Giving Up the Paradigm of Power Over

In leadership, the traditional paradigm of power—where control over circumstances and people is seen as a marker of success—is becoming increasingly obsolete. For centuries, we have been conditioned to believe that our sense of security, safety and influence is derived from our ability to manage and dominate our surroundings. However, this model of leadership is not only outdated, but it also fails to address the core of what true leadership and personal empowerment are all about.

The Illusion of External Control

Many leaders today still operate under the assumption that their power is directly correlated with their ability to control external factors. This belief has led to an insatiable need for more power, more control and more hold on and over things. But this pursuit is often a misguided attempt to fill an internal void—the need to feel in control of oneself and to be truly empowered.

When leaders focus on exerting control over others and circumstances, they are merely substituting “power over” for the authentic inner power they truly seek. Just as no amount of validation from outside oneself can substitute for genuine self-worth, no level of external control can replace the inner sense of purpose and self-authorship that comes from within.

External Power: A Surrogacy

Over-consumption, whether of power, material goods, substances or attention, is a symptom of a misguided quest for a deeper connection with oneself. Leaders may seek to amass power, control, and influence in an effort to feel valued, wanted and purposeful. But it can never be, and is never enough.? That’s why, when we approach things this way, we always seek more.? No one can rightfully expect a surrogate to be the same and fill the void for the real thing. External acquisitions are merely surrogates for the genuine power and influence that comes from knowing and embracing one’s true self and the value of it.

This is a common trap in leadership and in life. The more we strive to exert power over others and external situations, the more we find ourselves in a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction. No amount of control can ever truly satisfy the deep-seated need for inner connection, self-knowledge and authentic impact.

The True Source of Leadership Power

As leaders, it is essential to recognize that the desire for control over our external world is not only futile, but it’s also counterproductive. True leadership, and the power that comes with it, originates from within—from an honest understanding of one’s own value, purpose and effect. This internal power is not dependent on external circumstances or the ability to control others; it is rooted in self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-ownership.

To cultivate this inner power, leaders must shift their focus from external achievements to internal growth and intentional development. This means letting go of the need to control and dominate, and instead, turn inward to discover and connect with who they are. It is only by embracing this inner journey that leaders can find the true sense of power and purpose they seek.

Moving Forward: A Call to Action for Leaders

So many changes are going on in the world, quite frankly, because we need things to be different. The old paradigm of leadership based on external control must make room for something else. In order to substantiate change, we need to all BE the change we wish to see. Leaders must evolve by letting go of control tactics and instead focus on cultivating their inner power. This shift will not only lead to more authentic and effective leadership, but also to a greater sense of personal alignment and fulfillment.

All of us get to stop looking outside of ourselves for validation, power and meaning. The true source of these lies within, and it is only by connecting with these inner resources that we can truly leave the mark we desire and are designed to make. Support from mentors, coaches and peers is valuable, and yet, the journey to authentic leadership begins and must be intrinsically driven from within each individual. By focusing on internal empowerment rather than external control, we have the true power to transform not only our own lives, but also the organizations and communities where we lead and live.