Not Good But Great

How to become free from tyranny.

Not Good But Great

How would you like to feel better after reading/listening to this to the end?  If you’re thinking, “That’d be great,” we share the same intention.

I’m hoping you’re like me, and if you are, you’re heading for a breakthrough – not a breakdown.

I’m going to shift to occasional ‘we’ language now ‘as if’ you ARE like me and we share a lot in common.

• We’ve always wanted to be good – good people – but somehow it doesn’t always work out.
• We’ve always wanted to be brave – but we are often frightened and full of self-doubt.
• We wish we’d been the beautiful person at school – but were often (more often) celebrated for our ‘bubbly personality’ or sense of humour!

Are we still together on this?  One out of three, two out of three, or how about three out of three?

Good! (Even, 'Great'!) 

Let’s recognise that we are in good company – from fictional sinners to factual saints.  Perhaps ‘sinner’ is unfair, but Jack Nicholson in “As Good As It Gets” plays a deeply troubled soul, Melvin Udall.  Melvin suffers from Obsessive-Compulsive behaviours – and writes romance novels for a living!  Falling in love with compassionate waitress, Carol Connelly – played exquisitely by Helen Hunt – he utters the famous line:

“You make me want to be a better man.”

Love can do that to a person!

Love brings out the best in all of us.

A famous saint and also another writer, the Apostle Paul, put his own frustrated ambition this way,

“For I know that in me, that is, in my flesh, dwells no good thing. For desire is present with me, but I don’t find it doing that which is good.  For the good which I desire, I don’t do; but the evil which I don’t desire, that I practice….”

And he goes on…

“What a wretched man I am! Who will deliver me out of the body of this death?”

[See Romans 7 verses 18-19, 24]

That doesn’t sound very positive, does it?

• Paul needed a breakthrough.
• Melvin found his.
• I’ve had a breakthrough.

Together, we are going to have a breakthrough.

There’s been a lot of them over the last few months and this extended crisis is amplifying them, magnifying them.

Much of it comes down to understanding my dark side or what Carl Jung called the Shadow.  His teaching has been of enormous comfort to me because I’ve concluded that everyone I know – yes, everyone – even you, dear listener - has a dark side.  I’ve been trying to be a ‘good boy’ since childhood under the merciless regime of my tyrannical mother!

[God rest her soul…]

For Melvin, this Dark Side included the compulsion to obsessive behaviours – mixed with a dash of racism, misogyny, and homophobia.  For the Apostle Paul, this Dark Side is named ‘the flesh’ and is rejected as evil.  I’m beginning to wonder if Jung’s approach is a happier and healthier one.  For him, no progress can be made until we accept that unwanted, unacknowledged part of ourselves and integrate it in a productive way in to our personality.  Paul, branding it ‘the flesh’ makes it our enemy – pretty standard Christian doctrine for millennia!  It also makes us feel ‘bad’ because it’s not going anywhere!  It’s going to be a constant travelling companion until we graduate to a higher level!

Paul shouts ‘crucify’ it; Jung says ‘integrate’ it!  What is most fascinating for me is that Jung’s path offers a route to becoming less judgmental, more kind, and more compassionate – surely noble Christian ambitions?  Once we accept that we, too, are capable of terrible thoughts and intentions, and thus actions, we can show far more compassion to others.

“There, but for the Grace of God, go I.”

[For more on this phrase check out the links below...]

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/there_but_for_the_grace_of_God_go_I

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Bradford

The writer of the book of Hebrews makes this point about Jesus Who was, and I quote, ‘tempted in every way such as we are’ – resulting in Him being able to understand what we wrestle with, and thus be touched with compassion.

“For we don’t have a high priest who can’t be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but one who has been in all points tempted like we are, yet without sin.”

[Hebrews 4:15]

There are dark matters in the human psyche but that doesn’t mean we have to act on them.  Acknowledging them means we can have more compassion and even forgiveness towards others, and we can ‘grow up’ as people ourselves.  One of my favourite stories is of the destruction of bigotry.

Would you like to hear it? 

The Writing In The Dust

A woman was caught in the act of adultery.  Notice it was the woman who was dragged in front of the mob, not the man.  If you were caught in the act of adultery, you’d think it would take two to Tango, wouldn’t you?  Anyway, the culture of the time was toxic, anti-Christ, and contrary to the Scriptures the religious people are about to invoke!

Here’s the story… [John 8:1-11]

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman taken in adultery. Having set her in the middle, they told him, “Teacher, we found this woman in adultery, in the very act. Now in our law, Moses commanded us to stone such women*.  [We’ll come back to that in a minute because that is not true.]  What, then, do you say about her?” They said this testing Him, that they might have something to accuse Him of.

But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger. 

But when they continued asking Him, He looked up and said to them, 

“He who is without sin among you, let him throw the first stone at her.” 

Again, He stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger.

They, when they heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning from the oldest, even to the last. 

