The Golden Arches

“A good friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.”?— Irish Proverb

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For centuries now - as legend has it - that Leprechauns really do exist - even in 2022.

Although Leprechauns are of direct Irish descent, reports continue to pour in of their sightings from all over the five (5) continents, especially when Neapolitan rainbows magically appear.?

When Leprechauns are spotted - they’re all dressed and look pretty much alike.

They’re 2 to 3 feet tall with tousled hair & pointed ears like Mr. Spock's - with mischievous eyes under shaggy red eyebrows with over-sized noses and cheeks, all on a clean-shaven encircling face, except for an overgrown soul patch on his protruding chin. Their little fingers specialize and are dedicated towards the art of pinching.?

Don’t you dare ever mix up Leprechauns with bare-footed hobbits!

Otherwise, you’ll be in for 25 years of bad Irish luck.

Leprechauns are usually seen in gray or green colord coats, red trousers, studded leather aprons, brass buckle shoes topped off with a red or green wide brimmed hat. Just look at their mug shot on the brightly colored cereal boxes at your favorite Wal-Mart.

Their chosen trade is that of a cobbler/shoemaker.

If you ever hear the distant sounds of a hammer; it just may be an industrious little fellow hammering out a pair of new shoes. They say an unsuspecting Leprechaun can be found with a hammer in one hand and a shoe in the other.

These petite pygmy sprites dwell in dusty Norman Rockwell styled farmhouses, noir wine cellars and other remote places where cobwebs and spiders assemble on wooden rafters.?

For recreation, Leprechauns like to hide themselves behind trees, bushes and hedgerows and play peek-a-boo with us mortals.

Despite their physical stubbiness, they can move extraordinarily fast when necessary.?

They’re synonymous with marshmallow rainbows, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds, and cobble-stone streets.

By nature, leprechauns are said to be ill mannered, impatient, naughty and mischievous with cunning/sneaky minds. They’re certainly not the originator of mistletoe - but - they’re as attractive as catnip is to a cat - to us money hungry mortal$.

They’re fond of a mug or two of a strong Irish homemade brew aptly called “poteen,” and can be found more times than naught in an insignificant/non-threatening intoxicated state with a long clay pipe that habitually curls upwards in the palm of their tiny hands.

They’ve been known to procure their way out of tight situations with mortals and are alleged to carry two leather pouches tied to their belt.?

In one pocket; a silver shilling, the other; a magical gold coin, which usually turns into leaves or ashes once the Leprechaun has parted with it.?

Leprechauns are self-appointed guardians of ancient treasure troves, left there as ancient legend has it, by rouge Danish Viking Giants when they marauded through Island after Island eons and eons ago.?

If caught with an over-sized butterfly net, Leprechauns are usually forced to reveal the whereabouts of their buried treasure.

The captor(s) must always be vigilant and keep an eye on them little rascals every nanosecond.?In a blink of an eye - Leprechauns have a disappearing act reminiscent of the late but great Houdini.?

The presence of colorful rainbows alerts us mortals to the proximity of the leprechauns gold hordes.

Rainbows always cause Leprechauns great apprehension and anxiety for no matter how fast they move their stashes of gold - they can never completely stay up with the air-borne rainbows.

Every year in March when I take my walks along the ocean bluffs at California State Beach at San Onofore, I imagine what might be behind that tree, bush or hedgerow whenever I hear something a'rustling.?

I’ve yet to spot a Leprechaun in live-living-color.

However - whenever there is a light rain falling and the suns rays begin streaking through the clouds and a rainbow begins to arch its silent coloring for all to witness - I peer through my binoculars to see where the colorful bow has gently and silently landed.?

Unfortunately for me, my rub of Irish luck has but yielded a Golden Arch selling Chicken McNuggets and a frosty-green Shamrock shake for a limited time only - at that.

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Beginning next Wednesday, Mar. 23, 2022, I'll begin posting a 15-part series of one-a-week blogs that shall describe a generic HACCP System for Beef Harvesting (Slaughter) - A step-by-step description as per the Beef Harvesting Flow Chart pictured.?

I'll still post other blogs each week along with the 15-part Beef Harvesting series - and - I'm keeping each individual blog to no more than 800 words or less.