Giving and Receiving Feedback

As feedback enables personal development, it is essential for personal development and of enormous importance for a good and trusting cooperation.? Giving and receiving feedback is often regarded as difficult and also unpleasant. It is clear that optimal feedback requires some practice and experience. The more often people receive constructive feedback, the easier it will be for them to accept it. It is like many other things: In the beginning, it is difficult, but the more often we do it, the easier it gets.

In this article, I will share feedback "rules of the game". I will share my experience on how to receive feedback not only when offered by colleagues, but also proactively request it from people who are important to you.

GAME RULES FOR FEEDBACK PROVIDERS:

1. The right time and right place. Feedback can be emotionally stirring. You don't give feedback between "door to door" and when being under time pressure. Just as important as the right time is the right environment. It is best to give feedback in private and create a pleasant and safe atmosphere for the receiver, as this increases the probability that the feedback is accepted better.?A common mistake we make when giving feedback is that we do not check whether the receiver is ready. So that your feedback can be as effective as possible, we should in any case check whether the counterpart really wants to receive feedback. The feedback receiver can say: "Today I don't like it at all, but tomorrow I would have time (and possibly also the right mood)".
2. The feedback provider does not have the absolute truth. It is very important at the beginning of a feedback conversation to make clear that it is only a matter of the feedback provider's point of view. It is not the absolute truth or the only possible view, but a part of reality. It serves to enable the feedback recipient to use it.
3. Concrete examples and first-person messages. The feedback provider is clear and concrete and describes what he or she is concerned about without any evaluation. Current examples, that were experienced personally make sense. Bringing up other people's sayings and generalizations should be avoided. The impressions and examples are to be formulated in first-person messages. “You”-Messages are to be avoided. So instead of the you-message "You never listen to me and constantly look at your mobile phone" a first-person message could be: "I see you are looking at your mobile phone. That makes me angry because I'm telling you something important and I wish you'd pay attention to it."
4. Don't overload feedback recipients. What is important for any feedback is that it should also be usable for the recipient. For this reason, it is important to ensure that not too much information is sent. So it's better to have shorter feedback at shorter intervals, rather than big feedback that overloads your counterpart. Likewise, no claims are to be made. Demands belong in another discussion and have no place in feedback. The feedback recipient decides whether he or she wants to change the behavior or not.

GAME RULES FOR FEEDBACK RECIPIENTS:

1. Feedback is an offer. A basic requirement is that the feedback recipient wants to hear the feedback and accepts it. Those who receive unsolicited feedback, are most likely to switch internally to defense and the "teachings” will just bounce off. The feedback recipient decides about the readiness for feedback in the current situation. If not, he or she says he or she doesn't want feedback at the moment.
2. Feedback needs no justification. Feedback recipients do not justify or explain themselves. They only accept the feedback and know that this is exclusively the perception of the feedback provider. When taking feedback it is important to let the other person finish and listen carefully.
3. Clarify comprehension questions and summarize core messages. If something about the feedback is unclear, then ask. So the optimal benefit from the feedback can be granted. Caution: do not fall into justifying! Additionally, it makes sense to summarize the core messages in their own words at the end of the meeting to?make sure that everything was properly understood.
4. Processing feedback. When all comprehension questions have been clarified, the feedback recipient thanks the feedback provider and allows the whole thing to settle first. Mostly, we are not able to really acknowledge or accept the important points right after the discussion. This can change if we rethink the conversation after a bit of time has passed.
5. Using feedback correctly. You can learn from any feedback. Use the parts of the feedback that are useful as gifts and ignore anything you perceive as harmful, as feedback should function as support to develop you further.

