Good Death: Chances are you're not prepared for the end. You should be and here's how.

AUSTIN—My friend Jocko passed away unexpectedly just over a year ago, right before his 46th birthday, from hypertensive cardiovascular disease. He was a beacon of light who lived every day to the fullest. A fixture on the social scene, he knew just about everyone in the city and devoted his free time and financial resources to charitable organizations supporting the LGBTQ+ community. He was loved.

What Jocko wasn’t was a life planner. Like nearly a quarter of men in his age group, Jocko was single, and, like more than two-thirds of Americans, he had not made any preparations for his eventual end. So, when he passed away, there was a scramble among friends and family to figure out what to do with his estate and how to honor his wishes, including the difficult decision on his final resting place (he’d converted from Catholicism to Episcopalian without his family’s knowledge). There was no will, no plan, and it was incredibly stressful for all involved.

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According to Gary Wederspahn from the Final Exit Network , what might be holding Americans back from planning for the end is steeped in terror management theory, a psychological concept that explores how humans cope with the existential fear of death. Terror management theory posits that awareness of our mortality can provoke deep anxiety, which we manage by embracing cultural worldviews, belief systems, and values that give life meaning and a sense of lasting legacy. However, it doesn’t spur people into action for end-of-life planning.

And, let’s be real, Americans are notoriously bad at long-term planning, especially for later life. They tend not to prepare adequately for retirement—one out of five people aren’t saved properly, according to AARP—and they most certainly don’t plan for health-related issues that may incapacitate them or for their eventual demise, despite the universal reality that death comes for us all; it’s the one thing we have in common.

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