Goals Shmoals.. How about 5 Questions to ask for 2017?

Can you believe its almost 2017?? Is that crazy to anyone else or is it just me?

I remember when 2015 ended and there began the glorious new year of 2016. Full of hope, change, possibility, and determination.

I do not know about you, but 2016 was a roller coaster, goods and bads, ups and downs, blessings and curses. Turned out WAY different than I thought...

I made some goals in 2016 that I accomplished some, others I did not. I found myself getting down on myself for not getting everything done. Please note, I am a huge fan of goals. Heck, I work for FranklinCovey who teaches about The End in Mind concept which I try to adhere to.

All of these questions have to do with combating the inner judging voice inside demanding perfection from us every second of the day. If we can be open to doing things different, we can find success.

I wanted to share some insights I had in this last couple of months looking into the new year and thinking about what I would do different.

I decided that I needed to ask myself 5 essential questions to assist in having success this year. I apply these to any goals, activities, relationships, or anything I am thinking of what I want to accomplish. Just thought I would share and hopefully this helps you.

1-Is what I am doing or want to do, make me happy or overwhelmed?

I obviously cannot get into your brain, but I know mine. Here is what I see with myself.. maybe it will apply to you.

Sometimes I have goals that are too far out there, or too easy, or there are goals I think I need to have. This question, of "does this make me happy?" is a huge part of my next year. Another way to put it is, does this make my heart sing? Does this lift my spirits? Does this help me feel good?

I know that not all tasks or activities in life are not always pleasant like taking out trash, doing dishes, or cleaning up the dogs mess. What I have found though is that when I am overall happy with my life and the direction I am taking, these tasks are not energy sucking.

The other half of this question is does this or would this make me feel overwhelmed applies more often than not. I heard once that successful people say NO more than they say YES. For me, I have TONS of really cool activities I could do, lots of opportunities, lots of things I COULD do. I find myself saying yes to much, so now this year, I am saying NO more often to give me more room for question #2...

2-Am I laser focused on my YEAR theme/purpose?

Looking back in my life, the years where I had an overarching theme, mission, vision, or whatever you want to call it, I got a lot more done. That vision or theme, was what drove me forward into different areas. It also gave me focus to be able to say NO to the things that were not bad, but would have ultimately taken me away from my theme.

The years when I just kind of floated and had goals like lose weight, or make more money, I did ok, but nothing really drove me forward or helped me say no to the things that were not part of my overall yearly theme.

To give you an example, 2 years ago, my whole focus was on my music. That was my theme, I totally focused on gigs, recording, and so on. I then had a huge amount of success because I did not allow other things to distract me from what my goal was at the time. I had many business opportunities that were good, but distracted from what I wanted. The more I said no, the more I had music doors open up.

The funny thing is that my themes are usually more of a decision and feeling rather than a power statement or mission statement for the year. Hard to articulate, however I know when its right or wrong for my focus.

This year, my theme has to do having and feeling success. 2016 was a year of a lot of failures for me, so I decided that 2017 I will focus on success no matter how small it is. Success with exercise, success with money, success in relationships, success with the job, success with business, success with music. My goals are all focused around what will really let me feel successful. A real example is this, I have a goal of exercising every day, to some that may seem extreme or not realistic. The caveat is that I have given myself permission to only exercise 10 minutes if that is what I am up for, or if that's what I have time for. I will talk more about this in a following question below...

The next question also helps...

3-Is what I am doing, or want to do, something that my future self a year from now will be proud of and glad that I did it?

As I get older, this concept is more meaningful every year. It also has to do with The End in Mind concept from FranklinCovey. Not that I never thought about this before, but I every time I heard it I always felt like I had lots of time so why worry? Now I am not that old, but I am old enough to know that time is valuable and should not be wasted. So when I look at goals that I want to accomplish, I ask myself, will this truly benefit me in a year from now? What would life look like when this is a part of my life?

I know this seems obvious with goals to ask this, but years past I would have created goals like work out every day for an hour at 5:30 am. Ideally, I would love that, but in real life it does not always happen. I do not want to get to the end of this year and beat myself up because I did not accomplish the goal as I put it out.. It would be a year of self beat up, instead of success. Now if I give myself a little flexibility, like its ok if I only work out 10 minutes in the afternoon, then I can feel good about it at the end of the year. This brings us to the next question...

3-Am I overwhelmed with options?

So I have a few points on this one.. I love the quote above about being overwhelmed means you are not being true to yourself. To me feeling overwhelmed goes back to the ability to say no, but also being clear on what your boundaries are. This is what I would suggest for myself and anyone else reading this..

