Going on Sabbatical...

My thinking on leadership has evolved following a 5 month Sabbatical break.

Ok, not evolved. I’ve been through something over the past 18 months and I’m irrevocably changed.?I’m getting comfortable with modelling proactive management of mental health, and I've subtlety shifted my definition of success: my top priority is to see the business succeed and to fulfill our social mission - regardless of my role in it.?

Easy words to type, humbling to live. ?

The shocking thing is, I’m so much happier (and less surprisingly, I’m certain our social enterprise is the better for it!).

This post explores a little about the what and why.

Quick recap:

I co-founded Inclusiv Education , a social enterprise, in 2018 and have just returned to the business in a different, part-time role after a 5-month Sabbatical break.

I decided to take this break after confronting the reality that I really was not ok. My normally fast brain was overwhelmed with just too much, well, everything... Supporting team-mates though Covid-induced trauma, plugging process gaps in a growing enterprise, stepping in and stepping up and dealing with setbacks. As my mental health began to deteriorate, I started to share my struggles with people I trusted, and eventually my board. It was clear something needed to change both for me to get back to my best (ok, more honestly, to get out of the mental danger zone and be able to function again) and something needed to change in the way we resourced the leadership of our business.

I'm going to share how my family and I spent this time, changes we’ve made at Inclusiv and in a followup post, I’ll write more for people who maybe are going through something similar and share tips for taking a sabbatical break as a company founder.

But first to the question you'll be asking - what happened, Steve?

No Filter:?

So, I took a 5 month Sabbatical break. A circuit breaker. The awesome Susie (my wife and life partner) and I planned something of a recovery program.

Before we set off for 3 months caravan travel across the desert and up Australia's western coast, I interviewed our 3 children.?Tas, our eldest, has always wanted to be a YouTube star and he didn't disappoint!?Tas, like our other two children, is on the Autism spectrum. He has deep interests and astounding knowledge in a narrow range of topics and he LOVES TO TALK - unfiltered!

He was being his usual excitable story telling self when I posed the question: "why are we going on this holiday?"?

His answer took my breath away, and confirmed in my mind that I was doing the right thi by stepping back from leading the social enterprise I had founded:?

Qu: What is the main reason for the trip? ?

A: Tas (9 yo) "For Daddy's Joy, and wanting for family time... and partly me, because I said he needed a break from work, because I'm worried, about him, becoming like, a work addict."?

?

Playing hurt:?

He was right, as kids often are.?So why didn’t I slow down? Why don’t WE slow down when we need to?

There are so many fields of work where we can justify just pushing on - even when our bodies are telling us we're no longer ok and that something needs to give.

I'm not sure when waking up during the night with a brilliant idea turned into unhealthy ruminating on things I couldn't possibly change whilst half asleep, let alone whilst awake. Or when daydreaming about different way to do things whilst in the shower turned into anxious dreams - but it did.

From inspiration to anxiety... Once your sleep goes, things get twice as hard to manage.

But I'd learned from other entrepreneurs that a lot of people who have succeeded in business were simply the last to 'give up'. So I kept working at it. Compounding this, those who are health professionals, educators, business founders, social welfare workers - and any other values-based profession can fall victim to the thinking that others need us - so it's ok to ignore the signs and feedback – not recognising that actually, the more we just keep 'playing hurt' (to borrow a football metaphor), the more likely it is that for at least some of the time, we're really not helping anyone.

It’s a conceited idea, but for all the right reasons.

Watt on Earth?!?

My family and I travelled 10,900km in our off-grid caravan. We swam, snorkeled, camped right on the beach, visited national parks and museums - the kids saw fossils, crashed space craft, an outdoor aquarium and had so many amazing experiences.?

Standing on the beach at dawn with a fishing rod in my hand gave me time to process and decompress. I’d like to say the total lack of bites on the line was part of my therapy – it gave maybe too much time for reflection, but it was serene none the less. Then the kids would wake up..

I helped the kids run a YouTube channel which celebrates their unique neurodiverse perspective.?I grew so much closer to my children and grew to realise just how much they needed their dad in their lives.?

Growing up for kids on the Autism spectrum is extra hard - when you have trouble reading social cues, regulating your own emotions, or managing even the simplest of transitions like going from watching TV to settling at the dinner table - life can be bewildering and energy sapping. My kids need highly engaged parents and it's a role that I’ve always wanted to play, but I was growing to resent not having the time or mental energy for on an increasing basis.

During my break I listened to podcasts on being a better father, supporting learning for kids on the autism spectrum. I read up on Schema Therapy and worked through the CBT self reflections in the Calm app (which I can highly recommend).

On a 5 week break at home (so the kids to go back to school), I built a new kitchen / dining room where we spend so much time. ?Plus I spent time on our farm doing jobs that have been on lists for years.

I'm so grateful for this time.

I did work with a counsellor and then a psych and I was more open and trusting of my friends and family. I’ll write more about that in the follow-up post.

I'm back:?

I've come back to our work 3 days a week and with a clear plan to reduce my energy depleters and maximise my energisers.?

Depleters:

Less operational management, less people management and less reliance on me for effectively navigating the world of international development.

Energisers:

I'm spending more time on things that support our family: Reading with my youngest before the school bell, supporting all of the kids with regular reading or spelling, supporting my kids when they (inevitably) have to deal with 'mean kids' or with the school councilor or principal, getting involved with school governing council, being present at meal times. My kids live the full emotional spectrum but often have trouble making sense of it or being understood. Taking time to hold and be with a child who is upset is often the only way to get through that emotional tunnel to a point where you can help make sense of it all with them once emotions have calmed. I’m supporting their school now through the governing council as well.

Protecting this time for my children is a higher priority for me coming back from my break. I know they’ll grow up fast…

I'm working on more projects on the farm and on our home that will make our lives better. Attending to our fruit orchard (so much mulch!!), installing a solar powered water pump and dozens of other projects - sustainability is a core value for our family and I'm glad I'm investing in it.

At this stage in my life, these areas are where I need to be allocating a chunk of my time. For me, family and our shared environment is foundational and I am a better person and a better professional worker when I'm investing this time.

Sharing the load - welcome Sarah ?

My new role now plays much more deliberately to my strengths.?I’m going to focus more specifically on product strategy, our partnerships and on developing corporate initiatives that expand the company’s business capabilities over the long term. "Special projects" if you will.

The board and I have recruited a new General Manager at Inclusiv Education . I'm just so pleased that Sarah Ireland is now leading our team.?

Having worked together for just a few weeks I think we can already see what a smart move this is for Inclusiv. Sarah knows the world and work of International Development. Having worked in countries across Africa, Asia and the Middle East, ?Sarah brings a first hand knowledge of the barriers so many children face in gaining access to education and the challenges teachers face in facilitating learning in low resource environments. I'm really appreciating Sarah's can-do approach as well as her consultative style.

It's clear that our skills and work styles are highly complementary and will bring a more rounded approach to developing our strategy. Whilst Sarah is leading the team and the business, I'm now supporting on EdTech strategy; and we're co-leading Inclusiv's medium term strategy. It’s a creative partnership combining disciplines of international development, education and technology.

So, how are you going anyway?

If something in my journey has resonated with you and you’re interested to explore making some changes in your working life – I’ve put together some tips based on what I learned about planning for a break and a change here

Links for the googlers and social media lurkers among you:?

Videos about Autism for kids:?