Give Yourself Permission

If there is one thing our human brain loves it’s a normal, predictable, and safe environment.?

As far as our brain is concerned, anything outside the norm is potentially dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. Our brain protects us from physical dangers, like warning us not to step out into traffic and from more social and emotional dangers like warning us not to voice our real opinion in case we are humiliated or put-down by others.?

One way of setting yourself up to step outside the norm is by giving yourself (and your brain) a permission slip.?

In the education world, for students to leave the school grounds they require a permission slip. A permission slip is required because the student is going outside of their normal, predictable, and safe environment.?

In Dare to Lead Brene` Brown talks about how her team meetings often begin with people writing themselves a permission slip for how they want to show up in the meeting that day. They give themselves permission for a whole lot of things including: asking questions when unsure, calling for a break when needed, asking for time to think before offering an opinion.

What would it be like if each morning as part of getting clear on how you want to show up, you gave yourself permission for one specific action/thought/emotion/behaviour? Your permission slip might be for work or home or somewhere else.?

What would you give yourself permission to do/think/feel/say?

Possible permissions:

• permission to sit and eat lunch
• permission to say ‘I have done enough today’ and pack up your work
• permission to make time to connect and laugh with a loved one
• permission to take time to read/meditate/exercise today
• permission to say ‘No’

I’ll be trialling including this in my morning routine. I know that tomorrow I have an all day meeting to attend and I’ll be giving myself permission to speak up and ask to bring the meeting back to the agenda when necessary.?

As I write that I feel a bit nervous about doing it. That’s ok. It’s my human brain trying to keep me in a safe place.?And here is the really important bit: a permission slip is not a ‘must do’. It’s permission to take the action but it’s not an instruction that you have to do it. This is important for us (and our brain!) to know. If during my meeting tomorrow I just can’t bring myself to speak up about getting back to the agenda, that’s ok, the only consequence for me is boredom or frustration. There’s no failure or judgement.

#GroundedLeadership #KatrinaBourke #Leadership #AuthenticLeadership