Giving Feedback is Difficult!
? Darcy Luoma ?
Creator of Thoughtfully Fit? | Master Certified Coach | Professional Speaker | Author | Dynamic Facilitator ? Reach out to us at (262) 563-3522
I recently heard something at the end of a call that shocked me.
It wasn’t a scheduled meeting. It was a call I had to make because things weren’t going well with a vendor we were working with. Suffice to say, we weren’t getting the experience we were paying for, so I needed to give some tough feedback.?
At the end of the call, the vendor said to me, “You’re really good at this! You’re a natural at tough conversations.”
I laughed. “Ha, quite the opposite! I used to avoid conversations like this at all costs.”
We hear all the time from clients who hesitate to provide feedback, despite knowing they should. Here are four typical obstacles to feedback. Can you relate to any of them?
So is the solution to wait to give feedback until you have a free day, there’s no fear of a negative response, and you know exactly what to say? Wouldn’t that be nice! Unfortunately, if you want to wait until all the obstacles are gone before giving feedback, you’ll be waiting a very long time.
When we’re Thoughtfully Fit, we don’t try to eliminate obstacles, but rather we develop the Endurance needed to acknowledge those obstacles and take action anyway. So then the question becomes: How can we effectively give feedback to team members despite these obstacles?
Designing feedback conversations
If you’ve ever had a difficult feedback conversation, you’ll know how hard it is to discuss best practices for meaningful conversations in the heat of the moment! It follows that the best time to design feedback conversations is before there’s any feedback to give. That way, you have a plan in place for when the moment comes (as it’s generally best to provide feedback as timely as possible for greatest impact).?
Want to give a colleague or employee feedback in a way they find helpful that leads to improved business results? Try asking them what their preferences are for how they receive feedback!?
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Some specific questions you can ask include:
1. What format do they want to receive the feedback in??
2. How direct do they want you to be when giving feedback??
3. After you provide feedback, when do they want to discuss next steps??
There’s no right or wrong here; it’s all about discovering individual preferences. It’s also worth noting that you won’t always be able to meet their exact preferences, but you greatly increase your odds of the conversation going well if you know in advance how they prefer to receive feedback!
Core workout
So here’s your core workout to help you prepare to give feedback to someone. The more you train using this workout, the more you’ll be able to avoid feeling hesitant about giving feedback.
If only we could find out from everyone we work with how they prefer their feedback. Oh wait. You can! Go design some feedback conversations and let us know how it works for you.
Thank you ? Darcy Luoma ? and team for this reminder and practical tools! We can never have enough practice or resources on this topic!!!
Teamwork is the single greatest advantage you can have in today's complex workplace
1 年This is an incredible post - and one that needs to be said. too many (leaders and non leaders alike) need to hear. In our OPT (On-Purpose Teams) system we talk about the power of sharing knowledge and when you look at giving feedback as the sharing of knowledge, with the understanding that sharing is a two way street, providing feedback (both positive & negative) becomes easier. Thanks for sharing - and getting a conversation moving forward -- YOU ROCK!