Give Yourself a Break, Already!

You are exactly where you should be right now. I hope you know that.

This journey is yours. Feeling that you should be further ahead (whatever that means) doesn't serve you. Comparing yourself to others leaves you feeling miserable. Comparison is the thief of joy.

High Achievers Quandry

You are whitecoat. A professional who has what it takes to create the best life possible for yourself. You are proud of how far you've come but want to achieve more.

It is wonderful to improve. To be better every day. There are two different ways to go about self-improvement. One focuses on the negative and leaves you feeling miserable. The other focuses on the positive and is very sustainable long-term.

Miserable personal development:

Your plan for achieving more is to look at someone a few steps ahead and try to copy their results. Copy them exactly. Then you'll be them. Then you'll be happy and can relax, right?

1. Pick a role model
2. Try to be them
3. Copy everything they do
4. Get discouraged along the way that you aren't getting their exact results
5. Give up on yourself, saying it is too hard

Mentors are a great asset to help you move forward. They help you take clearer steps and avoid pitfalls they experienced. But, if you put one person on a pedestal and try to be them, then you'll fail. There is only one them. There is only one you. Learn as much as you can from others a few steps ahead...but don't try to be them.

Sustainable improvement:

1. Get your health and finances in order
2. Prioritize relationships
3. (Aka Get your oxygen mask on)
4. Build something as a creative pursuit for the sheer pleasure
5. Learn from a few people a few steps ahead, but don't try to copy any one person
6. Be yourself and do what you want to do. (Not what you should do)

Dare to relax and enjoy being yourself. Do we ever talk about that? Do you even know what you enjoy? Or is your brain hijacked that you must find and pursue the single most lucrative thing?

Remember that jobs that destroy your mental health are never worth it. Even with huge paychecks, it won't make you happy.

So, put on your blinders (like the horse in the picture above). Who cares what anyone else is doing? It doesn't matter what they are doing or how fast they do it. What matters is where you are putting your energy. Blinders help remove the filter you use to compare your development to others.

That may mean changing a few of your habits. Such as:

• Don't scroll social media aimlessly
• Create before consuming on social media
• Delete social media apps from your phone
• Don't pick up your phone to 'see what others are up to' every time you are bored

Remember, social media is everyone else's highlight reel. It is not real life. Do not compare your weakness to someone else's public strength.

Work on yourself, doing work that you enjoy and is fulfilling. That builds a rewarding life. Career and work aren't everything. It is amazing what you can create when it can be a piece of your life that you enjoy building.

Oh, and have patience for the ride. It is not a sprint to the finish line, after all.

We are in a holiday week and entering a big holiday season. Enjoy it! Keep moving forward, but also enjoy the season.

TL;DR (Too long; Didn't Read)

You are exactly where you are meant to be right now:

1. Don't try to be someone else
2. Build something you love---sustainably for your time & energy
3. Axe social comparison habits

Jamie

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