Goodbye Good Girl Biz Tip #3: Stop efforting!

Counterintuitive? You bet!

"Go for the goal!" "Never give up!" "Just DO it!" NOOOOOOO!!!

Have you ever driven a street again and again, and then one day you simply walked it, and in walking it you discovered stores and experiences you never had before and never would have, if not for slowing down?

I tell you this from personal and long-suffering experience: Efforting as a constant - as a one-and-only tactic - is not going to get you anywhere. Oh, if you are young and vigorous you may be able to create something for a while but the essence of that thing will most likely be missing. That essence is you and it is not external at all.

What do you do, then, if efforting is not The Answer we have been taught that it is?

I will tell you my answer, but first I need to lay some groundwork for you.

First of all, have you ever felt miserable and tried to effort at something? Really really tough, isn't it! And have you ever felt fabulous, happy, uplifted, and tried to effort at something? Really, really easier, isn't it!

That happens because energy that is higher on the emotional ladder is lighter, has less resistance, and allows for more natural ease as the external energy mirrors your internal energy!

Second of all, have you ever noticed that you have more access to intuitive hits and great ideas that come "out of the blue" when you are less focused? That is because you are allowing in all of the possibilities instead of just the one you are demanding.

So, my answer to the question of what you do if efforting is not the answer, is: Allow.

Naturally, this takes a little bit of practicing. When I started I didn't even know where to begin! All I knew was to push. In every area of my life, pushing and efforting was my focus. I imagine myself as I was then: walking against a constant windstorm, pushing forward valiantly, the rain pounding my face, my body and mind beaten and tired from the effort.

I see that woman with compassion.

How does allowing help you in business? How do you apply it? I have a few thoughts and I would love to hear yours.

1. When working in a team, use any process that invites in all kinds of ideas from the people in that team, including you. Crazy ideas, practical ideas, visionary ideas. A friend of mine uses stickies on the wall, inviting people to put their crazy ideas on this side, and practical on that side and visionary in between. And then she reads them out and as a team they start discussing and choosing. The teams she works with always think she is a genius, but she knows that it is their ideas - their allowing - that has made all the difference.
2. Give up. Give up pushing against that promotion or that policy change that you have been fighting for or against. Now, why on earth would you do that? Because when you sit back, all of those possible breakthroughs that you "could never have seen coming" have a chance to step in. As long as you are fixed on one answer and one answer only, it is literally your energy that will not easily allow for the unexpected - and delicious - piece of information, intuitive hit, or seemingly miraculous event.

You are magic. Your energy, your emotional setpoint, these are the most potent powers you possess, hidden right behind your eyes. They can be engaged and even shifted! That is the wondrous truth.

To get to the point of understanding that truth, consider giving up a constant diet of efforting. You won't regret it.

Love and Moxie,

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Lori offers talks, individual mindset coaching, Speaker Training, Infinite Possibilities Workshops and 1% Solution Workshops for those struggling with depression, anxiety and other heavy mental/emotional states. Email: [email protected].