Giving Thanks for Other Founders

It is hard to be a founder. You think about your business 24/7. If you have employees, you think about your employees 24/7. You eat, sleep and breathe your business. From the outside, everything tends to look great - the glossy pictures, the social media posts. But the reality is, it's a struggle most days. You have the roller coaster with the ups and downs, not just daily but for some, hourly. The highs are incredibly high, and the lows are incredibly low. While it is super rewarding, it is also overwhelmingly challenging, exhausting, grueling and all encompassing.

I am sharing Matt Haber and Inc.'s newsletter from this morning. It hit me hard as soon as I read it but in a good way. You can read it below - about the fact that as founders, we rarely get a break. This is not a complaint or a whine, just a fact as a founder, business owner, entrepreneur/solopreneur however you identify yourself, we more often see failures vs. success. If you are lucky enough to have a partner, a supportive significant other, a compassionate mother, this helps but leaning on this group too much begins to weigh on the relationship. You feel guilty complaining or asking the question over and over "why did I do this again" or "is this really worth it?"

And those glossy magazines and social media don't tell the whole story. I felt a sense of relief when I read Matt's newsletter and some days you just need that, to know you are not alone. As soon as I read it, I sent the newsletter out to all of my founder friends. I got responses from almost every one with a resounding "yes" or "I needed that." Over this last 18 months, since writing a business plan for Luminary, I have been incredibly fortunate to have built a network of inspiring, motivating and empowering founders (and many other leaders) around me. They offer more than a network but a safe place to call, text, chat over a drink, and to be honest, just to be able to cry or vent.

I am thankful for the opportuniy to build and bootstrap a company and have a tremendous team around me. It's a privilege and I am grateful every day. But I want to acknowledge the founder community and the network around me that I leverage and lean on every day. This network has provide support since day one and as Luminary grows, so does that network. I couldn't do this without you. Happy Thanksgiving to the unwavering community around me. We are in this together.

When giving thanks isn't easy - Published November 27th, 2019.

Matt Haber here, Inc.’s San Francisco bureau chief and guest newsletter editor.

For many, today marks the beginning of a long weekend for Thanksgiving, and I don’t know about you, but for me it couldn’t be starting any sooner. If you’re lucky enough to have a break and be surrounded by loved ones, it’s time to relax and feel some gratitude for all the good things in your life. 

Of course, if you’re a founder and your every waking moment is consumed by building your company, it’s never easy to unplug. It may be even harder to find things to feel grateful for if you’re currently up against gnarly challenges you don’t know how to solve.

I thought of this while listening to The Anxious Achiever, a podcast from Harvard Business Review hosted by Morra Aarons-Mele. In the most recent episode (which you can listen to here), Aarons-Mele interviews Emma Mcilroy, co-founder and CEO of Wildfang, a Portland, Oregon-based fashion company. Mcilroy, who appeared on Inc. ’s Female Founders 100 list in 2018 , speaks with deep candor about the mental and emotional strain founders experience as they attempt to get their ideas off the ground. During the founding of her own company, Mcilroy had what she described as something close to a breakdown. “There are a lot of stigmas that need to be broken and this is one of them,” Mcilroy says.

Founders’ mental health is a frequent topic in Inc., most notably in Jessica Bruder’s award-winning story a few years ago, "The Psychological Price of Entrepreneurship." Bruder notes many entrepreneurs harbor secret demons: “Before they made it big, they struggled through moments of near-debilitating anxiety and despair--times when it seemed everything might crumble.” And the pressure not to reveal that struggle is real. 

One reason for not seeking help may be that the dominant narrative around startups is success followed by more success. “You get VC funding, then it’s a hockey stick up to the right and then you sell, make lots of money, and then fly around on private jets,” Mcilroy tells Aarons-Mele. “Most people don’t have that story.”

Most of the stories instead look more like successes followed by failures followed by successes that may feel like failures, and vice versa. Some businesses never achieve success; some failures become entirely unexpected successes. And there may never be a private jet. 

This holiday, if you’ve got the time, dig into those kinds of stories. Or drop me a line and tell me yours. Just know that you’re part of a bigger community that’s grappling with the same issues you are. Thank you for reading, and see you back here on Monday.