Goodbye, Dad
Andrew Olsen
Leadership effectiveness drives fundraising growth. I'll help you improve both.
This is my dad, Roger Olsen. We said goodbye to him last night as he passed away after suffering a heart attack just a few days before Christmas.
As many fathers and sons do, he and I had a strained, difficult relationship for many years. If you know me well, you know that my family lost everything when I was a teen. We lost our home, all of our worldly possessions, our reputation, family and friend relationships, etc., due to my dad’s gambling addiction.
His addiction, my inability to truly understand it (and to understand his deep emotional wounds and struggles that triggered his addictive behaviors), and the immense hurt this caused both of us put a wedge between us that lasted for decades.
But that’s not where our story ends.
My dad went into recovery. And those of you who have experienced addiction know that recovery is a long-term, day-to-day process. It doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t undo all of the damage caused while an addict is actively using.
But in his recovery, my dad decided that he wanted to use his experience to help other people. He talked about a time when he was in the deepest despair. He had left our family and was sleeping in his car on the streets of Phoenix. One night, while laying awake in his car, he prayed and committed to God that if God would simply help him get back to our family, and help to heal him, that he would use the rest of his life to help others who struggled with gambling addiction.
Eventually he made his way back, and began to make good on his commitment by becoming a therapist and serving others who struggled with gambling addiction and speaking publicly about the dangers of gambling addictions. Over the last 10-15 years he’s likely impacted hundreds of individuals who struggle with addiction, and thousands of their family members and friends.
I often struggled to understand him. But in his passing, I’ve come to better understand how God was able to use this broken, imperfect, hurt man to help save and change other lives, and in the process to also help expose many of those people to the message of salvation.
How fitting that he should pass over the Christmas holiday, as we celebrate the birth of the One who brings hope and salvation to the world.
Dad, you fought a good fight. You helped a lot of people. I love you. I’m proud of you, and I’m sorry for not showing it better when you were here.
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If you or someone you love is struggling with an addiction of any kind, you’re not alone. There is hope. Below are some resources you can access if you’re ready to get help:
Executive Vice President, Nonprofit - Data Axle
3 年Deepest sympathy.
CEO & Co-Founder Leading Transformational Change in the Social Good Ecosystem
3 年Andrew my heart and thoughts are with you and your family. What a beautiful story about being human and all its complications, twists and turns. Thank you for sharing this and creating even more ripples of change and impact to honor your dads legacy??
PArent Advocate Bilingual at RCSD
3 年So sorry for your loss.
Co-Founder & Ex. Director Emeritus at Lost & Found Grief Center
3 年Such a beautiful tribute about an important issue faced by many. As a grief therapist, I see this kind of family struggle so often. You are so fortuante to have reached a place of understanding before your dad's death. Many people don't and are left with regret and questions the rest of their lives. Thank you for sharing this powerful message of hope & recovery.
Customer Relationship builder/Semi Retired
3 年So sorry for your loss It is a great thing you got to be with him in this day and age. So many are not around love ones when this happens