Golden nuggets after 6+ years in coaching

Becoming a coach means taking a different route for everyone. For me it has been a 6+ year-long journey which included amazing experiences in three different countries:

?????????-????????: ???????? ?????????????? @ ???????????????????????????? Romania (132 training hours, 117 coaching sessions with clients, 10 mentoring hours, two oral exams and a written exam ending in the ICF ACC certification);

?????????: ?????????????????? ???????????????????? ???????????????? ?????????????? @ ?????????? Romania (360-hour program - 60 live training hours, 120 practice hours, 120 individual study hours, 60 coaching sessions with clients, one written exam ending in the national ANC certification);

?????????: ???????????? ???????????????? - ???????????????? ???????? ???????????????????????????? @ ???????? ???????????? ???????????????????? The Netherlands (7 intensive days of applied coaching through the constellations method);

?????????: ???????????????????? ???????????????? ?????? ?????????????????? ???????????????? @ ???????? ???????????? ???????????????????? The Netherlands(7 intensive days as an assistant in the training team);

?????????: ???????????????????? ???????????????? - ???????????????? ?????? ???????????????? ?????????????????????? @ ???????? ???????????? ????????????????????The Netherlands (7 training days including mixed methods for non-formal education and coaching);

?????????: ???????????????????? ???????????????? ???????????????? @ ?????????????? ?????????? ?????????????????????? Hungary (7 intensive training days including several practice coaching sessions daily, most of them video recorded).

??????????????? (?????????? ????????): ?????????????? ?????????????????? ???????????????????????? ???????????????? ???????????????? @ ?????????????? ?????????????? (blended online synchronous and asynchronous learning of Tony Robbins' coaching methods).

Throughout these years, I have learned valuable lessons about what coaching really means and what it takes to truly help someone. And in this process I also unlearned old ways of seeing the world and thinking, which were not serving me anymore.

Here are some golden nuggets that I would like everybody to get:

?? Coaching is not about domain expertise. It doesn't matter what the coach knows about your field, it matters what the coach can help you do with what you bring into the session. Domain expertise can bring preconceived notions about how things should be done, a false impression of understanding the client's issue before truly listening, coaching the problem instead of the person and an eagerness to provide solutions - all of which go against the spirit of coaching.

?? Coaching is about creating a safe space for attaining awareness, for naming the previously unnamed, for seeing things with new eyes, for finding internal resources and venturing into the future with a clear vision and plan. The coach is not your parent, therapist or teacher, but an equal partner who mirrors you back to yourself so you can finally see what you've been looking for.

?? Coaching has nothing to do with motivational speaking. While it is essential for a coach to believe at their core in every person's potential and to be accepting and supportive throughout the entire coaching relationship, a good coach will never throw shallow motivational quotes at you or wave pom pons like a cheerleader. Unlike in sports coaching, in executive and life coaching we do not shout at people to get them hyped up for the game :) The issue of motivation is dealt with more deeply - by exploring personal beliefs, values, needs and goals. Once the person is clear about these, motivation flows naturally, without the need for cheap artifice.

?? A coach will never conspire with the sponsor (company/employer) to the disadvantage of the client (employee). I was shocked to see lots of vitriol on this topic from people making this assumption. So let me say this loud and clear: no, we - the ICF-accredited coaches who have agreed to strictly abide by the ICF Code of Ethics as an essential condition of being members of this organization - will never work against the client's interests, regardless of what their boss/employer/sponsor does or says:

??A professional coach will never try to influence or manipulate the client to make one decision or another.

??A professional coach will keep clear agreements with all parties involved regarding the disclosure of information and will never disclose anything the client shares without the client's agreement (unless obliged by the law, for example in the case of hearing a crime confession).

??A professional coach will partner with the client and support them throughout their transformation process, even when the client's decisions ultimately affect the sponsor (for example, the client decides the job is not for them and resolves to quit).

There are surely many other takeaways to discuss, but currently these seem key to bringing down the most common misconceptions. Regardless of whether you are a coach yourself or have experienced coaching, I would love to hear your insights.

What does your journey look like and what have you learned?