Jesus was left alone with the woman where she was, in the middle. 

Jesus, standing up, saw her and said, “Woman, where are your accusers? Did no one condemn you?”

She said, “No one, Lord.”

Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way. From now on, sin no more.”

And if you believe in the devil...

Just a thought here for those of us who believe in the devil too.

The accuser of the brethren is one description used of satan [Revelations 12:9-11]

When you sense the devil accusing you of being a jerk, it really helps to quote Jesus:

“He who is without sin, throw the first stone.”

The original sinner (which was the devil, not Adam) has no moral grounds to condemn you whatsoever!

I’d also be tempted (pun intended) to answer back, “Compared with whom?”

Is the Bible anti-women?

For those of you concerned about the Bible being anti-women, nothing could be further from the truth.  Even the Scriptures the religious leaders are misrepresenting are very clear that BOTH partners are to be dealt with.  Jesus was equally very clear about raising the status of women in society.  Society was toxic, not the Scriptures.

What did Jesus write in the dust?

And yet there is so much more to this record of what happened.  This drama would have unfolded over a long, protracted period of time.  Jesus had risen very early in the morning and had gone into the Temple to teach.  A crowd had gathered – a crowd, not 15 people!  The whole crowd dispersed as Jesus continued to write in the dust.

What did He write?

Many commentators believe He wrote a list of sins that those in the audience had committed.  

• Theft,
• Murder,
• Greed,
• Avarice,
• Envy,
• Slander,
• False-witness?  

Whatever the words were, the combination of the woman’s plight and the conviction of their own hearts, drawn attention to by what He was writing, worked wonders as great as any physical miracle.  

The greatest miracle is a change of heart.

Convicted, they all went, beginning from the oldest there present right through to the young.

We can pick up again  the theme of dealing with the darkness!  We’ve all got it!  The wonderful Apostle John said,

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”

[1 John 1:8]  

John is writing to believers

[see 1 John 5:13].

My Truth

Frankly, personally, I haven’t had much success at being a ‘good’ chap.  And I’m hoping you haven’t been very ‘good’ at being a ‘good girl’ or a ‘good boy’ either!  Why?  Because we’re conning ourselves about what we are capable of.  Far better to have a realistic appraisal of our true nature.

Bono from U2 puts it powerfully when he sings,

I have spoken with the tongue of angels 

I have held the hand of a devil 

It was warm in the night 

I was cold as a stone

[That’s from the song, “I Still Haven’t Found What I Am Looking For.”

Now that I know far more about the darkness inside me, it can blooming well stay there – acknowledged, respected, but unexpressed!  My Dr Jekyll can keep Mr Hyde under control! My Shadow doesn’t have to leak out in that horrible critical spirit that most ‘good’ people harbour… The ‘holier than thou’ are usually ‘darker than most’!

I’ve made a commitment.  I’ve realised I’ll never be the ‘good boy’ I thought I ought to be, but I can become ‘great’.  I didn’t vote for Boris, and I’m pretty sure he’s not a good boy either, but he’s becoming a great leader.  President Trump has certainly got an interesting history that would probably preclude him from being described as having been a ‘good boy’ but he’s doing a great job.  And, sorry, but I’m no Royalist – nevertheless, I’m a fan of the ‘great’ job Her Majesty does.

We may not be good, but we can be great.

Attractive, not beautiful

What about not being the beautiful kid on the block?  What about not being picked for the team – or being last to be picked?  What about not being popular?  What about not being to Prom Queen or the Prom King?  What about not being Captain of the team?

I get it at last after a long look in the mirror: I’m never going to be the ‘beautiful boy’ or the ‘beautiful girl’.  But I’m going to become more like Dale and Amanda at work (not to say they aren’t beautiful).  Both of them give me such a warm welcome at work that I feel like a prince.  As such, they are both massively ‘attractive’.  We may (or may not) be beautiful, but we can be attractive and make others feel great.

It’s fascinating that Jesus is described as having no outward appearance that we would find beautiful… and yet children flocked to Him.  This means He was extremely attractive.

I think truly attractive people make us feel good about ourselves, which is why they are good to be around, whereas beautiful people can make us feel envious, we can admire them, we can want to be like them, but we feel less than them.

Attractive people make others feel great.

[That's why you and I are attracted to them!]

Coach Kim

And before I draw to a conclusion, I want to say, I wouldn’t have had the breakthroughs I hope you are going to enjoy too unless I had spent time with my coach, Kim Searle.  Let Kim help you “Be More You!”

Courageous, not brave

And as for being brave – I think it is over-rated.  I choose ‘courage’ instead.  Courage can act when we still feel like wetting ourselves with fear.  Courage is action from the heart.

Being More Us

That’s us then:

Not bold but courageous;

Not beautiful but attractive;

Not good but becoming heroes.

Yes, maybe not ‘good’ but definitely ‘great’!