Giving – An act of love

May 1993 - I took a bus to visit my parents in Bikaner as summer break had just begun at my college in Jaipur. I had to change buses while en route, but during the first portion of the journey, I misplaced my wallet, leaving me without any cash. I was unsure of how to get on another bus and what to do next. Back then, there were no mobile phones, so I was simply sitting in the middle of a station and considering using a phone booth to call my family. Someone suddenly gave me a shoulder tap and asked whether I was okay. I shared with him what happened. He listened to me, and then he gave me money. I requested him to identify himself, but he refused and left after our brief exchange. After 30 years, I can still clearly recall those kind eyes and the unexpected support I got in what could have been a difficult situation for me.

May 1998 - It was a scorching summer afternoon in Bikaner, Rajasthan. My production facility was on the highway, and I was traveling back to?the city with my driver. I suddenly noticed several people lying down on the road. A major accident had just?occurred. One person out of the nine was already deceased. We acted quickly, helped the villagers put them into our car, and then drove them to the hospital. They weren't all safe for several days, and when they finally were, I exhaled with relief. The immediate help saved their lives.

Even after all these years, I can still clearly recall these events as a photographic memory. What is so unique about it while there may be umpteen examples from recent past that I may not remember that well. After all these years, I've come to understand that giving without expecting anything in return brings about life's purest joy and fulfillment.

Now as I consider real-world situations, I see that we almost always expect something in return for our contributions. Whether it is expectation of money for providing goods and services in business or expectation of love/care/acknowledgement while taking care of others in relationships. We have expectation of returns when we decide to provide something. While the initial purpose of business/work is physical survival, having healthy relationships serve the purpose of thriving and attaining fulfillment in life. Now let's explore this inherent question: Although our primary purpose of business or work is entirely different from our purpose of relationships, our actions at both the places still follow the same patterns. In fact, when our physical survival is not in jeopardy, we keep operating from the same give-and-take mindset at work too. Is that the cause of dissatisfaction or lack of fulfillment in life?

My personal experiences made me?realize that this is the root of the dissatisfaction. Giving is usually accompanied with an expectation of reciprocity. When we receive, we become overexcited, and when we do not, we become disheartened. Harmony is missing in both the?scenarios. Giving without expecting anything in return can be challenging, but it can also be tremendously liberating and crucial for healthy relationships.

We free ourselves from the urge to control the circumstance or the individual when we offer without any ulterior motives. The universe will take care of the rest when we simply give for the sake of giving.

When we can offer without expecting anything in return, we are acting out of pure love and compassion. That's a beautiful thing, too. Because of this, I always treasure the moments in my life when I contributed of myself in the most genuine way as mentioned in examples above.

Let's examine why, when we give, our minds automatically assume?we will receive something in return. Where these instinctive responses originate? I've observed that when someone close to me blames me, I immediately become upset, feel horrible, or respond in a similar way. For instance, if someone hits my car, my instant reaction is to fight. I feel low?when the effort I have put in is not acknowledged. From where this automaticity of reactions come?

Let me attempt to address this question from my understanding and learning so far. A few thousand years ago, when small tribes had to constantly hunt and gather food to exist, the survival attitude must have first manifested in humans. Back then, putting one's own needs before others' was a means of surviving, and one only gave if there were still resources available. "I need to take care of myself first" was a common practice?back then. We developed a reliance on one another starting with the agricultural revolution, continuing through the industrial revolution, and in the modern era. We began exchanging goods and services, first via the use of a barter system, then subsequently through the use of money. Thoughts like "I need to take care of myself first" remain ingrained in our minds?throughout.

Our seasoned mindset of survival takes over in most of the situations whether in relationships or anywhere else. So what is the problem in that? When I started writing this article, I was also thinking the kind of deeply-rooted concern I am addressing here. The issue, in my view, is why there is still such a great deal of dissatisfaction in life, given all the evolution and development. Can anything be done about that?

The world has moved from survival to competitive to collaborative gradually over the centuries. Basic survival may require some initial giving and getting in exchange, but carrying on as usual everywhere even when survival is not in risk is a recipe for misery. Giving and taking are no longer vital for existence in the present world, in my opinion, because of how drastically things have changed. We may give one place and may get from other places. We don’t complain when we get more or get from unexpected sources then why complain when we don’t get from expected sources. And when we get attached to the return from specific places, we are definitely up for surprises. The question here is, what kind of world would we live in if we adopted a gratitude mindset, stopped worrying when we received less than we expected, and started being grateful for everything instead? If I talk about myself, I am truly grateful for what I got in life.

In actuality, the game's rules have been substantially altered. We are caught in a vicious cycle of life the more we are obsessed with our own survival. Today’s world needs people who have outward focus - who can give love and provide leadership.?

Through my own experiences in life as I’ve mentioned above and observing people around me, I can say that people who just give as an expression of love are the most fulfilled people. Additionally, I've found that they receive so much?from places other than what they anticipated. May be it happens by virtue of demand of love and leadership in the world. It is like people are just waiting for love and leadership, and whosoever provides that love and leadership, the nature automatically takes care of them.

You may think that if I just give, some people might mistreat it or I may end up with less. But don't you believe that individuals can only mistreat us if we place certain expectations on them in return? In case we do not, whatever they do will only affect them and not us. Isn't this way of life wonderful? Living purposefully means making our own decisions and refusing to react to how other people treat us.

If we look around, there is always a childhood friend, a professor from college, or that school teacher who was there for us through thick and thin. Such individuals occasionally enter our lives with the sole purpose of bringing out the best in us. We will always remember those people in our lives. Fulfillment and freedom emerge from this. But what is required to consistently experience freedom, fulfillment, and joy in life? I believe that it is only possible when we chose to be that source who give to everyone, everywhere, and at all times without expecting anything in return.

Recently, I've watched interviews of Dr. Rajendra Singh, a renowned environmentalist who won the Stockholm Water Prize in 2015 for his work bringing water to a thousand villages in India. Although he is not a wealthy man, I have noticed that he is very tranquil and pleased with what he has contributed to the world. This is a powerful illustration of how giving without expecting anything?in return from people?will inspire others. There are countless instances of businesspeople who, when their survival is not under jeopardy, made significant contributions to society and nation-building. Can we start with our loved ones, then go on to the workplace and finally the community?

The idea of giving without expecting anything in return can be challenging to understand. Giving from a pure place is when we give without expecting anything in return. Giving from the heart means that we are doing it out of genuine love. We give not because we expect something in return, but because we want to make a difference in the world. We are truly living in the moment when we can contribute without holding anything back. We are not considering what we will receive in return; rather, we are concentrating on the very?act of giving. Giving in this way is fun, meaningful, beautiful, fulfilling and gratifying.