Is It Good To Marry Out Of Pity: here is what I learned.

I felt a mix of pity and guilt on my wedding eve, my mind tells me I am about to marry him out of pity. I was guilty because I know I will definitely be cheating on this man whom I have spent over 3 years of my life dating. I feel pity because I know he has invested so much in the relationship and I can’t just leave him without hating myself for been mean to someone who loves and deeply cares about me. Read?most important things to look out for before saying ‘I do”

Before I Married my husband

When I met my husband, I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore, I just wanted to be married. I met my husband at a point in my life when I wouldn’t just reject any suitor that comes my way. I was already 26 years old and my younger sister was already married with a son, although there wasn’t any evident pressure on me to settle down, I was just not comfortable with it, coupled with the fact that I wasn’t in any serious relationship, so I was hoping and praying a man finds me.

My husband is a person of mixed personality he is neither calm nor loud I would describe him as an extrovert, but he is loud when a shot of alcohol is mixed with his bloodstream, then he can be very obnoxious.

How i met my husband

We met at a bakery shop and in barely 2 weeks of the meeting, we started?dating. I used to be the type with a list of characteristics I want my man to have but surprisingly in his case they didn’t matter. It just happens that I want a companion so bad.

It didn’t matter that I have dreams and visions and I want someone who would give me the needed support to achieve them. It also didn’t matter that I love someone of entrepreneurial mind with great leadership skills that I can be confident will lead the family we create.

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By the time we were ready to finally get married, we had saved up and we had a beautiful wedding, but before the wedding anytime I stopped to think if I was making a bad decision, I would console myself by saying but he loves me, I was just carried away by the moment.

I don’t believe in love

I have never really believed in love, I rather believe in what I see, I believe in the person I am with to do right by building and supporting me to be the person I have always wanted to be, I know its not their responsibility but that is love to me and that is my love language. The true meaning of?love in a relationship?is to complete each other

My marriage was going on well or at least went on well until I met a man on one of my business trips to onboard a remote team at work. He showed me the care I wanted concerning my career, whenever we sat to discuss, the conversations made more sense to me than the boring sermon I would always get from my husband about how much he loves me and cherish me.

How i realized i married out of pity

I started to develop affection for the new man, maybe because he cared about my growth or he was just a sweet person. I was livid about what has come over me, this is me as a married woman, in a contract, not a relationship I can check in and out however I please.

This feeling grew that I started to find my husband boring and unintelligent. my newfound friend is taking my heart and I have barely spent two years in my marriage.?I found an old diary of mine and I saw a place I wrote the top 5 characteristics my husband must have. There I found out I had missed it, I had married out of pity and now I am in love with another man.

Man and woman sitting on a couch

I was carried away by the attention I was getting, I didn’t realize I was not growing in certain areas of my that would make me achieve the dreams I have in mind for myself and my future.

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