Goodbye Good Girl Biz Tip #10 - Don't get angry, go around 'em

When people just won't be your teammates - won't respond, won't communicate, won't work with you - a natural reaction is to get angry. But that does absolutely nothing for you unless you use that anger as fuel to drive you forward.

So don't get angry - just recognize that there is a closed door in front of you and go around that door. Because if you will notice it, there is nothing on either side of that door but the space you need to advance.

Think: The Maginot Line.

Don't know it? Well, here's what it was: a WWII massive expanse of defenses that did not extend far enough to stop the Nazis from going around it.

From our friends at Wikipedia:

"[The Maginot Line was] a line of concrete fortifications, obstacles and weapon installations built by France in the 1930s to deter invasion by Nazi Germany and force them to move around the fortifications. It was impervious to most forms of attack; consequently, the Germans invaded through the Low Countries in 1940, passing it to the north. The line, which was supposed to be fully extended further towards the west to avoid such an occurrence, was finally scaled back in response to demands from Belgium. Indeed, Belgium feared it would be sacrificed in the event of another German invasion. The line has since become a metaphor for expensive efforts that offer a false sense of security.[1]"

Sure, sometimes you have to find ways of working with people that don't see things the way you do. You have to get really creative about your communications, and you have to give up some of your desired modes of interaction along the way. But not always. Not when you get to the core of what you are in your work and your life.

For me, I am a communicator. We can disagree, we can even dislike one another, but we damn well better communicate about it.

Not everyone agrees with me about this, so sometimes I get the big door slamming in my face; not often, but sometimes.

It is at times like these that I have to take stock of how this situation feels to me. And what it feels like to me is a big palm in my face.

Well, I have a choice here. (1) To be impotently and righteously angry; (2) To give up and feel defeated and do nothing; (3) To keep trying to push against something that simply won't move; or (4) Use that anger as determination to get what I need in another way.

I'll take Door #4, Monty!

It's difficult to let go of the frustration but it does pay off in forward movement, and since that's the entire game in the end, if you're trying to move toward a goal, then you really have to be able to do some side-moves, get around that wall, and just keep. on. moving.

To your progress!

Lori

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