Good enough

How is your summer going so far?

Mine feels fragmented.

Pockets of joy, but also pockets of tissue that got shredded in the tumble dryer!

It's as though nothing gets my focus:

• work
• relationships
• house

And yet, I recognise that I am actually (still) doing a 'good enough' job.

The notion of good enough is a theme in several psychological theories.

British Psychologist and attachment theory pioneer John Bowlby asserted that a mother didn't have to be perfect to have secure attachment with her child.

From my own personal experience, together with that of many of my clients; it doesn't always feel this way.

Particularly in the school holidays!

When I was working full time in the technology sector, it rarely felt like this.

Arguably, Bowlby was influenced by this quote (widely attributed to Voltaire)

'Perfect is the enemy of the good'.

As a case in point, I have just finished creating my first online course:

'Coaching Dynamics in Therapy: Maximising Client Growth'

The origin of this course came from a talk I did at the BACP Making Connections Conference in Manchester in February 2024.

I then met with my good friends and workshop facilitator gurus Joe & Gemma Wilde.

Together, we spent half a day defining a number of potential courses and workshops for me to focus on developing.

In this workshop, for every potential offering we all wrote down the reasons 'why me'?

Joe: who has a background in consulting - and Gemma: who has a background in user experience - were aligned in writing down SO many things about what I have to offer in creating course content.

I didn't see this. Because I had lots of counter arguments about why I am not 'the best'.

In June, I was a guest on the BACP's 'Insights podcast' with the lovely Grace Mansah-Owusu.

And to be fully transparent, this was the first time where I actually thought that I might know what I am talking about! That I might actually be good enough. To create a course that could be useful to my colleagues.

Having both worked in, and coached startup founders; I am familiar with the notion of a 'minimum viable product'. The purpose of an MVP is to waste as little time and effort before launching a product to get feedback. Feedback which influences subsequent iterations and improvements.

American Psychologist and founder of Person Centred Psychotherapy Carl Rogers asserted that there is a desire present in all living things to push towards growth. He said:

'In the case of humans, we all want to express ourselves creatively and reach our full potential."

Herein lies the rub!

I want to accept that I don't need to be perfect, and that good enough is generally sufficient WHILST AT THE SAME TIME reaching my full potential!

That's what made it so difficult for me to finally take the plunge and release the course.

But here's the thing.

My time working in the tech sector made me resilient.

The systems design concept of 'fail fast', was highly relatable to working in sales.

Qualify out when you know you can't win. But when you qualify in, see it through and secure the deal.

I'm going to continue to navigate the summer holidays with the following dual strategy:

• strive for growth
• recognise when I am good enough

Ultimately, if we DON'T embrace being good enough, we are inevitably going to fall short somewhere else in our lives.

This is usually around self care.

I hope these insights help you navigate your summer holidays - whether at work, at home or on holiday.

I'll be posting monthly from now on, so I'll be back with some more insights and tips on how to improve resilience and optimise your mental health in August.

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