Giving Appropriate Thanks

Maybe it seems a bit trifling, but when my wife:

·??????Picks her brain for gift ideas

·??????Makes her list

·??????Drives to the mall or searches online

·??????Buys the card

·??????Mails the gift and card…

then perhaps the gift receiver could say ‘thanks. The gift receiver could pick up the phone, send a text, or better yet, send a thank you card via snail mail.

While it’s true that the gift is in the giving, and we don’t give gifts just to be thanked, we would like to know if the gift was received, much less opened, appropriate, or appreciated. Then there have been occasions when a gift has been sent to a niece or nephew and the mundane thankyou note appears to be a close match for their mother’s handwriting.

Gifts are one of the many occasions that require of a grateful mature person to write a thankyou note. Here are a few examples of worthy events:

·??????After a fantastic dinner hosted by a friend

·??????Hospitality at a friend’s after an overnight visit

·??????After any job interview

·??????Anytime the service you received was excellent or someone took an extra step to assist you (both professionally and personally)

Here are few other events to send a sincere note of thanks:

·??????Just after you meet your special someone’s family the first time

·??????When you leave a job on good terms (the note should be to your immediate supervisor, your peers and those that immediately reported to you)

During my senior year of high school, near graduation, my Mom gave me the very first gift. I ripped that sucker open (hoping for a check) and found a large box of thankyou notes with a gold ‘G’ on the front of each card. The box also contained several sheets of postage stamps and a handwritten note from Mom. It read:

1.??????A thankyou note will be mailed within one day of any receipt of a graduation gift.

2.??????If two or more gifts are received on the same day, then the thankyou note was to be written for each gift before the next could be opened.

3.??????Each thankyou note must be personalized, mention the gift given, and how I would use the gift at college.

Gregg, here is how you can remember how to write a proper thankyou note, remember the word PLEASE.

Each thankyou note must be:

P for Prompt and Personal

L for Legible – you are graduating from high school, act like it!

E for Enthusiastic – be happy, someone just gave you a gift!

A for Accurate – what does the gift mean to you?

S for Sincere

E for End with a summary and final thanks

Here’s an example to use (and write Legibly)

Dear Aunt Quincy,

Today (Prompt), I got the $25 check (Accurate)you mailed. I was so happy (Enthusiastic) to see you at graduation. Thanks for being there to help me celebrate my big day. I have opened a savings account and will use this money this fall for supplies and to set up my dorm room.

Aunt Quincy (End with a summary), thanks again for the generous gift. I will keep you updated on my college activities.

Love,

Gregg

I abided by the rules Mom set for each gift. I sent a prompt legible handwritten note to each gift giver. Then on one day I receive two gifts in the mail. One was from a family friend, a nice lady from our church. The other gift was from Uncle Bobby who always gave great gifts – money!

In fact, my siblings and I called him Uncle Money. Wanting to save the best for last, I tore into the nice church lady’s gift and cringed. I peered into the box and saw a ‘Rockyish’ pair or red, white, and blue silk shorts. Fittingly, while studying for my English IV final, I had just learned the meaning of the word ‘nugatory’ (it means worthless), and it really described the shorts worth to me.

Now before I could open the gift from Uncle Money, I had to compose a Prompt, Legible, Enthusiastic, Sincere, End with a summary thankyou note to the nice church lady who obviously wanted me to model for her. Here’s the letter I wrote (the parts in parenthesis are my thoughts at the time).

Dear nice church lady,

Thank you for the silk red, white, and blue boxer shorts I received today. I wanted to write you as soon as possible (so I could open Uncle Money’s gift) to thank you for the generous and thoughtful gift. It is obvious you put a lot of thought into the gift (perhaps, way too much). I will think of you when I wear the shorts to the gym (when pigs fly and he _ _ double hockey sticks freezes open).

Sincerely,

Gregg Golson

I finished the note, addressed the envelope, then tore into Uncle Money’s gift and found… you know I don’t even remember. I am sure it was a great gift and a beautiful card (picked out by his wonderful wife, Aunt Peggy). The effort to write the darn thankyou note for those dadgum shorts is by far my biggest memory of that day.

I did learn a valuable lesson that spring, a sense of gratefulness and the skill of writing a thankyou note. I have applied this skill many, many times since then. And it is noticed.

Less than two years after graduation, the lesson did prove valuable. My dad was a longtime employee and superintendent of the local paper mill. I was able to work there summers to earn triple what my friends did at their summer jobs. I saved the money to pay the tuition for college.

Due to cutbacks, instead of hiring over 50 college summer workers, the mill cut back to three during my sophomore summer at college. Two of the college workers were picked because their dads were division presidents. The person in charge of hiring summer worker got to pick the third worker. He told me there were two reasons why I as chosen as the third worker:

·??????First, I had an excellent work ethic and attitude.

·??????Second, in the 25 years he led the summer worker program, I was the only worker to ever send him a thankyou note at the end of the summer. I also send out unique thank you gifts (like photo-statuettes to people I co-present with at conferences).

I still write a lot of thankyou notes. The first year I joined Bracken Engineering, I wrote over 750, including notes to both Mr. and Mrs. Bracken.

There are several reasons to send thankyou notes:

·??????It shows you are grateful, mature, and professional

·??????It let people know your momma and daddy raised you properly

·??????It lets people know you have good old fashion etiquette skills

·??????It gives you practice for the really important thankyou notes

We just cleared Thanksgiving and are headed into the holiday season. Remember to say P.L.E.A.S.E. to say thank you. I sincerely want to thank you for reading my column. Forgive me if I don’t send each of you a personal note.