Giving Managers the Right Tools for Tough Conversations

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As HR professionals, one of our key roles is coaching managers on how to navigate tough conversations. Whether it’s addressing performance issues, behavioral concerns, or team dynamics.

Giving managers the right tools can make these conversations smoother and more effective. Below is a simple framework along with key phrases managers can use in common workplace scenarios.

I once worked with a manager who avoided tough conversations at all costs. Whenever there was an issue with one of his direct reports, he would ask me to step in and have the conversation for him—he didn’t want to be the “bad guy.” Over time, this created a dynamic where employees didn’t take his authority seriously because they knew HR would always deliver the tough feedback. I realized that if I kept stepping in, he would never grow as a leader.

Instead, I coached him using the same framework in this guide. Slowly but surely, he started addressing concerns directly, and not only did his confidence grow, but his team also began to respect him more. This experience reinforced for me that coaching managers to handle their own tough conversations doesn’t just help them—it strengthens the entire team.

DOWNLOAD my "HR’s Quick Guide to Coaching Managers" for practical tips on handling these situations.

Here are three conversations managers struggle with—and how you can help them handle them successfully.

1. Addressing Poor Performance

Many managers worry that giving negative feedback will damage morale—my experience has been that when you do not address poor performance, it upsets your top performers and they will either disengage or stop putting in the effort. Over time, this can lead to resentment, team frustration, and an overall decline in productivity. Employees want fairness, and when they see underperformers facing no consequences, motivation drops across the board.

Suggested Script:?“[Employee’s name], I want to talk about your recent performance. I’ve noticed that [specific issue], and I want to understand why this is happening. My goal is to support you, but we also need to see improvement in [specific area]. Let’s come up with a plan to help you succeed. What do you need from me to help make these changes?”

HR Coaching Tip:?Encourage managers to focus on facts, avoid blame, and collaborate on a solution. Role-playing this conversation with them can help boost their confidence.

2. Managing Workplace Conflict

Ignoring workplace conflict is like ignoring a leaky pipe—it only gets worse over time. When managers fail to address team tension, it can spiral into toxicity, disengagement, and even turnover. Employees start to take sides, productivity declines, and suddenly, what was once a minor disagreement has become a major disruption.

Suggested Script:?"I’ve noticed some tension between you and [other employee’s name], and I want to understand what’s going on so we can find a solution. What’s your perspective on the situation? It’s important that we work together as a team."

HR Coaching Tip:?Teach managers to remain neutral (do not take sides), listen actively, and guide the conversation toward solutions rather than blame. Encourage them to follow up to ensure progress is being made.

3. Handling a Termination Conversation

When managers avoid terminating underperforming employees, it signals that accountability doesn’t matter. Other employees notice, and frustration builds—especially among those carrying the extra workload. Delayed terminations also make it harder for managers, as the employee may become even more disengaged or problematic over time.

Note:? Terminations should never be a surprise to an employee. If done correctly, there should have already been conversations, write-ups, or possibly a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) in place. Employees should be aware of their standing within the company and have had the opportunity to correct their behavior before termination becomes necessary.

Suggested Script:?“[Employee’s name], this is a difficult conversation, but today will be your last day with [company name]. This decision was made because [brief, objective reason]. I want to thank you for your contributions, and HR will walk you through the next steps.”

HR Coaching Tip:?Remind managers to keep it brief, factual, and respectful. Role-playing can be especially helpful for reducing anxiety before the conversation.

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We talk a lot about technical skills in this newsletter, but soft skills are just as important, especially when it comes to leadership. Coaching managers to handle tough conversations effectively doesn’t just make their jobs easier—it builds stronger leaders, boosts team morale, and reduces HR’s need to step in.

Next time a manager hesitates to address an issue, remind them: The hardest part is starting—but with the right approach, they’ll get better every time.

HR's Quick Guide to Coaching Managers

Helping managers with tough conversations is one of HR’s most important (and challenging) responsibilities. This resource provides clear, practical scripts and strategies to help managers communicate effectively in common workplace situations.

Whether they need to address absenteeism, office gossip, or give tough feedback, this guide will equip them with the right words and approach to lead with confidence.

This is just one of the many resources available in the extended 2.0 version of our newsletter, where you’ll also find templates, checklists and videos to elevate your HR game.

Don’t miss out— CLICK HERE for immediate access and take your skills to the next level!

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