The Golden Gift of Gratitude

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing.

It makes what is excellent in others

belong to us as well.” ~ Voltaire

Like a lot peers reading this, I've been struggling to keep my head above water. Certainly surviving but not really thriving. As I've been saying when people ask how I'm doing in 2021, "I'm not ok, and that's ok."

One of the things that's been weighing on me, in my groundhog day routine of being cheek to jowl with my family and home schooling kids for months and months is that I haven't had the mental space to share my annual reflection of gratitude - something I want to do organically and not force. Today, the kids went back to school. I've taken the day off to enjoy a little peace and quiet. And in that silence indeed, here, waiting for me are all my notes from my December retreat - and this year's "Golden Crabs".

What is a "Golden Crab" you ask?

For those of you who know me, I hope by now after ten years of my weird posts you know that I have an annual tradition of telling four people who have made my year not just successful but fun, productive and from whom I've gained and learned much and who I deeply admire for not just what they do for me, but the world.

Ten years?! Yup, feel free to peruse posts from 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012 , 2011 and the first year in 2010 to see who these special people are.

But you know so many people Paul, why single out four? Straight up, both for spiritual and practical reasons, I don't want to leave this earth just telling my family I love them. I want people who have stuck their neck out for me, who have extended a hand, who have conquered in quiet humility to know that I think they're the best humans I know. This award has no real monetary or prestige value, just my undying loyalty, admiration and gratitude.

What does that mean? Well why don't I just show you and introduce you to this year's MVP's of awesomeness. Starting with:

Diane Laundy

As part of my personal retreat each winter and summer I try my best to walk backwards through my year and now the past two decades to map out where powerful moments and where certain stories started. It's no secret that after 21 years of membership, two decades of volunteering and now being full time at CAGP that this community is my home. But how does community form? Before there was full time staff, a national office, when the association launched over 27 years ago we started gathering for conferences to advance conversations, consistent curriculum and indeed build community. Diane Laundy has been the eye in the centre of this logistical storm for over 20 years!

So what does that have to do with me? In reflecting on 2020 and many of the struggles I've been facing professionally and even personally I meditated on the people who have helped me build resilience, who have modelled the integrity and attitude that I aspire to. Who do you think of when you think wedding or conference planner? I think of all the headset-screaming high strung stereotypes from the movies. And in 20 years of knowing Diane, I have yet to see her raise her voice once. A calm presence in always frantic days I've been to 17 conferences in my 20 years volunteering with the association. And in my reflections I remembered several pivotal conversations with Diane at key strategic moments in my life. I reflected on a hard year when I was struggling with the condescension of my peers ( when I was passionate about social media and most charity executives treated it like baby toys and me like a na?ve child) and Diane gave me a place and a platform in our community at our conferences. And in more recent years Diane has kindly shared with me more secrets about how to bring laser focus during something like a conference, and how to be a whole human with other passions and skills to bring to the table ( as I've said many times, the future, put well by Dorie Clark isn't in one job but a portfolio career ). After 20 years together as our journey evolves, I needed to take a moment and thank someone who has quietly influenced me and taught me so much by simply doing what she does and being who she is.

Tania Little

No one can deny that of the many unprecedented things that happened in 2020, that the Covidian winds filled the sails of food banks across Canada. It was both a moment of unbelievable prosperity and also great conflict. Not just because the needs were still greater than the unending generosity but because in a year of both racial reflection and in consideration of how we might build back better, the modern food bank also became a lighting rod for all that is "bad" in doing good. Add to that that the fickle love of corporations favoured food banks and they knocked on Tania's team's door in the thousands, without hyperbole, the thousands.

Now, I've known Tania for many years. I first met her as a very young fundraiser sitting in the cheap seats at AFP Congress, Canada's largest fundraising conference and watching her up on stage with the energy of an absolute rockstar. Over a decade later, we got to spend more time together as she entered a strategic education and reflection stage of her career as I travelled the country visiting dozens of food banks with CanadaHelps, she generosity shared her journey and held space for me to learn alongside her. Even more recently let me share that her wisdom has helped me deeply as I struggled at times at what fundraising and career can do to a family. A conversation I have had with only a few people on earth (all Golden Crabs of course) because of the armour I wear constantly (I'm working on it).

But here's the thing too. Maybe a theme for this year is "Grace". Tania took this storm, head on, dealt with the noise good and bad ( and there was plenty of both ) with incredible Grace and the focus on doing good; not winning, not being right, but staying focused. Even when she won a pretty prestigious honour ( Globe & Mail top executives of the year ) that too was accepted with a quiet nod. Lastly, what floored me is that in the middle of all of this like a very small and deeply appreciated few, Tania made time to check in and even reach out to me when I was struggling the most. Summiting Everest, she made time to text. Few humans posses this care at the core of their character. Those of you who know me know how to read the Twitter GIF cries for help :)

I'm just in awe and hope if I am ever called to live through a year like this I can do so and represent some of the best a profession has to offer, and the best a person can be.

