Give yourself permission to be human

On the Other Side of Fear lies Freedom

Fear is a topic I have explored in my speaking and writing for years. It is one of the seven themes in my Project Peak, Climbing the Mountains of Life - Business and Beyond.?

What is your greatest fear?

We all have fears. “What is Your Greatest Fear?” Fear increases when unaddressed. How can you channel fear to your advantage??

28% of American adults reported symptoms of an anxiety disorder in the prior two weeks (source: Jan ‘23 federal Household Pulse survey). ?How can doing anxiety provoking activities actually help us be less anxious??

Andrea Petersen’s recent article in The Wall Street Journal, “Therapists Get Anxious, Too. Here’s What They Do” included interviews with therapists and the surprising strategies they have for themselves.?

Seek out the scary

Dr Karen Lynn Cassiday, a clinical psychologist and managing director of The Anxiety Treatment Center of Greater Chicago, seeks out scary experiences while on vacation.

She has jumped off a cliff into a cenote in Mexico and hiked on narrow, vertigo-inducing trails in Bhutan. She believes doing these things has made her braver in her everyday life.

Experiencing temporary fright can be good for your body by releasing antioxidants to fight cellular damage, thereby strengthening the immune system.?Your body releases endorphins. Your body releases dopamine.?Your heart rate speeds up.?Oxygen and blood flow into your muscles to give you more energy.

Getting off the waitlist - walking my own talk

I experienced this last Friday evening.?I was in my first public piano performance in over four decades, and my first as an adult. I said “yes” when asked if I wanted to be put on the waitlist to perform that evening.?

When I got off the waitlist, I thought I had over a couple of months to prepare.?When I realized I had just a couple of weeks, I didn’t ask to be removed. I decided I needed to step outside my comfort zone, like I suggest my coaching clients do. I needed to walk my own talk.

And besides, Presto and Ruggero are both safe environments where performers and audience support and build up each other. (“Psychological Safety - that’s the ticket”).?What did I really have to fear? ?

Sweaty Palms

I had asked to be placed on the Ruggero’s Fourth Friday Concert program early, so I was third up.?My palms grew increasingly sweaty as each minute passed. Even though I was playing with my music, I started to have these fear filled thoughts that I would go up to the B?sendorfer concert grand piano and forget which of the keys coordinated with the notes on the music!

I was the newest member of the Presto group performing that evening, I was also the least prepared having only practiced Schumann’s "Tr?umerei" from Scenes from Childhood for a few weeks.

As my turn approached, I took deep and slow breaths, and it seemed my dress could not keep pace with absorbing the increasing flow of sweat from my?palms. As I slowly walked to the stage and?sat in front of the magnificent concert grand, I thankfully didn’t forget which keys were which, but I did stumble on a few of the notes.?My playing was far from perfect, with mistakes starting within the first few seconds, but I kept moving forward. ?

Permission to be human

As my Happiness teacher, Tal Ben-Shahar, tells us so often, we must give ourselves “the permission to be human.”?

So I did, nerves, mistakes, and all! I gave myself permission to be happy with my performance, and proud of myself for stepping way outside my comfort zone.?

The audience was kind and supportive and many thanked me for sharing Schumann’s beautiful work, "Tr?umerei"....often translated as "Dreaming."

My hat’s off to you!?You have far more steel in your nerves than I do.

Very impressed that you jumped into the action so soon after joining. So good to have you part of the group!

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Comparison is the thief of joy

As the least advanced member of Presto, I could easily compare and put myself down. Years ago, my yoga teacher shared a quote that has stuck with me ever since: Comparison is the thief of joy. ?

Having grown up with a sister who has two degrees from Juilliard and competed internationally, I had given up on piano early in life as I had focused on the comparison, and that was the thief of my joy.?

Decades later, in honoring the memory of our mom, my first teacher, playing piano has become a joy and having my sister along with Teddy to teach me is a blessing.?

Who you surround yourself is who you become

Last week, I shared “who you surround yourself is who you become.”?Everyone’s performances were beautiful and our youngest member, Danny, performed Scriabin’s Sonata No. 5, Op. 53 magnificently.?

I later learned that he was a music scholarship recipient at UNC where he also earned a degree in computer science.?His whole team from Google was there to cheer his playing on. It was heart-warming to see.

I am looking forward to surrounding myself with people like Danny, and in ensuring years have my playing sound more like theirs!

About Grace Ueng

Grace is CEO of Savvy Growth, a leadership coaching and management consultancy founded in 2003. Her great passion to help leaders and the companies they run achieve their fullest potential combined with her empathy and ability to help leaders figure out their “why” are what clients value most.?A specialty is conducting 360s in order to help leaders become more self aware and uncover their blind spots.

Companies hire her firm for leadership coaching and strategy consulting as well as to?facilitate HappinessWorks? programs, infusing the happiness advantage into corporate culture, leading to higher productivity and results. ?

A marketing strategist, Grace held leadership roles at five high growth technology ventures that successfully exited through acquisition or IPO. She started her career at Bain & Company and then worked in brand management at Clorox and General Mills. She earned her undergraduate degree from MIT and MBA from Harvard Business School.

Grace and her partner, Rich Chleboski, accomplished cleantech veteran, develop and implement strategies to support the growth of impact-focused companies and then coach their leaders in carrying out their strategic plans. Their expertise spans all phases of the business from evaluation through growth and liquidity.?