Go Hard or Go Home

Yesterday was my last meeting as a board member of the Child Cancer Foundation. This is an organisation that I have been a part of for about 15 years now, and one where I have served on the board for 10 years, including 4 years as Chair. It has truly been an honour to work with and for such an amazing organisation, and for and with some amazing people.

My journey is a personal one, but I’ll share that my involvement was driven by a young girl who died too young, and who I never met, yet who inspired me to look at the world through a different lens. During that time I got to meet lots of inspirational young people, and sadly some have left us, but many have gone on to achieve great things and to motivate others. Maybe I’ll tell their stories another time, but for now all I’ll say is they will change the world, and I am in awe of them. And that is all I have to say about that.

So allow me to share with you my 5 observations of life in the fast lane of the NGO world, and those lessons that I learnt. I’m still a board member of the One Percent Collective Trust, and I hope that the lessons I learnt with the Child Cancer Foundation add some value to those partner charities that we work with at OPC.

1. Give your all

If you want to get involved with a charity, you need to really consider how much of yourself you are ready to commit. Work out what works for you and your family, and when you commit, you must give 100% to that commitment. If your commitment is climbing a mountain, offering up 2 hours a week of time, $10 a week of funding, or 30 minutes of answering phones or stuffing envelopes, don’t start what you can’t finish. If you’re going to volunteer, go for it, but don’t pull out when it rains. Fair weather players damage teams, and if you’re in, play hard or get off the field. Doing something regularly will achieve so much more. On Kilimanjaro it was Pole Pole, and helped us conquer the mountain. It’s like the gym. You will not get fit by turning up to pump iron only once a year; you get fit through regular continuous engagement with a stepper or rowing machine. Even 20 mins a day will improve your fitness, and it’s the same with giving. Stick at it, and the results will speak for themselves.

2. Money is the root of all evil

I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve seen people use money and funding to justify bad decisions and bad behaviour. It truly skews brains and leads down the path to wasted energy. And here’s the rub. Who holds the money is not important, it is how you use it. I've been involved in so many discussions about “our money”, or “our donors”, or “our sponsors” and it is the most selfish statement in my opinion. The money donated to your organisation belongs to the donor at all times. Period. They made that donation because they believed in your goals, and they want you to spend it on those objects. Siting on donor funds for a rainy day, or because it makes you feel special and important, is negligent.

I look at a lot of charity accounts, maybe obsessively, but as well as the usual metrics of revenue, spend, and reserve policies (tagged funds), I am looking for evidence of impact. This is not in the numbers, but in the notes, and in the statements and stories. The new reporting standards go a long way to helping with this, but it is an art not a science.

It is why the work of the One Percent Collective is so essential for small charities, as telling their stories demonstrates the impact, and justifies the donation.

I have a bias (more on this below) for delivery led organisations; I accept that a lobby group does important work in raising awareness, and in getting an important message out there, but I’m driven by action, execution, and change. Talking is important, but doing is meaningful. It causes me inner turmoil, as there are many organisations that drive change through communication, but I just can’t bring myself to love them as much, as I am programmed for disruption and outcomes.

3. Know your bias

This could also mean know your motivation. If you are motivated to help for some personal gratification and kudos, do us all a favour and just send a cheque once a year.

If you truly want to make an impact and then stand on the sidelines and feel great inside, then get it on and dive in.

As I said above, my bias is action, but I am also driven by innovation, technology, and youth empowerment. If I analyse myself, this could be neatly packaged as disruption. To be labelled a disrupter is to call yourself a trouble maker and can make you unpopular where the status quo is sacrosanct. It makes you the enemy of the “you don’t understand, we’ve always done it this way” brigade and they will fight you to the death to protect themselves from change. Fighting this fight is a waste of energy, and you need to show the way with kindness, and rational unemotional thought. Fighting will reinforce the position of the guardian of let’s do nothing. They are fearful of change because it is unknown. You need to show the way and be brave with them; much like a child learning to ride a bike; put training wheels on, show them they can do it, and then rip the wheels off when they aren’t looking and watch them fly after a few wobbles, and with a giant grin.

It is so important to declare your bias; it is not a weakness, and it will let those around you know how you think, and will help others to debate with you. My affinity is to youth and technology, and as the father to two articulate, smart, and insanely stubborn teenage girls, I want to blitz a path through the old ways so that their generation can reach its potential. That encompasses environment, social support, and the destruction of gender stereotypes where it exists. An unpopular bias I have is that girls can do anything, and that they don’t need to be boys to do so. I don’t care what you identify as, as long as you are true to yourself. I encourage my daughters femininity, and they embrace it. I strongly believe that it is the person not the skin that is important. Your sexuality, your faith, your very identity is secondary to how you act, how you engage, and how you treat others. It is sad that society boxes and labels people who don’t conform to some archaic standard, and then seeks to assign a stereotype to everyone in that box. Be who you want to be, surround yourself with awesome people who love you for you, and declare your bias or motivation with pride. Don't waste energy debating stupid. I don’t care one jot about how my daughters' decide to define their sexuality or position in society, but I do care that they walk through life with respect, and that opportunities are never closed because of their political views, their sexuality, or their religion. Such things need to get in the damn sea. My daughters can shoot, I suggest you don't get in the line of fire.

4. Be authentic

This is the golden rule and my mantra. Be real and be true. I live a double life; I’m a boring finance guy, and a grumpy one at that. As I said above, I demand execution, and it makes me unreasonable, difficult to work with, and quite unpleasant sometimes (always?).

I strive to be real.

I never sacrifice my ethics and values to suit my bias, and if anything I likely overcompensate the other way, and I simply cannot stop caring. I can rationalise decisions, compartmentalise feelings, and be brutal in execution, and it makes compromise hard for me, but at least it is real.

If you are involved in an organisation where their values are at odds with yours, you cannot seek to change yourself. Much like the laws of the conservation of energy, you will simply morph your energy into wasted heat as you fight for what you believe, and you will be unhappy and tired. You need to align your values to an organisation, and work in empathy and synchronisation. Be like a wise owl and think about what you want to achieve and know your capabilities; I got to ride an e-Bike around the gorgeous Lake Wakatipu in Queenstown the other week, and the combination of peddling and assistance of a electric motor is pure harmony and made cycling (for old me) a joy. When systems are aligned then magic can happen. Or at the least, you sure can ride further and with less wasted energy.

5. Know when to go

Or quit whilst you’re ahead. We all have something to give, but recognise when the tank is empty, or if someone else has more fuel. Life is a series of journeys, and you need to know when yours is coming to an end and step aside. You must finish what you started, be true to your values, and know when to stop. This is not bad, and you’ll never stop caring for the cause you’ve been involved with. In fact, stepping aside is often just a new chapter, and you’ll give in different ways going forward.

Whilst I have formally stepped aside from the Child Cancer Foundation, I know that the friendships and relationships I have made will always be there. I adore so many people in the organisation, and it has changed my life. I owe a debt to a girl I never met, yet who enabled me to help so many people. I climbed a mountain silently in her honour. Her name was Kate and I dedicate the last 15 years to her. She is the hero and inspiration. Go find your own hero, and go hard or go home.