the air.

?Hold a pen or pencil in your hand and when I say achieve the objective raise it high in the air.

Now look around the class and see what achieving the objective looks like.

Put the pen down.

?Take the same pen in the same hand, and when I say don’t achieve the objective do not raise the pen.

Look around the class and see what not achieving the objective looks like.

Put the pen down.

?Take the same pen in the same hand and when I say try to achieve the objective try as hard as you can to raise the pen in the air.

Do not actually raise it in the air; just try as hard as you can without actually doing it.

?Look around and see what trying to achieve the objective looks like.

?Does it look more like achieving the objective or not achieving the objective?”

Obviously, it will look more like not achieving the objective which raises the question “what do I do to get it done if not try?”

The formula is simple:

?Identify the objective.

Make a plan to achieve the objective.

Execute the plan.

Measure the result.

If the result achieved the objective, then celebrate and move on.

If the result did not achieve the objective then adjust the plan according to the results you did get and then execute the new plan.

Keep repeating the process until you achieve your objective.

Avoid all excuses and just accept the results when the objective is not achieved. Get into action by adjusting the plan and then executing the new plan.

Let me give a simple illustration using weight loss as an example.

The objective is for me to lose 10 pounds of weight in a month.?I do not want to go on a crash diet or start something that will not last, I want a way of life I can live with that results in a maintained ten-pound weight loss.

The plan is to cut out all sugary drinks and replace my burger and fries lunch with burger and salad.

I do this for a month and step on the scales to see if I have achieved my objective. My result is I actually lost four pounds not ten pounds. That is neither a good result nor a bad result, it is just a result.

So now, I rework the plan. I will continue to cut out all sugary drinks, replace my lunch fries with a salad, and eliminate snacks out of packets such as cookies and potato chips and replace them with a piece of fruit.

I start following this plan and at the end of the month, I find I have lost a further three pounds. I am still three pounds away from my objective.

I rework the plan again and add walking a mile a day to the plan as well as keeping the food changes from before.

After a month of doing this I find I have lost a further three and a half pounds. This result exceeds my objective by half a pound so now I stick with my new exercise regimen and diet to maintain my weight loss.

Rather than just trying to lose weight, I actually lost weight. There are those that say yeah, but it took you three months! To them I say, three months would have passed anyway and without the changes, I would still be ten pounds heavier.

When we stop trying and start doing, we will begin to achieve more.

Remember; identify the objective, plan the plan, execute the plan, measure results and if necessary, adjust the plan and put the new plan into action. Continue until the desired results are achieved.

When talking about trying I often recall a quote by Yoda:

Yoda was a Grand Jedi Master, stronger than most in his connection with the Force. Although small in stature, he was all wise and powerful.?In the movie The Empire Strikes Back, he trains Luke Skywalker to fight against the Galactic Empire; when Luke gets frustrated with trying to use the force he tells Yoda that he is trying as hard as he can. Yoda responds with “Do or do not. There is no try.”

Have you ever received the excuse of I tried but…?