Good, bad, ugly made you a person you are today

Actually what constitutes being a good person and what constitutes being a bad person? There are lots of ways to answer this question. A bad person lives selfishly with little regard to the thoughts, feelings, needs of other people, even to the point of deliberately doing harm to them to benefit themselves. A good person is considerate of other people's needs, even to the point of sacrificing their own. A bad person takes pleasure in seeing others suffer. They especially like it if they are the one that caused the suffering, and are even proud and will sometimes boast of doing it. A good person is compelled to stop other's suffering.

Selfishness is the key. The more selfish you are, the more wicked you are. There are three states in which a person can stay in. The transition between these states is made possible through a change in human will. The underlying principle is that every person has a certain willpower that he receives in his coming into the world. It is in a person's ability to recognize this willpower, to understand its actions, and to direct them as he likes.

This willpower is a pristine force that can be designed and routed. Naturally, this power tends to serve one's self-interest, but it can be changed to serve the interests of others as well. A person is supposed to undergo three different stages during his life with respect to his willpower. The main factor that defines each stage is the form of will that is manifested within the human soul. As per Judaism the three stages of willpower development are as follows:

First one is the natural egoistic will, receiving for the sake of receiving : When a person is born, there is only one power within him, and it is the desire to receive pleasure for his own benefit, without any consideration for the needs of others. The term "pleasure" refers to the satisfaction of self-interest. This is particularly noticeable in a baby. A baby is interested only in his need to suck milk from his mother, without any awareness or care whether his mother has the time and the power to breastfeed him. This first stage stems from the natural egoism that man has.

This state of will is called the will (desire) to receive (means) in order to receive (a goal). For example: I want money (means) so that I can provide myself with pleasures (the goal). Those who use this power are called "tramples" and, in other words, take care of their pleasure even if it can cause suffering in others. The level of love found in man at this stage is self-love.

This behavior model corresponds to the environment based on the "Jungle Law" whereby the strongest is mounting, and manages to survive by taking over the assets of the weak. Against this social and moral order, most religions and philosophical movements arose, which see it as a morally flawed reality with a built-in potential of self-destruction and evil domination in the world.

The second is social egoistic will, bestowing for the sake of receiving: With the child's development, he reaches the realization that most of his pleasure depends on other persons in fact. He needs the family, especially his father and mother, to provide him with food, clothing, protection and warmth. If he tries to accept the things that are necessary to him through the natural egoistic desire, without taking into account the needs of the other family members, he will receive reproach and anger from the surroundings.

And gradually, he gets the understanding that in order to receive pleasure from others, one must also give others pleasure. The basic education strives to change the person’s egoistic desire to receive, and to give it a new form of social will to receive. To get something you have to obey a basic social norm: give something in return. This second phase is called the egoistic social will.

Moreover, this state of the will is a desire to bestow (means) in order to receive (a goal). For example: I am willing to give money to the seller (means) so that I can buy me pleasure (purpose). One who activates this form of will is called a "merchant," in other words, takes care of his pleasure through the pleasure he gives to others. The level of love found in man at this stage is "love dependent on something."

Any love that is dependent on something--when the thing ceases, the love also ceases. But a love that is not dependent on anything never ceases. What is an example of a love that is dependent on something? The worship of God that is common to most people is based on a system of fear of punishment and desire for reward. In other words, we are also dealing with the Creator as traders in the market who are willing to give to the extent that we will receive reward in this world and in the next world.

And most people move between the first two stages. Sometimes they act like total egoists but often have a cultured "give and take" attitude towards others. A person who is only in the first stage of desire is pushed to the margins of society and suffers from loneliness, or is punished for his numerous violations of the law. A person who acts according to the form of social egoistic will is accepted by the family and the community as a decent and normative person. But as mentioned above, his only motive was and remained self-interest, even if he dresses it in a polite and pleasant manner.

Also on the face of it, the social egoistic desire enables a normal and dignified life, but fulfilling this desire can provide only fleeting pleasures or satisfactions, which require renewed running after satisfying those needs within a short time. In other words, this desire can not bring to the person the feeling of fullness and happiness that he craves at the root of his soul. This is actually the paradox of the existential crisis of Western society. Humanity reached a state of economic and technological development that could not have occurred a hundred years ago. But although affluence satisfies most of the needs of most people, the sense of spiritual emptiness and the search for truth and happiness does not stop and may even intensify.

The third and final is the altruistic spiritual will: to receive in order to bestow. In order to emerge from the realm of egoistic desires (natural and social), man must bring about a revolution in the form of his will. The wisdom of Kabbalah does not preach to cancel the natural will to receive of man because it is the fuel that allows us to achieve pleasure. This does not propose to abolish the egoistic desire, but rather to use it as a means and not as a goal.

Instead of our natural goal (the fulfillment of egotistical interests and needs), we must set a new goal: the good of others. For example a guest comes to the landlord, and the landlord wants to respect him with food, and the guest feels a greater shame. The landlord implored and pleaded with him until the guest saw that he had to eat in order to please the landlord. In this story, the guest agreed to receive in order to bestow, because he used his pleasure (food) to make pleasure for the landlord (who wanted to honor him with the meal). We must turn the desire into a pipe.

And this transition is not at all simple, because it requires work contrary to nature and our habitual power, and it also contradicts accepted social norms. The road is full of retreats and falls, but in every progress and act without self-love, man feels full and inner inner happiness. This transformation leads to a profound change starting from the structure of the human soul, through his outlook on himself, his relationship to the other and to life in general. To a believer, it opens a new way of worshiping God and settling many contradictions and doubts. Cheers!