Giving feedback from a distance
While it's always better to share feedback face to face, it's not always possible. We're still sorting our way through the new realities of work. Schedules are scattered. Teams are dispersed. Talking about performance goals and growth from a distance is still uncharted territory, which is why so many people feel like they're navigating without a compass. Feedback delivered over a screen can feel aimless and impersonal.
If you're one of those people tasked with sharing feedback over the phone, Zoom or Slack, make these practices a priority —? they'll help you bridge the divide and ease the discomfort.
Plot the conversation.
Simply rehearsing?the steps and sequence of an action can lead to concrete improvement. It's helpful to engage in “shadow practice” before heading into a potentially charged conversation, especially when you’re not physically present. Start by imagining yourself in prime communication form: Calibrated voice. Measured tone. Open posture. These visioning exercises will prepare you for optimal performance when it counts.?
Once you’ve established your presence, think about the conversation from the receiver's point of view. What arguments will be made? What objections will be raised? How is he or she?likely to respond to your position? Can you counter with additional evidence or arguments? Laying out the conversation ahead of time will help you stay calm and focused in the moment, especially if it takes an awkward turn.
Shrink the problem.?
When we’re not talking to people?face to face, issues can become enlarged and distorted. This leads others to?resist feedback and retreat to the safety of?ideas and actions?they already trust. This so-called endowment effect is a powerful countermeasure?that?may produce?unwanted defensiveness, distrust?and escalation. When feedback can't be shared in person, the best way to solve big problems is to make them?smaller.?
Instead of delivering a sweeping critique, try right-sizing?your feedback so that it focuses only on a few specific and recent events. Avoid an information dump; few people can simultaneously juggle more than a few ideas at once.?Communicating in a slow drip rather than a sudden burst increases the likelihood that others can act on your feedback?with greater clarity, conviction and comfort.?
One of my clients, an international software developer,?made good use of this shrinking strategy. Instead of delivering months of narrative feedback at the end of a quarter, managers shared micro messages with their team throughout the week and wrote short summaries every Friday. These small exchanges?have?paid big dividends, as the frequency and fluency of these conversations have kept the feedback loop tight.?
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Widen the feedback circle.?
People rarely get better all by themselves, but it’s especially difficult to take criticism from someone who seems distant. A good remedy is the creation of “challenge networks,” small-group cohorts?where feedback takes on a more intimate dynamic.
Ask employees to suggest 2-3 colleagues for their challenge network based on compatibility and trust.?Members of the group provide just-in-time?guidance and support, widening the feedback circle and keeping communication lines open. Once managers help convene these forums, they maintain a?respectful distance —?leaving room for candid talk without fear of repercussion.
Not only do challenge networks alleviate the feedback burden placed on managers, but they also add new layers and depth to the picture of performance. Helping your team find additional sources of support (and even the occasional nudge) can go a long way towards easing?the isolation many workers may experience while working apart from peers.
Our new work-from-anywhere world is full of challenges, but it also has its share of opportunities. Making sure that people receive well-formed, right-sized feedback that draws on multiple sources is one way to support them from a distance — all while building a stronger sense of team rapport, collaboration and connection that helps people thrive, no matter where their work gets done.??
Keep fixing,
Joe
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Dr. Joe Hirsch is the managing director of Semaca Partners, a?TEDx?and?international keynote speaker, and the author of "The Feedback Fix." His work and research has been featured in Harvard Business Review, Forbes, CNBC, The Wall Street Journal, Inc. and other major outlets. He also hosts the popular podcast,?I Wish They Knew.