1-Have 1 Main Goal for each major area of life which to me are: Physical, Financial, Relationships, Fun, Service, Spiritual, Emotional, Career/Business, Social. Pick 1 Goal.. that is it. The one goal in each area that if accomplished in a year would make you feel amazing.

For example:

Physical-Run a mile under 7 minutes

Social-Go out twice a month with a friend to dinner

Financial-Create $XXX in my music business and $XXX with career and so on

2-Once those are decided, find time starting this month of when you are going to work on each. Even if that means waking up an hour early, or at night sacrificing precious Netflix binging time. For me, every second Friday is social night to have dinner with a friend that I schedule in advance with them.

3-Realize that life happens and need to schedule, focus on the main goals each week. One thing we teach here at FranklinCovey is "the whirlwind" is that part of your life that takes over.. like when your car breaks down, or your kids need something, or your parents need help, or going through a divorce, moving to a new house, need a root canal, just the stuff that fills our lives that we did not see coming. Its ok to have life happen, but if you can make time each week on each day for even 10 minutes to accomplish your goals, you will be surprised how much you get done.

This brings us to the next question...

4-What got in the way of me having success last year?

I think that this is part of goal setting that is essential, but it is never talked about. Being self aware enough to look at past goals and what SPECIFICALLY got in the way of being able to accomplish them. How many times do you 1-remember past goals, 2-are able to see what got in the way of accomplishing them?

I think to many times we set these goals, think "this time it will be different" and fail by the end of January. We let go of what we thought we could do because we failed already.

Instead of letting go of the goals, look at what IS NOT WORKING. The working out example again comes to mind. Here is what happened with my goal of waking up every morning at 5:30 am and working out for an hour every day. I was inspired, I was pumped, I was ready with clothes out and routine ready. I knew exactly what I was going to do, what I would eat, what I would wear, everything lined out to be successful. Then for the next month I had some of the worst sinus issues I have ever had and needless to say, getting up at 5:30 am after being awake all night was not going to happen. By the end of the month, I was not only frustrated with being sick, but feeling down on myself for failing at a goal I thought I was actually going to get this time.

This is when I thought, "Wait a sec... does it have to be at 5:30 am? Does it have to be an hour? Is it ok on sick days if I only do 10 minutes of jumping jacks in the afternoon?" The answer to me was a resounding yes.

Here is the other thing I noticed... I used watch a lot of Netflix. In fact one day I realized I watched 2 hours and did not even notice. Now I am very grateful for Netflix, it is awesome, but when I realized how much time was being wasted on it, I told myself that I had to read a book for at least 15-30 minutes before watching ANYTHING. At first, it was hard to focus, but now I look forward to reading whatever book I am involved with.

The last thing to ask is:

5-When are my check in dates and who can I be accountable to?

As a life coach, I think half of the reason why someone paid me was to hold them accountable. I do not think that people understand how powerful this concept is. To help you, and me, with this question, I am going to line out some things to look for in someone to be accountable to.

1-Who is someone I trust and can be TOTALLY transparent with?

2-Will this person call me out on my self sabotage, nicely?

3-Can this person be my cheerleader?

4-Would I want to celebrate with this person?

Many people this is their siblings, spouses, family, friends, or even a co worker. Ask yourself these questions about whoever is in your life. Approach them, go through your goals and also tell them what has held you back in the past and what you will need help with this next year.

Let them also know that all you need from them is a check in date. That could be weekly, monthly, quarterly. A time when you can call them and they would be willing to listen to you about what is going good, what isn't and what you can do to shift it.

I am amazed how open people are to giving help and assisting me when I ask for it. It is when I assume that they are too busy, they could not do it, they would never do it.. bla bla bla bla.. Do yourself a favor, make a list of your top 5 people. Ask them if they would be your person for this year... LET THEM MAKE THE DECISION IF THEY CAN OR NOT... do NOT do it for them.

Before I get to the summary, I wanted to give one bonus question...

BONUS QUESTION-What is 1 thing that would scare and excite me to accomplish?

Pick one thing you have never done that you want to do like doing a backflip, writing a book, skydiving, singing in front of a crowd, recording a song, start a business, ask your special someone to marry you... PICK SOMETHING that scares the living bajeebees out of you and also excites you to no end. Just ONE. This will help you be excited looking forward.

SUMMARY

I wish to you, whoever you are reading this, an amazing amount of success, happiness, and overcoming whatever challenges may come up. I believe in the human spirit's ability to conquer anything that may arise. For you reading, I believe in you... you got this... do what you want to this year..

Here is to your success...