Give Yourself Permission to Be Great

When I was 12 years old, my dad and I set a goal for me to get my AAA beach volleyball rating (AAA is the highest amateur rating that you can get). We did some research and found out that the youngest person to ever get a AAA rating was Mike Dodd (who later went on to win a silver medal in the 1996 Summer Olympics and is considered one of the best beach volleyball players of all time). He was 16. I don’t remember my dad’s exact words, but I know he said something like, “Let’s break his record.”

Over the next four years, we spent countless hours in the sand. My dad actually built a sand volleyball court in our backyard so we could play more often (we lived about 30 minutes from the beach).

The summer before my 17th birthday, we played in tournaments up and down the California coast. We did well but always came up short. I started having doubts about whether I was capable of not only getting my AAA rating but breaking Mike Dodd’s record.

By the beginning of September, the beach volleyball season was wrapping up. We looked at the event calendar and noticed that there was only one more AAA tournament. It was in Capitola (near Santa Cruz).

In the olden days (1994), beach volleyball tournaments were 2-day slogs (Saturday and Sunday, sunrise to sunset). We played great the first day, which qualified us for the second day.

On Sunday, we won our first match. And then disaster struck. My dad went up to block a ball and came down on the attacker’s foot. He crumpled to the ground in pain. He told me that he probably fractured something. We were both crushed. I remember thinking, “It’s over.”

Even though we had to forfeit the game, we were still in the double-elimination tournament.

While my dad sat under an umbrella, icing his foot, I walked about a quarter-mile down the beach and sat on a pile of rocks. I wanted to be tough, but I started crying. “We worked SO hard! How could this happen,” was all I could think.

After about 30 minutes, I decided to say a prayer. I had nothing to lose at this point. I grew up in a religious family. Praying was something we did on a regular basis. But like most teenagers, I just went through the motions. I remember closing my eyes and saying, “God, my dad and I have done everything we can. We’ve trained for four years. Please help us.”

Just then, I felt an intense burning sensation in my chest. It was both startling and comforting. My sadness melted away and I felt a rush of adrenaline and confidence. I was a little confused because 20 seconds earlier I had tears streaming down my face.

I wiped away the tears and jumped off the rocks. I jogged back to the volleyball courts. My dad was still icing his foot. I asked him if he could play and he said, “I’ll try.”

On a side note, I realize that some people reading this post don’t believe in God and think the idea of prayer is nonsense. I get it. Talking to someone (or something) you can’t see sounds a little strange (or maybe a LOT strange). Although I think most people believe in some sort of higher power, whether it’s a physical being, energy, ancestral spirits, nature, unicorns, etc. All I know is that something unexpected and powerful happened right after I prayed.

Getting back to the story…

My dad managed to grind out the rest of the tournament. I don’t know how he did it, but somehow he managed to play through the pain.

It all came down to one game. We were playing against two of the top players in California. They kicked our butts for the first half of the game. But we started to chip away at their lead. We eventually had the advantage and managed to fight our way to game point. I went back to serve. I hit a hard jump serve to the back left corner. He made a good pass and his partner gave him a good set. But he wasn’t able to put any heat on the ball. He hit a deep shot right at me. I passed it, my dad made a perfect set, and I went up to hit. I could see that the defender wasn’t in the back right corner. I made a nice rainbow shot over the blocker. I remember watching the ball, in slow motion, as it hit the sand. We won. And I managed to break Mike Dodd’s record by two months.

My dad fell on his back with his arms in the air and had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. A bunch of guys watching the game tackled me. It was surreal.

I’m including a picture that was taken seconds before I broke the record. There happened to be a photographer sitting on the sideline. This was almost 15 years before the iPhone came out. Most people didn’t walk around with a camera. I have no idea who the photographer was (someone gave us the picture later). But I’m glad someone was there to capture the moment.

Besides being a cool experience, there are two reasons I wanted to share this story:

1) For the first time in my life, I realized that there was something bigger than me out there — something I couldn’t see but could definitely feel. I think it’s important to have a connection with a higher power (however you define that).

2) I proved to myself that I was able to accomplish something great. That accomplishment opened up a lot of doors for me and became a defining moment in my life.

I have a 24 x 36 inch print of the picture on my bedroom wall. When life gets tough and I start doubting my abilities, I like to look at the picture and remind myself that I’m capable of doing great things.

I was talking to someone the other day that said, “I’ve never done anything great. There’s nothing special about me.” My response was, “There’s greatness inside of you. There’s greatness inside of everyone. You just need to give yourself permission to let it out.”

Most people spend their lives subconsciously wrapping themselves in a cocoon of self-doubt which is typically built on old mental and emotional programming. Self-doubt can lead to depression, overwhelm, sickness, anxiety, and a slew of other problems. And without the right tools, transitions in life can make things worse (getting a new job, moving, getting married (or divorced), having kids, starting a business, etc.).

Odds are you’re not a volleyball player. But you might be an entrepreneur, an artist, a teacher, a mother or father, a student, a basketball player, a singer, etc. It doesn’t matter what you do, with the right mental and emotional foundation, you’re capable of accomplishing great things.

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