FEEDBACK TOOLS - GIVE AND RECEIVE FEEDBACK

Designing a feedback culture isn’t something that just happens; it’s intentional. Practice makes it perfect. When feedback happens routinely, it becomes expected and we get better at it. It’s important to integrate Feedback into everyday operations. There is not only one way to give or receive feedback. Use different channels and consider what type of feedback would be most effective for the setting, giver, and receiver such as attributed vs. anonymous, 1-on-1 vs. 360 feedback, individual vs. group, or face-to-face vs. written. Below are my favorite feedback tools:

Walk & Talk [30 Minutes]

In which situation tool applicable? The heads are smoking and there is no good progress. Then you can suggest getting out of the office or event room for exchanging ideas and giving feedback during Walk & Talk.

What is the goal? The method is suitable for opening up and discussing something acutely important. This can be more content-related or personal.

How is it done? Two people go for a walk, exchange, and give feedback. It is important that the exchange takes place on the move. This makes the head particularly free so that new thoughts and ideas can arise.

Systematic Feedback [45 minutes]

In which situation is it applicable? If, after an analysis phase, momentum is to be achieved, e.g. in a team workshop, and the desire to is to get into "acting."

What is the goal? Looking forward in the team and discussing initial solutions to a question. How is it done? What do we like? What wishes do we have? What questions have arisen? What initial ideas and proposed solutions have we found?

Deep dive feedback to develop expectations [90 minutes]

In which situation is it applicable? Retrospectives serve to analyze the progress of the project in order to jointly identify errors as well as to learn from positive experiences. The method is suitable for project groups and feedback rounds in workshops or team retreats.

What is the goal? Through fair and constructive feedback from all team members, the teamwork is continuously improved and the course of the project was positively influenced. The goal is always to show appreciation for colleagues and at the same time to reduce one's own blind spot with regard to personal improvement potential. The feedback process in teams with a very heterogeneous structure is challenging:?For example, if the customer's employees belong to the team, or in project groups consisting of employees of several organizational units. Here, there are often inhibitions that hinder open and honest exchange.

How is it done??

Step 1: Determine expectations [approx. 5-10 minutes] The retrospective begins with a self-reflection of the participants: What do I expect from the team? What can I expect from myself?

Step 2: Written feedback rounds [3 minutes per round] In the feedback round, all participants should note the following two sentences on their personal sheet of paper: What I appreciate about your work. What I wish for you to get successful.

Afterward, each participant passes on his or her sheet to the neighbor. He or she answers both questions in writing. The moderator should emphasize that the answers are not related to the person but to the work performed. Aspects already noted down by other team members may not be repeated, but can be specified or explained by concrete examples, where appropriate. This part of the task is repeated until each participant has his or her personal sheet in front of them again. The result: Everyone has written down both praise and potential for improvement for everyone.

Step 3: Self-reflection [10 minutes] The retrospective now changes again from mutual feedback to self-reflection. Everyone reads his or her own personal feedback noted on the sheet by the other team members. Participants can ask comprehension questions about their feedback Here the moderator must explicitly pay attention to the team dynamics: Accusations and justifications must be prevented. If necessary, basic feedback rules should be repeated before entering the dialog, for example, sending a first-person message. In addition, the following questions can help to set personal priorities, which is why two areas on the sheet are intended for: What am I proud of? What do I take with me?

Step 4: The mirroring [2 minutes/participant] Following the self-reflection, each participant tells the other team members which of the aspects was most important to him or her personally. In order to actually make changes, each person should select only one or two focal points. The decision of what to make transparent to the team and what not has to be made individually. Participants can ask their colleagues for support with regard to certain aspects.?

Step 5: The end [1-2 minutes/participants] At the end, everyone should briefly explain what surprised him or her about this feedback round and/or what he or she liked.

Step 6: Ensure sustainability. The moderator encourages the participants to look at and reflect on their feedback over and over again. He or she can also actively remind the team after a few weeks. Often it is useful to organize a further retrospective, either building on the previous one or repeating in the same form.?

Hope you enjoyed reading it! Looking forward to your comments and feedback.

Very truly yours,

ILona B. Schukina