Go from Critic to Collaborator

At some point in our professional lives, we have all experienced a moment where we felt the need to express criticism to a colleague. Whether it be due to a difference in work style or a conflict of interest, expressing criticism without processing it first can lead to harmful and unnecessary conflict in the workplace.?

However, it is also essential to express the message through critical thinking to create more harmony and connection. So, how can we transform our critical thinking and become collaborators in the workplace? Here are five steps to follow.

Step 1: Distinguish Between Thoughts and Observations

Critical thinking is usually stimulated by observation. When you make an observation, you are describing what you see or hear, without interpreting or adding your own biases. Distinguishing between your thoughts and observations allows you to express your criticism constructively and without attacking or blaming others.

Step 2: Give Space to Your Thoughts, but in a Safe Way

It can be helpful to "vent" to a trusted friend, mentor, or coach who can help you process your thoughts and feelings in a safe and confidential space. This will allow you to clear your mind and be more objective about the situation.

Step 3: Connect with the Feelings and Needs Beneath the Thoughts

Ask yourself, "What am I feeling? What do I need?" to better understand the root of your thoughts and develop actionable strategies. When you understand the underlying feelings and needs, you can express yourself more effectively and with less judgement.

Step 4: Check How You Would Like to Meet Those Needs

Consider the different strategies you can use to meet those needs, especially if you intend to bring this to your colleague. Consider what you are willing to compromise and what your non-negotiables are.

Step 5: Have an Open Empathic Dialogue with Your Coworker

Be clear about your observations and needs, and invite your colleague to share their thoughts and feelings as well, so you can come up with a win-win solution together. By engaging in an empathic dialogue, you can work towards a collaborative solution that benefits both parties.

3 Bonus Tips for Having a Dialogue with Your Coworker:

Name your observation clearly:

• Instead of “You’re always late!”
• Try “I’m noticing that you arrived later than we agreed for the last three meetings.”

Use "I" language when expressing your thoughts and feelings:?

• Instead of “This is so annoying!” or “You’re being disrespectful!”
• Try: “I feel frustrated.” or “I’m feeling tense around this.”

Express your needs without judgement:

• Instead of “You should respect everyone’s time!”
• Try: “I need consideration for everyone’s time.” or “I would love a bit more understanding.”

Can you think of something a coworker does that leads you to criticism?

Try naming your observations, feelings, and needs using the above examples. Let us know how it goes!

Transforming your critical thinking is an ongoing process that requires a willingness to reflect and change. By following these steps, you can become a collaborator in the workplace and create more harmony and connection with your colleagues.