For Good Measure

For Good Measure: A phrase which means in addition to what has already been done, said, or given.

Standard: A level of quality or attainment. Something used as a measure, norm, or model in comparative evaluations.

In life, in any interaction which involves two or more people (a relationship or association) each individual has a set of standards (or lack thereof). It is one’s personal or professional expectation for the level of treatment, respect, and regard implied or forthrightly demanded of each relationship or association. It is the proverbial establishing the bar, where one chooses to disassociate with those unwilling to meet the standard.

Thank heaven for standards. They are the foundation of all regulations, rules, policies, and laws. They are the sunscreen of life, the most basic of precautions. Without standards, life, thus living, would be chaotic, unsafe, and toxic. Inevitably, there would be total anarchy.

Standards define the order of the world in which we live. Standards are established, upheld, or compromised by the individual, a representative of the greater whole. Standards, either overtly or covertly, exist within the margins of every relationship or interaction.

Standards, their existence is not optional. Therefore, if you choose not to define them, the other party or parties will, and most often, rarely in your favor. Reduce the chaos utilizing these four cornerstones of sensible standards.

Define – Identify the values you seek in the company you keep. As an indicator of the values that matter most, examine your most cherished relationships closely as compared to those you have abandoned. Your standard already exists. By clearly articulating the values, for example, authenticity, forthrightness, fairness, and trustworthiness, you can better identify those that now and in the future best exemplify those values while aiming away from those that don’t.

Communication – Upon formulating a standard, it’s then time to convey it to those around you. The sooner the better. Remember, Clarity Is Kindness. Through communicating the values and standards within which you operate, individuals can self-deselect themselves from your circle. This is not a bad thing! It allows additional space for those who fall within your standards.

Commit – Standards, really there are only two choices. You either commit to only cultivating relationships and associations that fall within the standards that you have defined and communicated, or you lower your standards, thereby consigned to taking what someone else has imposed upon you. Often, perplexed, the individual finds themselves in relationships and scenarios where they feel hurt. As it is always easier to point the proverbial finger in another direction, it's less effortless, although necessary, to redirect the finger at oneself realizing the fault is their own for accepting less than their ideal standard, hence redefining thus reestablishing the standard all together. “The Fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves.”

Conditional Compromise – While strict compliance to one’s standards is not always achievable (don’t excuse yourself so easily, compliance to the standard is always achievable); compromise does not necessarily mean that the standards must be res-established. A conditional compromise occurs, where a compromise is communicated to the other party and conditions for the compromise are indicated as to why the standard was temporarily changed. WARNING – What about those times when??? Well, I’m not providing a comforting and reassuring excuse for you. Compromising your standard should only occur with the appropriate awareness and consideration of the second and third-order consequences. The price paid for the compromise equals the merits of your standard. In other words, why have a standard if it can be compromised? Take, for example, The Constitution of the United States. When one tiny constitutional protection is hindered or lawfully obstructed, it is the first big step back toward chaos. It is not about the tiny hindrance, it is about the structural integrity of the whole.

The foundation of our knowledge and experiences is built from and protected by standards. When we practice setting standards for our own lives, we are more apt and prepared to uphold the structural integrity of all standards upon which order is created.

By preventing chaos in our individual lives, we also thwart it in our surroundings. ?