Is it a good idea to give negative feedback to your boss?

At some time or another, you will feel annoyed, irritated, aggravated, anxious or betrayed by your boss. When that happens, should you let them know, with a goal of improving your future relationship? Or should you suck it up and hope they transfer elsewhere to terrorize someone else? The answer (perhaps not surprisingly) is “It depends.”

It depends on honest answers to these three questions.

• Are you sure you are not blowing the situation out of proportion? Does this happen repeatedly or is it a one-time occurrence in difficult circumstances? Even bosses are entitled to have bad days.
• Is there a possibility of change? If you raise the situation respectfully, and in a way that minimizes the likelihood of defensiveness, is there a greater than 50-per-cent chance your boss will do things differently next time?
• Do the benefits outweigh the costs? In other words, how important is this to you? Is a conversation likely to improve things, or will it contribute to a deterioration in your relationship?

If the answer to even one of these questions is “no,” you might want to bite your tongue and find an alternate – trusted – person and vent to them. But if all three answers are “yes,” then you should give negative feedback to your boss. But it needs to be done with tact and finesse.

The first thing to keep in mind is to have the conversation as soon as possible after the event prompting it. The longer you wait, the more it will fade into the recesses of your manager’s mind, and the lesser the likelihood of a positive outcome for you.

The conversation should always be in private; this is not a dialogue to have in a public setting. Schedule 15 minutes in your boss’s calendar. It not only ensures privacy, but it also demonstrates that you consider this subject to be important. Title the meeting “Feedback on yesterday’s sales meeting,” rather than something vague like “Update.”

Ideally, you want to speak to them in person. If face-to-face is not possible ...

This was originally published as one of my regular columns in The Globe and Mail on March 3, 2023. If you have a subscription, you can read the rest on their site here: https://bit.ly/3MNnlnD . And if you don't, a pdf version is archived here: https://www.turningmanagersintoleaders.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/GM_ManagementOnline_030323.pdf