Going from "I could never do that" to "I did it!"

Self-confidence is difficult. Even the most skilled among us fall prey to imposter syndrome, or the belief that we really don't belong in our position. This is true for everyone from the cashier to the CEO.

How often do you feel "stuck?" You can see the end goal, you just can't figure out the path to get there. I know what that's like!

In my professional and personal lives, I've often set goals with the wish that I could achieve them. Too often, I felt powerless to actually make them happen. I'd make excuses and blame other people for the fact that I didn't succeed, when I wasn't harnessing my own power.

To be fair, sometimes, I didn't know where to start. Other times, I got hung up on a problem and just gave up.I was always looking for that secret sauce that would help me keep pace with my own expectations.

I found the answer in an unlikely place: the gym.

Working hard at working out

About two years ago, I decided to start seriously strength training. Six months into my training, I decided to sign up for a strongwoman competition. Since then, I've adopted exercise as a daily habit, with a focus on very heavy weightlifting.

I can now do ridiculous things like pulling a truck, deadlifting 400 pounds, and hoisting 225-pound concrete stones (see the video down-thread).

Strongwoman training has helped me overcome my insecurity, both in the gym and in the workplace. In a weightlifting competition, no one is there to help you. You either pick up the weight, or you don't. You have to rely on yourself. In the past two years, I've doubled both my deadlift and my salary because of my newfound confidence.

Here's how I've gone from being afraid of my goals to actually achieving them.

Step #1: Gut it out through the first steps

Our initial training sessions were unpleasant. I'd been a high school athlete and an avid ski bum in my 20s, but my 30-something body was different. In fact, it wasn't just the first few sessions, but the first few months that made me seriously question my decision to re-enter the gym.

I found that, about three months in, training had become routine. Weightlifting assumed a role in my life and my identity — something I valued that I wasn't willing to sacrifice. Once I developed the habit, it felt like more work not to work out.

Similarly, learning a new role or skill at work is really uncomfortable at first. You have to invest in the habits that will propel you toward mastery. Sometimes, you may feel like you don't deserve a new position or responsibility because you're not perfect right away.

Here's the secret: No one is perfect right away. In fact, no one is perfect at all. If you can just hang in there through the newbie phase, you'll gradually build confidence and wake up one morning with all the abilities (plus some) that you thought you needed on Day One.

Step #2: Get a coach

My strongman coach supports me in three ways: praising my good work, believing that I can pick up the heavy thing, and telling me how I can improve. Every athlete needs a coach that can help them troubleshoot to improve performance, but I think we often underestimate the other two components.

In this video, I got a 225-lb stone over a 48-inch bar. The only reason I tried to lift that much? My coach told me, "You're ready. You can do that. Go pick it up." Then, he coached me through the lift and spotted me in case I failed.

My coach is a reliable source of information to me because he's one of the strongest people I've ever met (and he's Arizona's third-strongest man, to boot). If he believes in me, I can't help but believe in myself.

Who's your coach on the job? Who do you trust to accurately tell you "you can do it?" Your coach doesn't have to be your supervisor. A coach can be a colleague with more experience, a friend at a different company, or even someone from a civic organization or church group.

I found a "coach" from an online marketing forum who inspired me to seek a promotion. Identify someone who believes in you and can be honest with you about your opportunities for improvement. Then, all you have to do is listen to them, and you can start picking up heavier stuff.

Step #3: Manage your expectations

It's great to have big dreams. I have a goal of one day making it to a national strongwoman competition at the Arnold in Ohio. I'm taking the small steps today that will lead me to that end point.

When I say to "manage your expectations," I'm not encouraging you to abandon your dreams. In fact, quite the opposite — set those big, hairy goals and start working toward them today!!! Just understand that your goals may not be achieved this very moment. If I'd have tried to lift heavy weights in my first months of training, I would have hurt myself. I wasn't ready.

In today's round-the-clock news cycle and social media shitstorm, we often see people's successes as a single step. What you don't see is the hours of work and the repeated "back to the drawing board" moments that came before.

If you've just met me, you see a powerful athlete. You may not realize that my first workouts in a gym happened when my parents started teaching me to lift weights at age 12. You wouldn't know decades-long struggle I've had with body image, injuries, and eating disorders. You wouldn't see the failed lifts and days when my body just would not work ... you would just see the final result.

Don't compare your beginner or intermediate phase with someone else's expert accomplishment. We all start somewhere.

Confidence through experience

I'd love to sell you a magic pill to help you build your confidence. Sorry! The fact is that it takes time and dedication to become stronger in any domain, physical or emotional. If you can lean into the discomfort of incremental change, find the right coach, and cut yourself some slack, you'll be well on your way to creating the life you want.

Keep chipping away at your own dreams, and believe that you can pick up the heaviest stone you see.

After all, if you can hoist hundreds of pounds, nothing at the office should scare you.

Kathryn Bennett, CPSM, is a professional services marketer and amateur strongwoman in Grand Junction, Colorado. In addition to writing and lifting, Kathryn enjoys walking her blue-nosed pit bull, Dot, downhill skiing, and playing video games. Kathryn is most happy when she's spending time at the local hot springs on a chilly winter day. You can follow her on Instagram at @kaybeelifts and @warmaiden_fitness