The Giving Tree isn't a nice story

+ Two weeks from this Sunday is All Saint's Sunday, the day we remember the saints who passed from this life to the next. If you have someone you want remembered, please let us know, either by phone or email. Thank you

++ Also - we will Fall Back that weekend (Oct 31), so remember to move your time pieces BACK one hour.

Today's Thought - When our children were very young we made reading a central part of our day. I had the luxury of being able to be home with them after school, and part of that time was spent reading. At 4pm we would sit down (at least, that was the theory) for one hour and I would read to them, or they would read on their own. At night, my wife would read with them right before bedtime. The ability to read well is the core skill needed to learn - this is why I have been so committed to a program called Ready.Set.READ! in our community. This was started by the wonderful people at the United Way of Berks County, and I have been lucky enough to be a tutor and a board member.

I always tried to be responsible with what our  kids read, so I would give them fun stuff (like Captain Underpants) as well as more serious materials (like biographies). I had been told by a number of people that Shel Silverstein's books were great, especially "The Giving Tree". I bought it from a local bookstore (remember those?) and was shocked by the content. Hear me out - I like many of Silverstein's books, but this story was so disturbing that I actually wrote the publisher to complain. Here is my beef with this book.

There are two characters - a boy who grows into a man, and a tree. The story starts well - the boy uses the tree to play, and the tree loves him. The boy takes leaves to play with, climbs the tree, and has a great time eating the apples. He would nap in the tree and enjoy the shade. As he grew up, he didn't spend as much time with her. When he becomes an adolescent, he comes back and takes the apples to sell. He returns after a long time away and begins to cut limbs off of her to build a house. Again, a lot of time goes by, and when he returns, he chops the tree down to build a boat. Finally, he comes back as an old man, and she has nothing left to give him, so he ends up sitting on her nearly dead stump.

As I read this book, I wondered what the point was. The feminist inside of me was screaming: this is a story about a boy/man who uses, abuses, and finally kills a female tree. All he does is take from her, and she is happy to give - usually. In the end, he has taken everything she has, and they both have nothing left to do but die. I saw this story as a parable about male violence. Of course, when I spoke of this, I would get shocked looks and gasps - I would be lectured about what a beautiful story it was, and how could I get that interpretation? I would listen to these protests silently, and then would ask for the person's interpretation. None of them could ever give me a good answer (maybe you can). I stand by my reading of the book - I still think it is a horrible story about abuse.

Like my take on "Peanuts" this past Monday, this interpretation may not be a popular one (although a number of parents and educators agreed with me), but it matters to me because it reminds me just how imbedded these attitudes are in our lives. When you read a report about domestic violence, it rarely says that a man beat a woman to a pulp - it says she was the victim. When women are sexually assaulted, it is they who are often accused. "What were you wearing?" "Why did you lead him on?" The tree is unable to keep this boy/man from taking from her - in fact, he asks if she can give him money, or a house, or a boat, and she sacrifices herself, finally to the point of death, for his pleasure.

We are what we read - and since history is written by the winners, the stories of the abused and mistreated don't get told. The truth is that Slaves weren't happy - Native people weren't crazed killers - Eve wasn't the temptress. This isn't about Cancel Culture - it's about telling the truth. This is why checking sources, thinking critically, and considering bias matters - humans often have one-sided opinions, and we all need to be well-rounded. If you watch Fox News or CNN only, you are hearing just one side of the story. It is only by using critical thinking that we will be able to understand better. Good luck - it isn't easy.

Prayer - Help us, O God, to see all sides so that our understanding and judgment might be fair. Amen.