The Good Side Of A Bad Reputation

I was sat in a networking event recently in the outskirts of a large metropolitan city in the north of England.

The old building where we sat was in a leafy little village, and the air had the warm feel of spring about it.

Some entrepreneurs were standing up to talk about their businesses to varying levels of skill.

A cheeky young chap got up to explain his business, he was very good... He was slick.

But there was just one problem;

He dropped my pet hate into the presentation.

He bad mouthed my home town.

Here’s the thing, I actually believe its ok to joke or make light of YOUR OWN short comings.

For instance, we would have to be extremely rude to walk into someone else’s house and proclaim “Phwooooaarr what is that awful smell!!?!”

Naturally the host would be offended, so we wouldn’t say anything. It MIGHT be true, but we don’t SAY it, because as obvious as they might seem, it’s rude to point out someone’s shortcomings, right?

I think that what our cheeky young networking friend perhaps forgot in his desperation for a few laughs, is that if someone ELSE tells me that my proverbial home stinks, it’s offensive.

I’m sure that he didn’t mean it because we have all done something similar before.

Or perhaps only I have?

I’m short in height, I can be annoyingly energetic and excitable, I’m thinning on top, I have a large pointy nose, oh and I pick my nose too.

And those things can be a great source of fun for me and those who I’m close with (are we allowed to say that ‘it’s good for banter’?)

I’d imagine that for those of you who’ll read this wouldn’t poke fun at those externally visible imperfections of mine.

It’d be rude.

(*Just as a side note I would love it if you did point them out to me. All in the name of self improvement of course.)

But for all of my imperfections, I’d like to think that at the very LEAST my mother and children can see though them.

Because they actually know me.

Needless to say, the cheeky chap has won none of our business.

I hear people speak badly of my home town a lot. And unfortunately it does have a bad reputation in the national media.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

Matthew 7:3

The big question is how can we slow down the gap in which some towns get bigger and better weekly, whilst the majority fall behind?

For those of us who are from the ‘majority’ places, the uncool places that seem to get into the news for all of the wrong reasons, I think the first move should be to start reconnecting with our home towns again.

Spend our money where it’s needed.

Find the nicest restaurant and book a table there.

Use the local pub or park to meet friends. But treat it as if it were our own home and back gardens.

Because if we want our provincial towns to keep up with the pack, the motto has to be ‘use it or lose it’.

Indirectly we are making our own bed, good or bad.

I’m sure your town will have its own set of local characters.

Ones that everyone knows.

In my home town we had ‘Jesus man’. Who was a monk that literally walked all over the city, waving at people, dressed as a monk (including flip flops).

People from far and wide would see him whatever the weather.

Everyone knew something about him and his story became legendary.

I urge you to strike up conversations with the Jesus Man in your town. Get to know who they are and learn their story in their words, because their story is more interesting than our Facebook timelines.

You might’ve already guessed that I’m from Bradford.

An industrial town in West Yorkshire, England.

It definitely isn’t perfect, but I pride myself on visiting new cities and meeting new people, and I can guarantee that the average Bradfordian (regardless of ethnic background) is at least as friendly, humorous and welcoming as any other human being. And that’s on a bad day!

I can GUARANTEE that you will not find better curry in Europe.

We have St George’s Hall, built in 1853 and has hosted The Rolling Stones and more recently Mumford & Sons.

The city is steeped in War and Wool history. With some incredible architecture to show for it, and it has the fastest growing population in terms of birth rate outside of London.

Traditions have their place, and I’m not against any kind of tradition. There’s traditions that serve us and there are far too many that we hold on to for nothing.

(What exactly IS a traditional English town anyway and how far back in time do we go for the answer? 60s? 1660s? 60BC?)

The demographic we have in our towns and cities right NOW is our culture.

Not 100 years ago. Not during the war. Our home and our values are now. In this moment. With the people we speak to in the shop or at the bus stop.

In Bradford the diversity is exceptional.

Cultural differences can pose problems, but only where there’s closed minded ignorance.

To break the spell, I urge you to ask the difficult questions with an open mind, regardless of your own beliefs and backgrounds.

Be curious to learn, and expect the same back.

Be the example for YOUR ‘demographic’.

Connect, converse and learn from the people around you. Not the people on Instagram.

Also on a more localised level, (it’s that old saying) get to know your neighbour.

We didn’t choose our immediate family, but we love them. Why? Because we’ve trained ourselves to see the goodness in them.

Lets apply that same attitude to our neighbours.

Just watch your street improve as everyone starts to look out for each other.

Reconnect, because our human psyche needs the community.. not the one we see on our smart phone.

It’ll take time and patience.

Don’t expect the other person to change.

Don’t expect the fun to just happen. Don’t expect the clubs to just open. Don’t expect the musicians to just turn up and play for free.

Don’t expect the teenage gangs to stop looking to their peers for validation.

Don’t look outwards and wait for something to happen.

Be that social trim-tab to start the movement by investing yourself into your community, and eventually you will see dividends.

Learn to love where you live, but it starts with us as individuals.

Oh, and by the way. I forgive the cheeky networking business man for bad mouthing my town.

I thought his town was boring ;)

Looks like we’re all the same after all.

Matt