Going Back For More

Facing Fear: Take One

My sister once took my blood pressure and asked me if I was sure I was still alive. This was no emergency, but an opportunity for her to practice her EMT skills.

In college my friends called me "The Rock", not because I resembled Dwayne Johnson in any way, but rather, because I can be closeted with my emotions. It's purposeful, and a way to keep my head clear so I can move forward.

Fear. That's an emotion we usually choose to avoid. It can sneak up on us, but sometimes it treads on our soul for years. We do crazy things to avoid that miserable feeling. We stay in jobs we hate. We reject golden opportunities. The law of avoidance becomes our best friend.

On Saturday, I decided to face one of mine: swimming in deep, open water. As much as I love body surfing and swimming, I have never had the courage to swim far from shore. I joined the Y in March and soon after signed up for a race. Weeks of training flew by and before I knew it, race day was upon me.

I jumped into the water and felt smooth, freestyling towards the first buoy. This was already going better than I expected. Until I popped my head up and saw that I was already off-course. I stretched a toe down and couldn't feel anything. The water suddenly felt cold and I wondered if not wearing a wetsuit was a moment of foolish bravado. My breathing felt heavy. Thoughts of quitting seeped into my brain. All this preparation and excitement for nothing. As other swimmers carried on, was I really going to slink my way back to shore?

In about 20 seconds I accepted that my fear was real, but in the same moment, I wasn't ready to accept failure. I had trained to swim far longer than a single mile, and my loose arms and legs reminded me that they were ready and waiting. I had no doubt that I could physically finish this race. Now all I had to do was get my emotions in check. And I did, sort of. Realizing that I needed to keep moving and regulate my breathing, I flipped over and backstroked to the first buoy. Rounding its corner, I saw the deepest water two buoys away. OK, if I can get myself there, then I'm 50% done. I fed off the camaraderie of my fellow swimmers doing the same thing. I couldn't be the only fearful flipper in Johns Pond. I passed my third buoy and set my next goal. Swimmers cruised passed me, and I honestly couldn't tell you if I passed any of them back. Oh wait, I remember one at the end. But I was too busy just keeping my head above water to care.

It turns out that these moments of panic are common even for experienced swimmers. But they keep getting back out there. I think we called it FOMO. And that's what I plan to do. I've run ultras, traveled and moved to different states and countries by myself. I've changed careers and started my own business. And I can honestly say that none of that compares to the gut-check I experienced this weekend. That panic was real, but my choice to face it was also real. The power sports have to positively impact my life never ceases to amaze me.

Maybe now I can find something else that doesn't require me to wear a Speedo. After my next race!

In My Research

"This research was inspired by my experiences as a white, educated, Western woman athlete and coach. Attending US public schools, I competed with my classmates to earn a spot on the top field hockey, basketball, and softball teams. I reached some secondary school athletic goals, but I struggled with empowering my voice in school and in sport. For example, in the classroom I did not raise my hand unless I was sure I had the correct answer for fear of looking foolish. I was also a quiet member of my sport teams, following in line behind older, vocal leaders, even if I did not agree with them. I did, however, self-identify as a leader when my teammates elected me as captain of several sport programs. I had acquired a small platform from which I was expected to use my voice. The opportunity to lead my teammates gave me, in turn, confidence to raise my hand more often in class. This current research is rooted in the belief that had I not participated in sport, the opportunity to empower my voice would have come much later, if at all. I wanted to find out if other girl athletes felt empowered to use their voices." Ralls, K. (2021). Girl Athletes in Ethiopia Finding Voice Empowerment Through Sport. Accepted by Girlhood Studies, November 2021.

Take Her Word for It

"Taking a different approach, best-selling author, entrepreneur, podcaster, and public speaker Tim Ferriss suggests in his TED talk that people should define their fears first, instead of their goals.

“Humans are very good at considering what might go wrong if we try something new,” said Ferris. “What we don’t often consider is the atrocious cost of the status quo—not changing anything.”

Ferris cites the ancient philosophy of stoicism and its potential as an “operating system for making better decisions.” He suggests people consider what they can and cannot control and work on focusing on what they can control. In this way, people decrease their emotional reactions to challenging situations."

Women's Sports History

Gertrude Elderle was the first woman to swim the English Channel, achieving the feat in 1926. As the story goes, when the winds picked up in the 12th hour, her coach suggested she quit. Elderle responded, "What for?" and kept chugging along. After 14 hours and 34 minutes in the sea, she reached the shore and was promptly asked where her passport was.

Figures.

At KR LLC, we believe women athletes are perfectly positioned to be standout leaders.

And if you want to relive a little bit of your glory years, we’re here for that as well!

www.kathleenralls.com