Allen Davidov

After ten years of this odd gratitude experiment I now have my sights and hopes set on several people in this world who I would like to be Golden Crabs. I'm humbled that a few peers have even told me they have their sights on the award themselves.

Allen is one of these people who I have thought "that is a cool dude, who has imagination, style, commitment to his craft, dedication to his career, love for his family and conducts himself like a gentleman" - I'd like to play with him one day on the schoolyard that is our professional community.

Maybe you noticed yes that this year our two organizations collaborated quite significantly - but that is NOT why Allen is a Golden Crab. In fact I reached out to him a few years ago and said "I'm worried that we're going to be engaged professionally soon in a way that will make being truly connected peers a challenge, dude we got to get up to some trouble soon". Luckily another Golden Crab, David Kravichuk made that possible with his Western Canada Fundraising Conference, a gathering that is more like a fundraising festival than a conference. And this year, we started to think together more. Allen quietly started a podcast club where a number of us gather on quiet evenings to talk about a collective podcast chosen by one of the group. We even got a couple socially distanced netwalks in and are now helping mentor peers in our shared networks. There is magic in our future, for now I'm grateful for the present.

Rickesh Lakhani

This is a peer who I've been around for many years. Introduced well over a decade ago by original Golden Crab inductee Ann Rosenfield, we hit it off right away. And we've collaborated on things like "Be Good Be Social" with another GC, Clare Levy who is now a part of my own team.

But always once removed and never really in direct collaboration.

This year was a year that was so powerfully improved on so many levels by finally breaking that barrier and spending time collaborating, creating and conspiring, together. Another theme you'll notice is that while I seek out dynamic social-good troublemakers, I don't believe that being abrasive, corrosive or hurtful needs to be a character trait in my network. Especially the men in my network. This should surprise you with my pocket squares and netwalking, I would like to know more gentlemen who seek to serve social-good. And Rickesh is truly first among them.

Even in Covid, we made time to connect and make conversations happen. One of the challenges of pandemic networking is that there is no longer room for the organic, we must create energy to connect. And Rickesh did that on several platforms, in several places this year. I'm grateful to have a peer to stand beside during this storm who shares so many of the same struggles but also many different challenges I can learn from.

Part of being a Golden Crab is pushing past my armour and defenses to find a way to play, create and collaborate. And too, letting me in, to be a part of your personal success, struggles and learning. This sounds simple but, by Crumm, it's one of the most complex things in human interpersonal dynamics in my entire world.

These are my dreams for us dear reader. I've crossed 44 Golden Crabs but I want to find more people to change the world with. Whose world I can change for the better, and who will push me to up my game too.

Did you make it this far? Have you figured out that I'm a lonely dork who is just trying to find people like me in the universe? People to look up to, people whose ambition and aspiration I can attach my own to? People who will let me help when the rest of the world says "you're a weirdo Nazareth, please don't sit beside me on the sector school bus".

There are many of you who helped me survive this year. Shoutouts go to peers like Darren Pries Klassen who cares so deeply for our profession and made time to connect at a critical moment of the pandemic for one of the most helpful strategic conversations of my whole year. My team member Laurie Fox, who I have jokingly shared with her that I learned a lot about working with someone who is borderline dangerously obsessed with a goal - that isn't me! People have told me about the fire and heat my passion for our profession creates, but I never truly worked beside someone like this until now (I often describe Laurie in the same way as many describe the character John Wick ) and it's that white hot focus that helped create Will Power, what many will come to know soon as a national treasure.

And you.

You dear reader, if you're reading this I hope that if we're 1st connections you keep in touch and tell me how I can help you this year. Have you ever heard the phrase:

We rise by lifting others.

Well this is a mantra for me, and too, medicine. When I'm stuck I get unstuck by helping peers, by lifting them up and serving the best in them. This is how I bring light to the dark, in my world and the world. I hope this year I can help you too.

I wish you all the best in 2021. Whether it's introducing you to someone you can add to your mentor board of personal directors ( here's a podcast unpacking this further ), or expanding your network into new industries and along different ideas - big thanks to GC Kimberley Mackenzie for helping me get out of my funk too and launch a new podcast where we talk about things we're not hearing anywhere else in our sector ( called, "The Intersection Hub", coming soon) - or nominating you for an industry or sector award ( I have an annual goal to do this for at least 30 peers in my primary network, can I do this for you this year? ).

To everyone in my primary network, please know, I don't exist without you and I'm grateful for everything you do for me, and everything you LET me do for you ( this is also generosity, a reminder ). Thank you. Paul Nazareth