Golden Rule of Habits

Right out of the gate, I want to emphasize the huge role habits play in our lives (which I completely misunderstood and underestimated). Habits dictate most of our choices in life, and some argue are the basis of our personality or at least identity. For example, if someone has a habit of going for a run every morning, they might say, 'I am a runner'.

Over time our habits become our traits.?Traits become our second nature, representing the distinct ways we think about and respond to a given situation without much conscious thought on our part. A physical trait—like blue eyes or a cleft chin—is something inherently?you.?But when we talk about personal traits and traits in the business world, we’re talking about how your habits have cultivated a trait that’s now a part of?your person.

Habits impact not only our actions but even what thoughts we engage in. I always associated habits with physical action, like the example above, a habit of going for a run or habitually picking up my phone the instant I'm bored. I didn't realize until recently that mindset and thoughts are also habitual.

William James (1890/1950) described people as ‘walking bundles of habits’ . At least a third of what we do and think each day is repetition of an earlier habit and most behaviours and thoughts are composites of habitual and non-habitual decision-making.

Ok, so how do habits impact our thoughts and, thus, behaviors? As an example, let's consider something we all have in common; procrastination. I don't generally consider myself a procrastinator, but I do procrastinate certain tasks repeatedly (a habit). Ironically I procrastinate writing these articles each week. I made a task to develop a draft on Sunday, refine it a bit the next couple days, and publish on Wednesdays. Inevitably Wednesday roles around and I'm like - shit - I better get to writing. (i.e. it's now Thursday morning and I'm just getting to finalizing and publishing...)

It's easier to understand how this happens by looking at the habit loop: A cue or trigger (can be an outside event or even a thought, emotion, or sensation) > that kicks off a routine (the habit pattern we default to when that cue takes place) > followed by a reward (something that signals pleasure in the brain) which reinforces the process and embeds the habit.

The cue of staring at a blank page deciding what to write is anxiety-inducing; add in negative self-talk (it will probably suck, nobody will read it anyway, etc) and the routine of distraction (get a snack, clear email, etc) kicks in to alleviate those unwanted feelings which creates a reward. The process continues week after week...

Procrastination is an easy example. Even self-doubt (which often also leads to procrastination) is a thought habit.

Something difficult comes up, we start a habitual thought response, 'I'm not sure I can do this' and then we choose a more comfortable or familiar routine that has been rewarded. This is what's called self-sabotage. What is actually good for us is trying new things, taking on difficult challenges, and getting started on projects without delay. Still, our habit patterns get us stuck in hesitation, doubt, and procrastination.

The cool thing is there are TONS of research and publications on habits, and plenty of popular books and content (some links below) that demonstrate habit change is kinda simple (though not necessarily 'easy'); enter: the Golden Rule of Habit Change

If you notice habitual thought patterns and behaviors that are self-sabotaging, it's worth looking into the plentiful resources (see examples below) on how to change those - I'll keep the explanation simple: There are times when it's impossible to change the Cue/Trigger, often because it's an external event or random thought. Keeping the reward consistent is helpful because your brain is already conditioned to seek that reward. If you simply swap the routine of a 'bad' or unwanted habit for the habit you want, the loop will complete itself in the same way, and pretty soon, you'll have a new healthy habit!!

“It seems ridiculously simple, but once you’re aware of how your habit works, once you recognize the cues and rewards, you’re halfway to changing it,” Nathan Azrin, one of the developers of habit reversal training. “It seems like it should be more complex. The truth is, the brain can be reprogrammed. You just have to be deliberate about it.”

This is how your mindworx; it develops habits so it can be efficient and run on a program. Use it to your advantage and start swapping routines that hold you back for those that propel you forward, and pretty soon, you'll have a habit of continually improving yourself; imagine what you could do with that habit!!!

Here is a list of my favorite resources to learn more and change habits:

Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule

James Clear Atomic Habits 3-2-1 Newsletter

Charles Duhigg The Power of Habit

BONUS: If you have the habit of looking for shortcuts as I do - the app Imprint has all these books summarized in a visual learning sequence cc: Imprint