Give your patient h(ear) to the lady of your life!

Just pay attention to some beautiful lyrics of this famous song "Our Lady Peace, somewhere out there "Hope you remember me, When you're home sick and need a change, I miss your purple hair, I miss the way you taste, I know you'll come back someday, On a bed of nails, I'll wait, I'm praying that you don't burn out, Or fade away, All we are, Is all so far"

One thing I say with own experience that if a man gives his patient ear to his lady love and just listens to what she has to say and even some times without any words just try and learn to read between the lines and hear between the breaths some words unspoken by her and you realise that you should pay more attention to her and to understand what she is feeling inside. The more she is able to express herself and the more she is able to convey to us what her heart wants to say to you the more relaxed will she feel and she will then give you all the attention, love, care and admiration and approval and everything she can give you of her own mind and soul.

You realised the difference between hearing and listening right, brother? We use hear for sounds that come to our ears, without us necessarily trying to hear them! But when listen by giving our attention to the person opposite us and understand the words being said to us. If you interrupt their flow of speaking., and we know when someone is really listening, they should be able to hold their peace for a minute or two before they jump in to speak. If the person you are having a conversation with can't stop interrupting you, it's a sign that they are not really hearing what you are saying or mostly we listen only to respond to and not to understand what is being said and for what purpose.

The art of listening is about finding out what the family member thinks about something. When one person listens to one another, they learn from one another. A free flow of ideas that are truly listened to can lead to a workplace where the family members are constantly learning from each other. Being a good listener also involves drawing out important information from others to help them brainstorm and uncover fresh ideas and solutions. The key is to ask questions in a manner that it will promote as opposed to hinder the free and open flow of communication and idea-generating within the home. The cycles within our family runs on our ability to interact with each other, sharing ideas, opinions and experiences. We should pay more attention to the lady of the house so that we can keep a sense of positive connection in the atmosphere.

Specially during the lock down period during Covid-19 pandemic situation the lady of your house is completely engrossed in completing her duties for the household and she gets very little attention from the family members specially her spouse does not even have time to look at her or listen to her agonies or problems she wants to convey to him. Softly say, "Mmhmm," "Ahan, Yes," "Okay I see,"Yeah I understand what you mean" etc. as you follow along with what your wife is saying. Actually listen to what she says; open your ears and LISTEN TO what she's saying. Don't always immediately respond to your wife; take time to think about what you want to say to her to respect her thoughts and opinions.

By listening carefully when someone speaks, we're telling them that we care about what they're saying. The good news is that we can learn to be better listeners; however, listening takes practice. The more we do it, the better we get at it, and the more positive our interpersonal relationships will be on the long run. Your spouse may not want to hear what you have to say. Your spouse may have too many distractions at the time of your conversation. If having total attention to what you are saying is important to you, turn off cell phones, etc. Your spouse may not want to listen to avoid conflict or some other reason.

Everyone likes to be admired, even if your marriage is very very old by now but the number of years must have added some new matured affinity towards each other, it is no more the physical attraction you used to have for each other but the mental feeling of love and togetherness always grows inside the heart. “You are beautiful.” No matter about her age, her size or how long you've been married, a woman loves to hear that you think she's attractive. And, don't just say, “You look nice.” Instead, use adjectives like, great, lovely, fantastic. I tell you every one wants to hear those words some times, Just say wow even in this simple saree you look so awesome or even better, in this hair style no one can say you are mother of two.

How do we know if your partner for life still loves you or not. She makes an effort to impress you. . Women don't try to impress those they don't care about, she tries to spend more quality time with you, she shows her real feelings through her beautiful eyes,she pays attention to your needs and wants, she cares about your opinion on everything, she supports you in your work and your life's miseries and bad patches and she is totally involved in your life like sugar in milk.

Her anger towards you could be due to changes in body hormones, menopause, depression or stress, but unless she's willing to accept she has a problem, talk about it and seek help from her GP or a counsellor, then you'll never be able to move on. Sometimes a trial separation can help both partners to work out how they really feel about a relationship, but most of the ladies would agree that if your husband plans to take you on a brief holiday or a midweek break from the routine you would love it so much and would like to go out with him alone for a few days of relaxation and change of routine will bring your life back on track. Stay blessed and keep loving your lovely wife, she too deserves a break!