A Glimpse at 20 Year Old Me

I happened to click upon a Facebook notification that took me down memory lane, 15 years ago. Seemingly, I was tagged (and back then one took these things seriously), wherein the rules were that once you've been tagged, you had to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about yourself.

Here's mine, from back then, with commentary in Italics below each 'point' on how things have evolved since then. For context - I was 20 years old, in my second year of business school at IIMA.

And if you're curious to see the original FB post head here.

Me - Uninhibited_v_Revised.

1. I drink a lot. And I am not ashamed of it.

This continued for years - until this changed. I've been sober for over 2 years now. Looking back - its telling how this was literally point no 1. I could come up with. Jeez.

2. I love experimenting with my appearance. I've tried some really crazy looks, and pulled them off decently.

This continued till recently, and I've now gravitated towards settling down on something basic, which works, and keeping it going. I sense there's some evolution on this front left - even if forced by Indian genetics accelerating my middle-age balding. :-)

3. I have very rough hands and I often wish they were soft.

Still do. Still wish they were soft. Perpetual complaint of the wife.

4. I believe it is possible to love two (or more) women with near equal passion and truthfulness at the same time.

Affection? Yes.

Love? No. I've come to realise and learn that love is wayyyyyy more than a feeling. Love is work. Hard bloody work. And I'd do well to do justice for the one person.

5. I have a messy room, always, and I like it that way.

To say this has changed would be an understatement. You are a function of your environment, and a clean, systematic, organised environment is a huge enabler of better habits and more.

6. Despite an apparently very tough exterior, I am a very sensitive person and often have emotional times.

Don't know if the former is true today - and while the years have hardened me some, I think I have my soft side intact, still.

7. I have a 'muh boli behen' in IIMA, in whose lap and shoulder I have found the strength in my weakest times. I've cried four times in IIMA, all in her arms.

While we're not as in-touch, we've spoken on and off through the years. I like to think we retain that proximity and closeness, even though we aren't a regular part of each others lives today.

8. I love my gadgets very very much and believe I make excellent choices in these matters - My iPhone, my Canon 40D, my MacBook Pro.

Continues to be true. Interestingly - minimal change on the set.

iPhone. Canon R10. M2 Air. (and Airpods, and yada yada)

9. I have a highly irritating habit of getting after people to read my blog and see my photography.

This has toned down. Not the least because I just don't blog anymore and don't upload as much of my photography. But every now and then I do find myself wishing that particular shot of a flower, that I posted on Instagram, had more likes.

10. I had this habit of exaggerating my vices. It's on the back burner now.

This stuck to me (and how I wish I learned my lessons faster, and earlier in time) for a good ten years after. I still have to remind myself to not double down, and overdo something - anything.

11. I have hurt people in my life, worse I forgave myself for those times too easily, too soon. I hate that.

Mixed bag. Forgive myself, but to yet not forget, to learn from and to be better for. This is what I have tried to do for many years now.

12. I love money. Having it, spending it, the smell of it, the look of it.

Bootstrapping a company for 5 years, and life of frugality (part choice, part constraint) will change this outlook a lot. I do absolutely love money still - and am driven by wealth creation. I enjoy spending it on what I want to spend it on - and not just because its large spends. Thrift shopping is a favourite activity for instance. I have now come to love what money enables - and my choice of playing field for what it enables is the creation and building of businesses that may leave a dent in the world.

13. I don't miss anyone. Ever.

In some ways might be true still, but I have to come to understand that missing someone also has many dimensions. Nostalgia - I do have (suffer + enjoy from). And I do miss people in my life today when they aren't around - for the motions of life one is used to going through with them, and the ripples absence creates.

14. I detest watching TV. I have been brought up in a home where there were four in the garage, but none set up. It's the biggest waste of time.

Still stand by this - though we have a TV at home now - we're getting rid of it soon. OTT got its hooks on me - but I am doing my utmost best to fight back.

15. I love sports - not watching them, on TV/live etc, but being there, playing them.

Haven't seen any in long but absolutely love it. I do binge on NBA, F1, Snooker, Poker videos - buttttttt I do have grandstand tickets for the Barcelona F1 race this year courtesy a very indulgent wife. Can't wait for the lights to go offfffff.

16. I like to wear clothes two sizes too big for me.

Most definitely was a phase. Strongly espouse well fitted clothes. Made to measure, for the things that really matter, and when you can afford it.

17. I'm not afraid of death, it freaks my parents out. I want to see my death coming.

Yea - probably the same still. I don't think about death as much, now. I think about ageing a lot. But not death.

18. I've the bestest best friends, (two - Ankit and Saniya) one could EVER ask for.

I went on to start and bootstrap a company with Ankit - and that continues to be a key inflection point in my life, and we're definitely still the closest of pals.

19. I have a thing for clean feet - like toes and all.

Still do.

20. I believe in the power of the mind. It's my biggest source of strength.

Still do. But with that power I have realised also comes a massive double edged sword of over-thinking. I have and continue to fall prey to that - something I am working on.

21. I love animals. Yet, I love eating them. I don't see anything wrong in either.

Status quo.

22. I HATE the Indian concept and traditions of marriage.

I did have my version of an Indian wedding - which turned out to be a lot of fun. Still agree with a LOT being wrong with the system and the traditions alright.

23. I believe I am quite the typical Aquarius.

I... don't know or care about this anymore tbh.

24. I'm very proud of having achieved success and climbed pedestals at a very young age, what it takes people much longer to do.

I realised that that pride - while well deserved, is stupid. Do I have a semblance of self assurance in my capabilities - yes. But I equally know I am as good as my last investment / recent portfolio - so life, and what I have to be proud about or not - is now a lot more forward looking than about the rearview mirror.

25. I oscillate between being indifferent about what people think of me, and thinking about it for hours.

Lesser oscillations. More training to be the former, but also not in a rebellious way - and still ensuring I project the best of me - not a projection that tries to project that I don't care. That was a learning actually - the difference in not caring, and yet projecting the best of you vs. thinking you don't care and projecting as if you don't.