Going to California
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Going to California

A few weeks ago I wrote about being a part of the “sandwich generation” where I have the privilege of taking care of my parents and also my kids (adults). We are all at different stages of life. My adults are just starting out their career while my wife and I are in the midst/latter stages of our career, and my parents are fully retired.

Well, this past Friday, a new wrinkle presented itself which brought about a mix of excitement and sadness at the same time. My son, Josh, just packed his car and is driving across the country from Ohio to San Diego, California. He is on the precipice of beginning his life past college. He truly wanted to get a start in California, and we decided to support him.

The sadness was just a small part of this new transition. We all hugged, shed some tears and then sent him on his way. We know that he will be successful and admire that he is willing to be such a risk taker. We’re very excited that he is adventurous !! Today we can talk to him at any time using various methods which make his moving out a bit more comforting.

As we came to the day of Josh leaving, we had several meaningful conversations along the way. One night he mentioned something that truly caught me by surprise. He said, “Dad, when I tell everyone that I want to go to California, everyone gives me reasons why they wouldn’t go. They say it’s too expensive or too ‘weird’ or other things. Why is that?”

Great questions. We worked through everything, and he knows he has our full support as parents. Our conversation did make me think though because when he was asked about his future, he was expecting affirmation and encouragement. He received doubt, cynicism and negativity. Why is it that when others step out to take risks, most everyone does their best to limit or confine that expression?

I think the answer is that since we would be less likely to do this ourselves, we share our concerns to confirm that we like things how they are. It is funny to me that people constantly say they’re “good with change” which just isn’t true. We desire stability and pattern, and there is a ton of predictability and certainty with that. It’s not wrong or right. It’s just how most people live.

When a risk taker enters our space, we get edgy and defensive because we’re afraid they’re going to upset OUR patterns. We don’t like people who are unpredictable and we have some pretty strong adjectives to describe them which are all negative. We can’t expect creativity and innovation in our organizations if we describe risk takers in negative terms. You see, they won’t be stifled for long because they’ll willingly take their next step in a new direction.

This week try something new. Affirm and encourage those who are trying to bring about change. I understand that all organizational change needs context. This time don’t assume the worst and think that the change will assuredly lead to failure. Embrace the risk takers in your life. You need them to keep things fresh, alive and relevant.

I love my risk taking son. As soon as he was driving out of our driveway, I thought of the beautiful Led Zeppelin classic “Going to California.” It has the lyrics:

“Made up my mind to make a new start, Going to California with an aching in my heart . . .”

The ache is there, but the new start is about to launch and I can’t wait to see the amazing things that he will accomplish !!


Kevin Theissen

Senior Benefits Leader l Wellbeing l HR Executive l Financial Services l Servant Leader

5 年

I couldn’t agree more, Steve. ?Best of luck to your son!!

回复
Rick Shively

Providing Life and Retirement Services with Allstate Financial Services

5 年

Thanks Steve, I have lived this 3 times and still do every day. What a joy to see one’s children grow and build a new life. Taking risk is part of a dynamic and productive life. Without risk, reward is hard to achieve. One other thought, my mother told me decades ago the joy of having children is that one day they may your best friend. She was so right!

Lisa Van Sant

Human Resources Consultant

5 年

Very timely for me.? Our son is taking his first solo vacation, driving to Key Largo to scuba dive.? And, while I'm a bit terrified (the scuba diving part), I'm also very proud and excited for him.? I know he'll have some wonderful adventures to tell us about.

Great article! It’s part of our job in HR to cultivate talents to allow people to grow and be ready to take risks. These folks should be celebrated and not doubted!

Yolanda Sherrer

Chief People & Culture Officer

5 年

Great and timely article! I know this all too well. My son is also making the drive across the country from Ohio to Las Vegas and I remember my first reaction. Go for it! As a matter of fact, I make the drive with you. As I and his father may worry, we believe in encouraging, guiding and supporting. Change is never comfortable but the learning process is sweet!

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