Give Yourself Permission to be HERE

Give Yourself Permission to be HERE

Not too long ago I was annoyed at my mother in law who said something like “How can you enjoy life if you’re always playing on that phone?” I bristled. “I’m working, and I wouldn’t be able to take time off to come to the beach with you if I couldn’t check in here and manage. It’s one of the beautiful things about the way we have structured our work lives, we can be on a beach and still get the job done. That flexibility enables me to have so many experiences that I might miss without technology.”

Right? Yeah, but.

The thing is, how am I enjoying that day at the beach with my family if my head is stuck in my phone and work? How are they enjoying time with me if I’m distracted? I was lying to her, and to myself.

I recognize that my time is not productive when I’m multi-tasking, whether that’s answering emails while on a conference call or answering a client’s question by email while I’m having dinner, or at the beach or driving the car (I NEVER do that.)

Over time, more time than I like to admit, I’ve changed the way I do things. I’ve railed against multi-tasking for years, oblivious to the fact that despite my passion for the Pomodoro method, I was still multi-tasking. Instagramming dinner. Tweeting while pushing a cart down the aisle at the grocery store (sorry to the lady I almost ran over in produce). Doing a Facebook Livestream while walking in the forest. These things are just as annoying as that person who is talking oh so loudly on their phone in line at the bank! It's not good for anybody.

Over the last couple of years I started to put my phone away at dinner. Yes, sometimes I still pick my phone up and take a picture of my food and then put it back down, but that can’t possibly count if I tweet it later, right? Ahem.

I’m not sanctimonious about this. Really, I’m not. But I could be because it’s fascinating when I leave my phone on my desk and go for a walk how very differently I see things. Colors pop out at me. I notice the sky, and the smell of summer. My mind relaxes and I get back to my desk refreshed. We need this time to relax.

When I go for a walking meeting with a client without the phone we both pay more attention. We both have the opportunity to connect more deeply, be and feel heard. We get more done.

I’ve noticed that I can’t just leave my device in my pocket. I have to leave it on the desk, in the car or somewhere I can’t access it, because the urge to check it is almost uncontrollable.

Some people keep their phone in the glove box when in the car to resist the temptation to peek at notifications or text. I haven’t needed to do that, mostly because I’m adamantly against distracted driving, which we see so much of these days. Don’t kill people! End of discussion.

Give yourself a break. When we give ourselves time to focus on one thing we actually get more done, with less stress. We are more creative and we make deeper connections with those around us.

5 things you can do today to reduce stress, improve communication, focus, productivity, and simply be happier:

  • Allocate time for social media, email and phone calls. I check my email 4-5 times a day. Once you get into the rhythm you’ll find your “free” time more focused and calmer.
  • Turn off notifications for everything you can. Then check your social media platforms, text and voicemails on a schedule too.
  • Leave your phone behind. When you don’t need it, don’t have it with you. Leave it in your briefcase or in a drawer instead of in front of your face. Out of sight, out of mind.
  • Set time limits for specific tasks. If you get caught up watching videos on Youtube or Facebook? Set a timer for when you will stop. It’s easy to get caught up and lose track of time, but if you are interrupted you’ll be aware of it and make a more conscious choice.
  • Delete the networks you don’t use. I don’t know about you but I have a slew of apps, games, and social networks clamoring for my attention that I signed up for but never really use. Get rid of them and you get rid of the alerts and potential for mind-numbing distraction.

Take even one of the steps above and you’ll realize one day that you are wasting less time and spending more time enjoying life. 

Interested in working with me to increase resiliency, awareness, and happiness in your life? Let me know, I'm here to help!

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