Goal Getters Anonymous

Happy 2025! I'm starting this year off specifically talking to my ambitious, high-achieving goal getters! After years of setting goals, making many of them, and then setting new goals, thinking the next one would bring that sense of "enough" and fulfillment," only to realize it didn't, can we make this the year we stop the madness?! If you're like me and struggle between the line of being "ambitious" without being "overly ambitious to the point of exhaustion," and have lost sight of the "why," as I did, I hope this message resonates and helps you...

I’ve been reflecting on my journey as a corporate executive the last few years, I was reminded of how many goals I had actually achieved; But yet, none of them felt as fulfilling as I expected. The dopamine hit didn’t last, which is why my entire life, as soon as I hit a goal, I set the next one; I thought achieving the next goal would make it feel “worth it.” But, it never seemed enough, and I couldn’t figure out why.?

Conversations with many friends, peers and partners the last few months has reinforced that I was not alone in the struggle. And that is why I want to share with you the paradigm shift that changed how I approach life and goals.

What I have since learned is that I needed to rethink how I approached goals entirely. Previously, I’d set an ambitious goal, put the plan in place to make it happen, put my head down and get to work! I climbed up that ladder, thinking, each next step would the one that brought fulfillment, thinking the next one would be the one that felt “enough.”?

And after 20+ years of that chase, I had my “a ha” moment...

The real fulfillment doesn’t come from achieving your goal; it comes from who you become and what you learn along the way.

Read that again! It makes so much sense, doesn’t it?!? When I came to this realization, it immediately made so much sense. It explained the lack of fulfillment, and short-lived sense of accomplishment from even long-term goals.?

When I connected those dots in my head, I immediately asked myself- how did I miss that all these years?! Well, it was because I saw the journey, the path, as something I had to get through to get to the other side. I didn’t pay much attention or give credit to the lessons I was learning along the way, or who I was becoming.?

And by the way, it wasn’t all good. Sometimes, I was too goal-oriented, and I missed out on precious moments of life and family because of it.?

When I realized this a couple years ago, I shifted my focus from goals to intentions at the new year. I focused on how I wanted to feel and who I wanted to be, because we spend a lot more time there than we do with a short-lived victory. When I made this shift, it changed how I felt about the process. Instead of something that could be seen as a necessary evil or something I had to get through, I saw the process as part of the “becoming” and “learning,” which made it more fulfilling and enjoyable, and easier to be resilient through the hard times too.

So, before you jump into your new year of goals, I encourage you to use this fulfillment filter: If I don’t achieve the goal, will I be better for it anyway??

Sometimes, we can’t control all the elements that go into achieving a goal. And sometimes, as we grow and change, so do our goals. So if you’ve worked long and hard for a goal that no longer feels important to you, the journey might feel like a waste, if you aren’t capturing lessons and growing along the way.?

So, if you can zoom out from that goal, for a second, think about setting an intention for the year of who you want to be, and how you want to feel. Then, attach a goal that would help you become more of that.

If that feels too abstract, here’s a personal example:

Going into 2024, I had felt I lost my right side of my brain. Personal and professional situations caused me to be operating out of my analytical side far too much of the time, which led to me feeling unbalanced, as someone who is both left- and right-brained. I felt like not tapping into that creativity was contributing to feeling a lack of fulfillment, because that was such a part of where my joy came from, and something that was a part of authentic me. So, the intention I set in 2024 was to lean into my creative brain.

Once I set that intention, I reflected on what goals I could set that would align with the attention of “Creativity.” I looked for something that could bring both joy and fulfillment, and that could be a consistent action that would create a routine.?

And that’s when I decided my goal was to get into the habit of writing again. I was a journalism undergrad and always loved writing, but I hadn’t been consistent with it for a very long time. It was something that I could do anywhere. It didn’t require anything- even if I didn’t have a journal and paper, I always had my phone; so there was little friction involved in the process. It felt realistic and approachable. So, I started with journaling. But then, I felt that was putting too much pressure on me.

I thought about the James Clear quote from one of my favorite books, Atomic Habits,

“You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.”?

So, rather than giving up on my goal, I changed my system (action.) It’s important that we remember there is more than one way to get from Point A to Point B. Sometimes we get attached to the “how” rather than the “what.” If you’re struggling with the method you’re taking towards your goal, but the goal is still important, try changing your method.?

Instead of daily journaling, I decided to start a weekly newsletter- this one, The Grounded Leader, that both allowed me to use my creative brain, but also allowed me to add value to others by sharing experiences, perspectives and lessons along my leadership journey. I chose weekly because that was the cadence I needed to both create the habit and also feel the benefit of the joy and fulfillment. Writing daily felt like something I had to do, whereas writing weekly felt like something that I wanted to do.?

And that’s where it came full circle for me. I was focused on the joy in the journey, rather than the goal in itself. And that is what made it fulfilling. Yes, the goal was to write more, and the purpose was to be more creative so that I felt more joy and fulfillment. But it wasn’t achieving the goal of writing that accomplished that, it was finding the right path to it that did.?

As I considered this year’s intentions, I reflected on what I wanted to keep doing, stop doing, and start doing. I wanted to keep with writing because of the joy it brought me, but in launching my business, there are also some other goals I want to accomplish. So, I reconsidered what would now feel rewarding versus pressure, and as a result am pivoting this newsletter to bi-monthly. I will keep writing weekly, but in different forms- on my email list, in this newsletter, in other places, etc. (If you aren’t on my email list, you can subscribe here.)

To summarize, here is the what and how:

Identified Feeling: Lack of Fulfillment?

Set Intention: Be More Creative to Feel More Joy + Fulfillment

Set Goal: Start Writing Consistently Again

Method 1: Daily Journaling

Method 2 (pivot): Weekly Newsletter

Resulting Feeling: More Joy + Fulfillment

Evaluation + Next Step: Continue Intention + Goal, Modify Method

Method 3: Bi-Monthly Newsletter

I hope by sharing this example, it can help you remove a mental block or friction point that you may be experiencing in approaching one of your goals, or the path to it.

For 2025, my hope for you fellow high achievers is to learn to find joy in your journey. It will result in more happiness and fulfillment! And if you need support in achieving that, be sure to email me, because I’ve got something pretty exciting to share :-)??

The rising tide lifts all boats, friends!

With Gratitude,

Stacey