Good Moaning

What is the connection between a priceless seventeenth century painting, an audacious plan for an old age pension, and a particularly large sausage? Because the consequences of hiding the painting could spell disaster for all the characters involved. Over the past three nights I have been playing Capitano Alberto Bertorelli, the hero with the big medals on his chest and the chicken on his head, in the stage version of the BBC sitcom television series ’Allo ’Allo. I shall say this only once: with a full house for each performance, and several glowing review (e.g. https://www.theftr.co.uk/category/arts/reviews/), this was a triumph for the Mere Amateur Dramatic Society.