The goal isn't to get married, the goal is to STAY married!

For those of you who are married or are getting married, do you act as though you've completed the ultimate task? Do you feel like you've reached the pinnacle?

Well, if you think you have, you're dead wrong.

I feel like I see more and more people thinking this way today.

I ask people often why they work so hard, and so many people say they work hard for their family, their kids, their spouse, etc. To those of you who say that - STOP - because that story just ain't true.

Over the years, I've learned a lot of invaluable lessons from marriage gurus, and since it's Valentines Day I thought I would share a bunch of them with you:

1. Don't take the phone into the bedroom! It's not that sexy when you go to bed with that thing in your hand or right by you when you sleep! Oh, but you "need to see what time it is?" Get an alarm clock on Amazon for $19.99. Here's a link to buy one now.

2. Stop working 2 hours before you want to go to bed! This will not only improve your relationship, but it will also improve your sleep! Those few minutes will allow you regain control of what's going on in your world, beyond the virtual world that consumes us for most of each day.

3. Make sure you make time every week to review the schedule for the week - what's going on around the house and with your friends. And while we're on the topic of a schedule, make sure you rotate planning trips and vacations with your spouse.

4. Leave your cell phone at home on date night! Here's a piece of my new book Living On Purpose that talks about this topic:

Now when Mara and I go out to dinner a couple times a week (date night), or lunch on the weekends, I leave my cell phone at home. If we’re at home eating dinner, I don’t take my phone out. I want her to know that she has my undivided attention during that time we’re together. The same goes for when I’m eating with my kids. Whatever they want to talk about with me, I’m focused on them. The first time I told Mara I was doing this, I thought she was going to faint.

I can’t stress it enough: leave your cell phone at home on date night!

5. Write down all the reasons why you got married on a piece of paper, so that when things get tough (and they will), you can pull out that paper to remind you why to keep fighting for it.

6. Compliment your spouse every day! Tell them something good. "I like your shoes", or "thanks for getting me my favorite fruit at the market", or "I like your hair" (after your spouse goes to the salon) can all go a long way to having a happy and healthy marriage.

7. Don't buy your spouse a dozen roses. Buy her 1 rose on 12 separate occasions!

8. Be spontaneous. Plan a fun date once in a while with something really cool to do. It will keep things interesting!

9. Celebrate! Take advantage of your anniversary, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and birthdays! Have some passion and put a little umph into making them extra special and memorable. Why not?

10. Don't go to sleep when you're mad and fighting with your spouse. Stay up and keep arguing. The worst thing to do is let little issues go and sweep them under the rug. Keep talking until you settle or come to a compromise.

Finally - ask yourself this - what is you and your spouse's favorite thing to do? When was the last time you did it, and why are you not doing it more often?

PS: Don't forget that foreplay starts when you unload the dishwasher.