Go Ahead. Translate This.

Some may wonder why I rail at corporate biz-speak jargoneering. Here are some extracts from a job opening someone forwarded to me - I DARE you to figure out exactly WHAT in the world is going on here.:

"The objective is to create a new model at the enterprise level for engaging selected strategic health systems customer, generate incremental profitable revenue growth in addition to securing long term business commitment through strategic relationships and contracts, and identify and establish sustainable and value creation propositions...(person) will develop and manage a sustainable strategic relationship that transforms the current commercial model by creating joint value that results in the ongoing reduction of costs, continuous process improvement, growth and profitability for both partners with the ability to export key learnings. They will be responsible for facilitating jointly created solutions to reduce the complexities of doing business through process improvement projects which will identify breakpoints and jointly implement sustainable solutions that can be validated and measured, and will work collaboratively and consultatively to match customer’s needs and expectations with internal company capabilities (e.g. Professional Education, Supply Chain and Logistics, Data Analytics, and Health Economics, Finance, Marketing, R&D, Outcomes Research)...The successful candidate will be the key leader and customer advocate working closely with the Strategic Account and Sales Leaders across company to facilitate execution against strategic account terms, interface with account management executives and sales leaders enterprise-wide to align and deliver high quality service and value, ensure coordinated execution of customer solutions through clinical and economic services and programs, and facilitate the management of and coordinate direct sales personnel and resources. They will contribute to positively driving business model change and executing against innovative approaches in the new environment, contribute to the development of enterprise account model that will change the way company operates in the marketplace, and will hold accountability for effective, creative contract and agreement leadership working across different sectors of the organization... will manage critical internal stakeholders relationships (Account Management and Sales Leaders, Marketing, Innovation Solutions Groups, HEMA, Finance, Legal Distribution, HCC, HCS, Supply Chain, Regulatory/Quality). The individual will also manage critical external relationships (Health systems/Healthcare decision makers, Clinical thought leaders, Strategic partners, Healthcare solutions consultants). New relationship capabilities will be required to meet the evolving needs including: moving from traditional relationship management to healthcare executive partnerships, greater depth of critical inquiry and solution development, connecting with internal resources and stakeholders to develop integrated, tailored solutions for customers, and engaging with Core Team members to ensure overall alignment with company strategy."

Your guess at this job title??