The goal-setting myth that’s quietly sabotaging you

Good morning! Andy from Back of the Envelope here.

Today, I want to share a "secret" with you—one that could unlock a whole new level of possibility.

There’s a belief floating around about goal-setting that might be quietly messing with our progress. It goes something like this:

Start small. Build momentum. Stay realistic.

Yes, it sounds totally sensible — but there’s a caveat that rarely gets talked about. And this caveat actually diminishes our chances of achieving our goals!

Let me explain.

(Estimated read time: 3 minutes & 17 seconds)

The Problem with Easy Goals

Intuitively, we believe that easy, "achievable" goals are the key to getting things done.

The problem is... easy goals don’t spark the kind of change in our brain that makes a real difference.

I'll get into the science in just a second, but essentially, our brain's reaction to easy goals is like it saying: "meh, that's too easy! why bother?"

In other words: no challenge and no pressure, resulting in no growth and changes in the brain.

The Other Extreme Isn’t the Answer

Before we swing all the way to the other extreme and decide to take over the world, it's important to also note that outrageously ambitious goals aren’t the answer either.

They can leave us feeling stuck, wondering if there’s even a point in trying.

According to Dr. Andrew Huberman, the sweet spot lies in setting moderately lofty goals — the kind that stretch us just enough to make us think…

“Maybe I can pull this off... or maybe I can’t. Seems doable...ish.”

The Science Behind Moderately Lofty Goals

1/ The Goldilocks Effect.

When our goal sits just beyond our comfort zone, our body can actually go into sort of “ready mode.”

Essentially, our nervous system lights up. Blood pressure rises (in a good way). We get that focused, slightly jittery feeling that says, “Let’s go!”

2/ Discomfort Drives Neuroplasticity.

In addition, pursuing a goal that’s slightly out of reach creates frustration and anxiety — kind of annoying but this is actually where the magic happens!

These uncomfortable states apparently trigger neurochemical shifts, opening the door to neuroplasticity. This is how our brain rewires itself, adapting to meet the challenge.

When we engage with a goal that feels just beyond our reach, we are inviting our brain to grow and to build new neural connections that make achieving that goal possible.

(Kind of like how working out and lifting weights work, but for the brain)

3/ The Tension of Possibility.

Lastly, a moderate challenge tend to keep us motivated.

It’s not so easy that weget bored or distracted, and not so hard that we throw in the towel before we even start.

This balance creates just enough pressure to keep us in the game.

My Struggle with Writing Back of the Envelope

Here’s an example: writing for this very newsletter.

Some days, it feels like staring down a blank page, my mind just swirls with doubt…

Is this good enough? Will it resonate??

I tweak and edit and edit again, and even then, I hesitate before hitting send.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

… that struggle is a signal.

It means I’m pushing past my comfort zone. Every frustrating moment—every time I feel like giving up—is my brain rewiring itself, sharpening my skills, and building resilience.

The discomfort isn’t a red light; it’s a green light pointing toward growth.

Why This Matters for You

This isn’t just about setting goals. It’s about reshaping our mindset.

Discomfort isn’t a roadblock—it’s the gateway to meaningful change. Those moments of struggle are necessary triggers for rewiring our brain to achieve more.

And here’s the cool part, according to Huberman:

??

"...the orbital frontal cortex understands that context. It literally can take information about neuroplasticity, it can take information about frustration which you now have, and it can combine those such that when you experience that frustration, you experience those errors and you previously would have wanted to quit, now you know that you are making progress, you're literally shifting those neural circuits in the direction of improved learning."

In other words, when we encounter frustration and struggle, instead of making us want to quit, our brain knows we are making progress so it rewires itself to prepare us for success!

Your Turn

Now think back to the “focus area” and the list of potential goals that you’ve identified from the last email, ask yourself:

1. What’s the one goal that makes your heart race a little?
2. Is this goal a stretch, but not impossible? (in Huberman’s words, is it “lofty”?)

Once you’ve identified the one focus that’s worth pursuing, you’ve taken the first step.

Next time, we’ll dive into actionable ways to turn this into progress.

Thanks for reading!

Yours truly,

Andy Lin

P.S. This morning, my wife texted me, “Your going to crush your goals today!” I replied, “No, you’re going to crush your goals today!”

She’s been brimming with confidence ever since.

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I guess I should correct her grammar more often—it might just help us both reach our goals!

This article was originally shared in my newsletter via email: Envelope 36: The goal-setting myth that’s quietly sabotaging you.

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