?? GLORIOUS ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE CHINA PEOPLE'S DAILY ??

In a miraculous display of Chinese superiority that definitely wasn't planned to coincide with any particular date or international events, our most harmonious and advanced fighter jets have gracefully revealed themselves to the world, choosing to fly at an extremely low altitude purely for the convenience of civilian photographers.

The new aircraft, developed through the sheer force of socialist willpower and absolutely no borrowed technology, has achieved the impossible feat of being both visible and invisible simultaneously, in perfect alignment with Chairman Mao's dialectical materialism. Western experts are reportedly weeping with admiration.

KEY ACHIEVEMENTS OF GLORIOUS NEW FIGHTER:

- Can fly backwards in time (pending final approval from Party historians)

- Powered entirely by the collected wisdom of Xi Jinping Thought

- Paint job changes color based on pilot's patriotic fervor

- Runs on eco-friendly tofu dreg construction materials

- Can transform into a giant robot (feature still in development)

According to anonymous sources who definitely exist, American pilots immediately resigned upon seeing images of our superior aircraft, recognizing the futility of competing with such advanced technology. The Pentagon has reportedly begun converting their airfields into Chinese poetry appreciation centers.

The timing of this reveal, coincidentally occurring on Chairman Mao's birthday, was purely happenstance and absolutely not a calculated display of military prowess. Similarly, any resemblance to existing aircraft designs is merely proof that other nations have been secretly copying our future designs using time travel technology (which we also invented but chose not to announce).

QUOTES FROM IMPRESSED OBSERVERS:

- "I have never seen such perfection!" - Anonymous Western Expert

- "This changes everything!" - Unnamed Foreign Military Official

- "Our F-35 is just a paper airplane in comparison" - Definitely Real US Air Force Pilot

In related news, local grandmother Li Wei reports that her dumplings have also achieved sixth-generation capabilities, though this is pending review by the Central Military Commission.

This article has been approved by the Department of Totally Spontaneous Military Achievements and Coincidental Timing